Since you Asked.

I had Grand Plans for Sunday night. I had planned on spending an hour or two with a glass of wine, sitting at the table and quietly writing up the next two weeks of school work. Instead, we spent it at my parents' house where I happily did a jigsaw puzzle with my mom and dad, chatting and laughing over a glass of Creme Soda. Sometimes unplanned plans are the best ones of all...

So here I sit, on Monday MORNING without a plan in the world for school today. Ah well. It'll be a checklist day of pages and reviews and such. No biggie. Especially since I am EXHAUSTED from our weekend!

"What did you do, Tracey? Why are you so EXHAUSTED?!?"

Glad you asked.

Saturday morning found me literally rolling Justin from bed to travel into Chicago for a Mom Date. I had tickets to MacBeth at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater* on Navy Pier.I exist! In a photograph!!

I am STILL THERE! With my Son!!

We were so excited to see these when we drove into the Navy Pier circle:
Native Chief in Chicago smiling even though his land is now covered in asphalt. Really? Do we really think he'd be cheerful? Especially when he's decapitated and made from frozen water?

Captain America is looking PISSED! It's no surprise as they haven't yet given him the horny things for his head. (Heh. Horny Things. I am sooooo going to let that lie. Heh heh)

Apparently it was also the Snow Days in Chicago and, had I known how cool it would be, I might have dragged the whole family to see it. I highly recommend this FREE event for all families next year. We were utterly amazed! I wonder what they do with the sculptures post-event? I'd assume they're still in place at Navy Pier. Wouldn't you? Destroying them seems kinda cruel...
We settled into our seats at the lovely Chicago Shakespeare Theater and I gave Justin another run-down of the play's storyline. He was ready for it and just happy to be out with only me. (Awwww.... He still likes me!) The initial battle and first few scenes were AWESOME. Incredible percussion, lighting and prop usage had me actually smiling in the dark. Not so much for Justin. He finally leaned over and said "I have NO CLUE what's going on!" I continued to try and keep him updated but somewhere around Lady MacBeth's breakdown Justin shook his head and said "Never mind. I don't want to know anymore."

Sigh. I guess MacBeth was just a touch too complicated for his first Shakespeare. I blame myself. I think Romeo and Juliet would have been an easier storyline to follow for him. Or maybe A Midsummer's Night Dream. The thing is, I LOVE Shakespeare! I love the rhythm and plots and crazy language that could take hours to truly dissect. I even took a Shakespeare class in college just for KICKS, even though it didn't count towards any degree.

Ah, me. (heh) Perhaps in a few years we can try again? In the meantime, you can go see MacBeth for free at my giveaway because I ADORED this show. If you've never been to Shakespeare, here's your chance to try it out!

After the play we decided to go to Justin's all-time favorite restaurant for what he declares is the BEST STEAK IN THE WORLD. What restaurant holds this title of high esteem?

TGI Friday's.

:)

I made that kid's day and we ate at Friday's all by ourselves and he ordered a steak WELL DONE (because pink is apparently disgusting when you're 11) and we talked and laughed and watched the NHL All Stars draft and he said that he didn't mind that MacBeth was "weird" because we got to do something together.

And I smiled and was happy and glowing inside because my pre-teen still likes his mom.


"But Tracey!" you say. "That's only Saturday! That couldn't possibly exhaust you! What else did you do? Tell me! Tell me!! I MUST KNOW!! I am obsessed by your life!!"

Good Lord. Take a CHILL. PILL. I'm getting there. Damn.

Stalker.

Cracks her knuckles....

On Sunday I woke up to the sound of children laughing and a husband making breakfast. I nearly wept at the sheer magic that that sentence held while I SHOWERED (Holy moly) and then Pat and I dropped the kids off at my parents (Ta-ta!) so that we could go see Cirque du Soleil: Dralion!!

Awe. Some.

I hadn't been to see any Cirque show since I was pregnant with Justin and it is just as amazing today as it was then. I can NOT figure out how people can be so in TUNE with each other!! How long does one work on a 30 second section before it's flawless? Everyone from the actors and acrobats to the light men and musicians must be 100% in sync for this to be pulled off so well. If you've never seen a Cirque show, I recommend making it a "Must Do". It's an experience unlike anything you've ever had and ALL live. You just don't see that anymore!

Patrick and I were giddy without kids in tow so we drove through fancy-schmancy neighborhoods and pretended to be looking for houses by pulling the listing sheets and holding our jaws up when the "reduced prices" were still close to 1 mill. Isn't there an economic crisis going on?? I'm sure we totally fooled the home owners into believing we were actual clients as we cruised around in our 1998 Grand Prix with a dent in the front bumper.

We then gorged on enchiladas at On The Border and felt completely stuffed with our meals which is why we ordered chocolate turtle empanadas with ice cream to share. Obviously.

I am still recovering from that calorie overload!

I then had to break the weekend down for my Mom and Dad over a puzzle with too many brown and boring horses and not enough butterflies. We straggled home around 10:00 pm and crashed into a cozy heap on the couch. A whole mess of arms and legs and pigtails and cuddly bears...

And that is why I am unprepared for Monday's lessons at 7:30 in the morning. And that is why I am not going to fret over their school work but will continue to digest that Mexican food with a cup of HOT Coffee as I browse a few blogs and read a few emails....

...Since you asked.


* I still have 4 tickets for a giveaway! NO ENTRIES!!

I'll take this kind of hormone fluctuation ANY time.

Wow. Being a woman is pretty freaking weird. I mean, I was actually able to FEEL the shift in my hormones today. As in, I physically KNEW that my hormone levels were dropping. I paused in my straightening of the house, my shoulders dropped, my eyes teared up and the papers I was shuffling gently drifted to the floor...

Generally, a fluctuation of such magnitude would cause me to bemoan my life and fling my heart upon the keyboard in complete distress. But that's because there are usually major stressors in my life which are all too eager to fill such a gap in my optimism.

Today, however, as the mood within me went from pretty damn happy to anxious and then absolutely indigo sad, I found that I had nothing to be upset about. Granted, the house is quite messy and I have a long list of tasks to accomplish that may not be checked off today... But nothing is really... BAD. There aren't any disasters or troubled relationships or overwhelming chores that cannot be completed. My life is currently fairly untroubled with positive possibilities on the visible horizon.

Heh. It's odd. I can sense this PMS need to pick at someone or something. I can FEEL it. For the first time in a long time, I can acknowledge this temporary psychological imbalance for what it is without the desire to shatter a window or evacuate to the beach.

The kids are happily ensconsced in their DS's and books (and hiding from me lest their mom questions why no one has done any school work by 11:30), I am quietly drinking my coffee and slowly cleaning the living room and honestly? This is the BEST damn PMS day I've ever had.

So cheers! Raising my cup with a pitifully unwarranted and thoroughly grumpy expression.

Not today. I look much less cheerful....

Evanisms: aka "Things I never want to forget"

1. "If I were a superhero, I'd be called the Masked Potato!" I was laughing too hard to ask him what super powers a potato would have. The ability to add 10 pounds to your thighs in a single sitting?

2. For this Evanism, you have to understand that we were meeting my husband at a hospital to do a kid switch-a-roo before I headed off to a meeting. Apparently, Evan thinks his dad is a secret agent sniper dude because he asked me this:

"It's taking us FOREVER to get there! When will we get to Daddy's Mercenary Center?"

FYI: It's MERCY CENTER in Aurora. Great hospital to deliver a baby in. Trust me. Ask for the big corner room. It's like a banquet hall!

3. This next cute little diddy is courtesy of Corinne. She and Evan love Michael Jackson. LOVE him. She was rockin her little body and belting out the words:

"You've been hit by (she receives an invisible punch to the chin), You've been SHRUNK by (she shrinks herself down to the ground), a Smooth Criminal!"

Adorableness is just overflowing in my household.

If Husbands had Blogs

Good Lord. Just the title of the post is enough to cause most of us to dry heave. Am I right or am I right?

There are precious few men who can inhabit this blogging world without creating a marital rift in their household. The ones who do: I applaud you*. But mostly I applaud your wives or significant others for having the strength to go through what I subject my own family to!

It's one thing for ME to write about my kids and family life. I mean, it's my life and I KNOW how it is. It is how I SAY it is. DUH! But if Patrick were to infer his own opinion about how our lives are run, there is a small chance (oh so small) that he may, ON OCCASION, disagree with my perception of a situation.

I KNOW! Can you imagine? It's difficult to believe, but I cannot rule out the possibility.

So, it is with great gratitude and joy that I thank my husband for not having a writing bug of any shape or sort. THANK YOU, HONEY!! Thank you for not encroaching upon this corner of my world! Thank you for letting me be the writer of our family history (her-story?). I promise to be 100% unbiased and level-headed no matter how many times I have to remind you to clean the cat box or take out the trash.***It has come to my attention that I only read 2 men bloggers. Please direct me to other writing men! I need to expand my horizons!!

**FYI. It's time.

School in Pajamas

Homeschooling has lots of advantages.

There aren't any "set" hours. This means that 8:00 at night is the perfect time to have a lengthy discussion about that cool presidential sheet your mom strategically left lying on the desk. Evan discovered that Grover Cleveland was the only president to be elected twice but not consecutively. This led to a damn cool conversation about Obama's election, equal rights, feminism, the Civil War, and who he thought were the most important presidents. (according to Evan: Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy and Obama. I am impressed!)

Another advantage of homeschooling: Any time is right for Pudding.

"When will the pudding be ready to eat, Mommy?"

"It won't be ready until you finish doing these sight words and math cards..."

Guess who surprised me with how many words she knows? Guess who can do addition in her head when pudding is setting in the fridge?But the best part of homeschooling?

No dress code.
(hidden below that table? Pajama pants and holey socks...)

Today is the Greatest...

This is what midwest kids do on icy cold days. They put together floor puzzles and fling their bodies onto them like sleds to careen down the hallways.

Or maybe it's just my kids?

Probably.

Footnote Me

I recently found myself in a high school English literature room. As is common in an English room, there were dozens of uplifting and inspiring posters lining the walls:

"Silent and Listen use the same letters..." (Ooooohhh!!! Never noticed that!)

"Be careful what you think: they become your words. Be careful of your words: they become your actions. Be careful of your actions..."

Sadly, no kittens hanging from baskets. Don't kids need a reminder to just "Hang in There" anymore? What's become of our world?

Amongst the cheerful pick-me-up phrases and Scare 'em Straight Anti-drug campaigns was a poster of about 20 of the most important English literary figures of the 20th century. I gazed at their somber, sepia-toned expressions for a moment before settling back into my oh-so-comfortable poured plastic desk chair.

Who were they? I have no clue. What did they write? It's beyond me. Does it matter? Only on an English test. Does anything that they wrote truly matter? Did they make the impact that they surely struggled and strove to make? Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is that 20 highly literate people had dreams and aspirations to become something greater than themselves and wound up as blurry, laminated little photos that nobody ever truly recognizes, taped upon a cinderblock wall.

I don't personally claim to be anything more than I appear. I AM a 34 year old, SAHM of 3. I'm Midwest, Middle Income, and nearly Middle-aged. I'm suburban, average weight, average height (ok, I'm kinda short), and average looking.

Summed up: I'm a fairly average person.

But I, just like everyone else, am much MORE than that! Appearances can only go so far. How much can my outward appearances and social demographics truly tell you about how I appear on the inside?

I am easy to please but quick to anger (and don't even get me started on how righteous I can be about the injustices of our world).

I love eating, reading, talking, listening and sex (not in that order).

I am happiest when I am in the front row of a roller coaster, just about to careen over that first hill. Elbows to my ears and screaming without pause; I adore that anticipation before the drop.

I often cry for those who have suffered and are suffering. The vastness of the humanitarian need on Earth astounds my heart...

What can be said about every person who has ever put a string of words together? We all share the same desires: to be heard, to be understood, to be admired, and to be remembered.

I don't think I'll ever be laminated and slapped upon a high school wall. But wouldn't it be cool to be footnoted somewhere?

What's your dream for your words?

Zu Zu Pet Gender Reassignment

A Question for you all:

If your mother were shouting at you to leave her alone because your whines and cries are so irritating that your OWN MOTHER (who adores you to pieces) cannot stand the noise, would you continue to stand just inches away from her? Would you continue to whine (at the top of your lungs) that you just KNOW that your Zu Zu pet is a girl even though your brother says it's a boy?!? Would you?

Wouldn't you assume that mere inches between yourself and your mother, who is currently swearing at the slowness of her computer and the impossibilities of ever becoming a Real Presence in the blogging world with such a handicap as said computer*, would be a poor choice of location for said tantrum?

The clincher for this mama is that the above mentioned child is currently singing a song about popcorn. She is no longer freaking the hell out over the gender of her damn electronic hamster while I am STILL aggravated beyond all belief.

FYI, Corinne: that black and white Zu Zu pet? The one that you insist is female even though your brother says otherwise? Guess what?

IT'S A BOY. Said so on the box. Ha HA!

I need a life.

*That's right, Tracey. Blame the computer...

*No hamster was injured in the writing of this post, though I sure as hell wanted to throw him down the toilet...

Insomnia Rocks

I wonder how many times I've sat down to write after either being:

a: inebriated

or

b: fatigued beyond belief from the insomnia that I refuse to do anything about. (I mean, doing something about it would require me to visit a doctor and that? Hahahahaha!! Only if I'm bleeding out of my ears, and that might be easily remedied by extra thick Q-tips, right? Doctors and I don't get along. They think they know all the answers and I happen to strongly disagree. Also, anyone who asks me if I'd mind them checking out my butt when I'm 8 months pregnant and is confused as to why I'd balk at that has something wrong with their brain.)

Did I just say "checking out my butt" on my blog? I do believe I did. I've been up since 1:30. This is as good as it's going to get.

Middle of the night shows are great. Really old re-runs of King of the Hill (like, 1997! Dude. I was freshly married in 97...) and Happy Days. Awesome. We have hundreds of channels including HBO on Demand and the best I can find at 2 am is Happy Days. At least it featured Fonzi. He was such a cutie. Eeeeeeeaaaayyyyyyyy....

It's all cool though, cuz I also managed to watch half of 50 First Dates. Yep. Nothing like watching one of the saddest romantic comedies with your husband and kids all snoring around you. (Yes. The entire family was in our room last night. This is pretty much par for the course. I'll miss it someday, right?)

ANYway. Slight break in typing and it's now... 6:00 am! Major benefit of being awake was having coffee with Patrick for half an hour before he heads off to work. 30 minutes and no interruptions!

Insomnia finally scores!

Lunch anyone?

Have I mentioned how much I love living in North East Illinois? We are just 45 minutes outside of Chicago which means we can enjoy all of the amenities of the city without the joy of their taxes and congestion.

Have I also mentioned how much I love the perks that blogging in the Chicagoland area brings? Perks like tickets to The Chicago Wolves, Disney on Ice*, Monster Jam**, MacBeth*** and an American Girl weekend away... All of these outings and reviews make my kids think I'm a rockstar. Truly!

One thing that I don't do often enough is get together with fellow bloggers just to HANG. And you know what? I want to hang with you guys! So, let me know if you're local(ish) and if you're available on Saturday, February 5. I want to get some of us together for lunch and coffee and chatting without worrying about networking or reviewing or anything. (Not that I don't love all of that!) Comment below and leave me your email and we'll set it up (unless you're a weird stalker man who plans on flashing us****).


*I still have 4 free tickets to giveaway for Disney on Ice!


**I will also have free tickets for Monster Jam coming up soon...


***AND 4 free tickets for MacBeth at the Shakespeare Theater at Navy Pier! Stay tuned....




~~~~



****In which case, I'll send you to a different location and laugh at your expense.*****




*****Unless you're a really smokin flasher and then I'll get a vote from everyone and get back to you.

A Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On...

Do you have any idea how much noise 3 kids can make in January? Holy balls! They have no concept of their own body masses. Thumping and thudding into walls and chasing each other through the house on a loop. Around and around the damn circle; who designs houses in a loop, anyway?!? Men, THAT's who.

Between Justin not realizing that he is almost 12 and the size of a smallish adult (i.e. MY SIZE, sigh) and Evan believing that he has super powers which allow him to catapult from the couches and chairs to land upon Justin in a WWF wrestling move and Corinne either shaking her bootie to the new Dance Central on the Kinect or riding her new Razor scooter in the house*, the volume level within my home is deafening.

DEAFENING.

Sometimes the noise can cause me to believe that there's a lot to worry about. Sometimes the petty arguments in our household "It's MY turn! That's not fair! I don't WAaannnnaaa!!" can escalate to a level that might cause the passerby to believe that we're unhappy and floundering. But that's only if you catch us on a bad moment. When I'm able to sit in a moment of rare silence, I fully recognize that I am Happy. With a capital H. Did you notice that? We are in a good spot and I SEE this. I embrace the chaos and silly arguments for what they are: Normal. Perfectly normal methods of relieving the easy stress that simply being alive requires.

I am so grateful for this stress. I am so, SO grateful that my family is alive and arguing, but making up afterwards. My pre-teen might drive me absolutely crazy with his perpetual moaning and groaning, but he still gives me hugs and wants to hang out with me. I still retain a smidge of "coolness" in his eyes (though it's swiftly on its way out, trust me!). I feel so lucky to be able to afford the food for a healthy dinner and serve it to my entire brood and husband, knowing that everything isn't "perfect" but we're all currently on the same page and it feels marvelous.

With Life being so fickle, we all have to embrace moments like these. Before we blink and the entire chapter has passed again...


*IN THE HOUSE! I am either extremely cool or positively insane.

Not quite the look I had in mind.

Wow. This is not how I pictured my top post to appear this morning. Let me clarify...

Patrick got me a new keyboard for Christmas. One without a space bar that wobbles and sticks, which is nice. It's always great to type and have the words be separated. This keyboard is a slightly curved one to help my wrists or something. He's looks out for me, that one. Quite the sweet husband, right? Little did I know that the Control button is now placed ever so slightly higher. This means that while I'm happily typing away about my weekend's adventures without looking at the screen or keyboard (because I have mad typing skills like that), I now tend to strike the Ctrl key instead of the Enter and sometimes just erase an entire post! AND it saved! Yaaayyy...

Merry Christmas to me!

Therefore, my attempts to post a tidbit of my fabulously funny brain at the top of my blog for any new readers who have jumped over from my post at Mamapedia today (hello!) have been foiled. Especially since today is Day One of Project "We are starting school BEFORE 11 AM and you will only get 1 warning if you are talking back and good work will bring rewards and we are a happy happy family tra la la!"

Yes. So. Hello, newbies! Sorry to disappoint but there are 3 kids who need some schooling and I am just the woman to answer that call!

I love me some Physical Fitness aka "Kinect ROCKS"

I never thought I'd be so happy as to see my kids "punching" each other before breakfast.
It's a good day, indeed.

Also? THAT is a Messy, messy house. It's a work in progress, folks. You should SEE how clean my bookshelves are, though.Those shelves right there? Have been emptied and moved and loaded with the art supplies. The kids' school shelves are next and then the office will be CLEAN and I will be HAPPY. It's amazing to me how rearranging a room can make the whole world seem fresh and bright and cause you to wonder at how you didn't see how the flow could be improved before. It feels as though I've discovered an entirely new room in our house!

On that note, I have tons of papers to file, corners to vacuum and kids to teach before the weekend can begin.

Keep it Real, peeps.

Ringing in the New Year 2011...

We usually go to my sister's house for New Year's Eve and leave the kids at my mother-in-law's house. It generally involved a lot of fancy mixed drinks and bra snapping while playing The Newlywed Game.

Since my sister and her family decided to go to DISNEY WORLD for this New Year's (brats) and my MIL had overnight company for the holiday, Patrick and I were a bit dumbfounded as to what we were going to do. His best friend saved the day by inviting us and another family over to hang out and play their new Xbox Kinect. Lemme tell you this: that Kinect was AWESOME.
Piece of evidence #1: Justin is dancing. A lot. And sweating. He is EXERCISING. My mouth was quite ajar, I can assure you.
#2: Of course, nothing was more exciting than wondering just how many times Patrick's head would hit the ceiling fan. At 6'5", I was sure it would be a bloody night; especially after they switched the fan ON because THEY WERE SWEATING, TOO! Amazingly enough, he only knicked his HAND once while diving to spike the "volley ball" on the Kinect's sports game. I was mildly disappointed and had a rum and Coke to drown my misery.

Right here is where you would see a picture of me and Justin playing a brutal game of boxing on the Kinect except, oh RIGHT, riiiiiggghhht. Nobody ever takes a picture of ME unless I hand them the damn camera and demand that my presence be recorded. I forgot.

Anyway, it's quite liberating to punch a virtual child of yours and shout "Do your schoolwork! Stop complaining! CLEAN YOUR ROOM!!!" I actually hurt my shoulder from the force and think that we should have warmed up prior to playing the VIDEO GAME that made even ME sweat! (FYI, I don't sweat. I refuse to. If anything, I may glisten in the midst of a humid heatwave in August, but it won't last long because I'll be in a pool before the "glistening" becomes too much.)

The neighbors were really kind to provide tons of explosives to shoot over the street. It was awesome to stand outside and shiver in January in ILLINOIS. It was even cooler (according to Evan) to see the police come and give them their fines. DUH!! People: It's like, a $750 fine to shoot off fireworks in Illinois. Not worth it. But thanks for the show, nonetheless!
Not New Year's, but my house is overrun with vermin since Christmas. I fear the day that one of them gets entangled in someone's hair. Who's gonna place bets on the "when"??
Also Not New Year's, but I don't care. He's all smiley in this shot as we played the Settlers of America. Heh Heh. Just wait, kiddo. I will wipe that smile off of your smug little face TWO TIMES IN A ROW as my team conquers yours. This mama knows how to settle a continent!

Pats herself on her back...
Also ALSO Not New Year's (I guess I could rename the post but really? I don't think it's worth the effort, do you?). Blood! Blood, I tell you!!!! The floppy, dangly tooth met its match in the form of a pancake and some syrup. It was pretty gruesome.

I know he looks manic. He's also cross-eyed, but I'm not sure why. All I know is that Evan is about to be chased after with a camera again. I sure do love me some holey mouths...

The Loyalty of a Child

8 years ago, in the midst of a hysterical crying spell by Baby Evan, I desperately snatched a random stuffed animal from his bin beside the crib. I knew that babies weren't supposed to have fluffy toys or pillows in their beds, but honestly, this kid hadn't slept on his own for 8 straight months* and I was DESPERATE. When his chubby baby hands came into contact with the pristine and beautiful panda bear that his grandma had received for donating to the World Wildlife Foundation, the heavens opened up and the angels sang and that baby SLEPT.

And I wept.

And Pandy Bear was adopted into the hearts of our entire family.

Over the past 8 years, he has traveled across the country, even on a plane! Pandy has had gentle spa treatments in our washing machine after Evan's illnesses or after unplanned "adventures" to the backyard sandbox. Pandy has comforted Evan through childhood tears and accompanied him through all stages of imaginative play. He has a smell about him that may be disgusting to the untrained nose but to this Mom, I understand the comfort he still brings to the overactive imagination of a little boy in the middle of the night.

As time has passed, we have found friends for Pandy Bear. His family has grown and grown and Evan currently has 8 total panda bears to snuggle with. And while they definitely do find their way into his hands for a hug or a quick panda battle, it is always, ALWAYS dirty, ratty, holey, smelly and floppy Pandy Bear that is his true love.

This Christmas, Grandma donated to the WWF again and received the SAME Panda Bear as a donation gift. The SAME ONE! I couldn't believe it! But the evidence was there in front of me, right down to the make and model number on their tags.

I wistfully smiled when I realized how much love the original Pandy has received. If ever a toy were to come alive when a child outgrows him, it would be Pandy.

Justin claims that this is what 8 years of abuse by Evan will do to you. He is bald on his ears, neck and stomach. His neck is so thin that Evan can fit his hand around it. His body mass is SIGNIFICANTLY less than the new guy...

I claim that this is what 8 years of LOVE looks like. The newer model may be fluffy and WHITE and smell divine, but my faithful child has not replaced his first love...

...No matter HOW many times people have tried!

I hope that he can always retain this ability to remain true to the ones who have stuck with him.


* 8 years later and he's STILL in our bed! WITH PANDY.