Why I'm Angry. Hint: I Don't Hate the Police

It's 3:12 in the morning and no, I haven't gone to bed yet.

My mind is racing and my heart is hurting and I just can't turn it off.

I literally want to run away from these conversations. In fact, I can. It's pretty damn easy. All I have to do is talk about something cute or funny. I can make an observation about the weather or the school year, and no one will think any less of me. I can let this fury just sliiiide away, if I want it to. And I do. I really want it to slide away. I really want to release the pain of knowing how huge the gap is between my side and your side. I would love to forget that some people now believe that I hate all policemen; that I am "rude, offensive, and just plain ignorant" because my beliefs are more liberal than theirs are. I think I could fall asleep fairly easily without that knowledge.

You see, I have that luxury. My skin tone allows it. I can be furious on Wednesday but silent on Thursday because it's not expected for me to be constantly battling a fight for equality.

It's bullshit. It's bullshit and I feel like a coward for considering the idea of backing off. I feel like a coward for deleting a heated conversation on Facebook. I feel like I didn't present my views appropriately. Maybe, if I had been more eloquent, more even-keeled, I could have swayed a perspective to the mere IDEA that things are UNBALANCED. And they're not unbalanced because white people are horrible and black people are saints. They're not unbalanced because being black and poor means you're a criminal; any more than being white and financially secure equals a law-abiding citizen.

Things are unbalanced because we all, ALL OF US, allow it to be so. Black and White and Asian and Latino, we all perpetuate these stereotypes and allow them to flourish. With every utterance of a slang term aimed at anyone, regardless of whether or not YOU ARE THAT DEMOGRAPHIC, we dig that divide ever deeper and wider... With every assumption made about a boy sitting on the curb of a parking lot or about a policeman patroling the streets of a heavy-crime area, we make assumptions and justify stereotypes and hurt ourselves.

Let me get one thing straight: I don't hate policemen. Or firemen, or paramedics, or the military, or anyone in public services. What I hate is the power that comes from the shield of those positions. I hate police violence. I hate military cover ups. I hate that the corruption of our system runs SO DEEPLY that anyone would have the audacity to even suggest that profiling doesn't exist.

I hate that a young boy has to be taught how to react if questioned by the police, for fear he will be arrested or SHOT. I hate that Michael Brown is just ONE FACE in a long line of people who have died by the same fate. I hate that arguments about the tiny details of HIS death are what people get hung up on: It's NOT just MICHAEL BROWN. It's the hundreds of deaths and harassments and injustices that don't go viral that are the fuel behind the fury. It's the young people of color who are killed in Chicago every day by gangs and drive by's that we are immune to. If Antonio Smith was a little white boy in my suburban neighborhood, shot down by a gang member, you can DAMN well be sure that it would be making the news. HUGE news. And yet... no. I've seen only a blurb here and there and it will fade away into the weekly murders that happen in Chicago, most especially on a hot summer weekend. Michael Brown's death simply lit a match in front a hissing stream of toxic gases.

This isn't just about police and riots and looting. This is about our nation seeing the equal value and unimaginable loss of every person, not despite the color of their skin, but BECAUSE of ALL of their attributes.

Because Words CAN Hurt

"But I didn't mean any offense! You're being too sensitive. This world is getting too p.c."

Here's the way to know if a phrase needs to be eliminated from your repertoire: Is the phrase said to connotate anything less than desirable? I.E., is the metaphor/simile indicating that whatever I am doing/saying/wearing something that is laughable? Then it is degrading. End of story.

Telling you that a phrase you may use isn't something I am comfortable with or that I find it offensive doesn't make me "overly sensitive" or "too politically correct." It means that I am trying to consider the feelings of other people, whether or not that particular group is represented at the time of the phrase's use.

The #LikeAGirl campaign by Always hit on a topic I've been wanting to cover for a while. In fact, just a few weeks ago, a kindly father at the neighborhood pool jokingly told his daughter that she was "throwing like a girl." Now, had she not been playing with my own daughter at the time, I may not have intervened with my own comment. But she WAS beside my own daughter and I could not stand by and let this comment go;

"Like a girl? So, you mean she threw it strong and far, right? Because girls are amazing and powerful and nothing to be made fun of, right?"

I was actually trying to be kind and approachable when I said this, as I know most people feel that this is a joke that is still socially acceptable.

It's not.

It's no longer acceptable to degrade females. It's no longer acceptable to make remarks about any group of human beings in a way that implies that they are less than desirable. I think it should go without saying, but it is not acceptable to mock someone because of their race, religion, sexual orientation, mental capacities, physical limitations, social status or gender. IT'S NOT.

This means you cannot say things like "that's so gay" , "he's so retarded", or "trailer trash" without hurting someone. Not only because a person within earshot may be homosexual, mentally challenged, or raised in a trailer park, but also because it perpetuates the idea that those stereotypes are valid. Words have power. Words have WEIGHT.

"But it's ok! I AM gay-Jewish-overweight-female-poverty-born! I can mock myself!"

This makes me sigh, because I get it. I do it. We all do it. Life cannot be focused on being serious and politically correct. Life should be about embracing the fun and the light and the joy, and I GET IT. But do we have to knock each other or ourselves down in order to have the laughter?

I'm not being overly sensitive. I'm not making too much out of a "simple phrase, meant in jest." I'm not trying to police the world and make everyone think exactly as I do. I know for a FACT that I still make mistakes regarding some of the phrases I have grown up with. I can guarantee you that I have uttered less than complimentary phrases about groups of people, without even thinking about what it actually meant to them, or to me. I own my own biases and continue to work past them. All I ask is that we all consider our words before we speak them. All I ask is that each of us owns our own mistakes and tries to move forward.

How else can we create a society that gracious and kind, if we continue to knock each other down?



#LikeAGirl means "like a person who is capable and strong, who just happens to be female."

Help Make This a Hunger Free Summer

*This compensated post is brought to you by ConAgra Foods and The Motherhood, but all words and opinions are my own.

Just Another U.S. map, right?

Except that this map is color coded to display the levels of our population who are currently food insecure. What does "food insecure" mean? Being Food Insecure is pretty straight-forward. It means that you do NOT know that there will be food in your belly tomorrow night, or maybe even tonight. In a country so abundant in food production to the point that approximately 40% is thrown into the trash every year, how is it possible that so many people are in such great need of nutrition?

Perhaps the hardest statistic to digest is this: 1 out of 6 children in the US fall into the food insecure category. ONE OUT OF SIX children in this country, a country which is literally OVERFLOWING with food, go to bed hungry every night.

You may be wondering, "How is this possible? Don't we have programs to combat this hunger? Doesn't anybody care enough to fight this?"

People care! Programs exist! They exist, but one of the difficulties for those who are in need is connecting with the assistance that is available. In the school year, for instance, over 20 million children receive free lunches at school through government assistance programs, but only approximately 2 million children continue to participate in summertime food programs. The need does not suddenly disappear from June-August. Families still struggle to obtain ample, nutritious sustenance; but lack of education about resources and/or affordable transportation results in an enormous discrepancy of assistance being received.

ConAgra Foods Foundation is in its 4th year of a 5 year pledge to help eliminate summertime child hunger. This summer, 29 food banks in 20 states will receive Hunger Free Summer grants, ranging from $20,000 to $50,000, to benefit programs that strive to take the extra step in helping the neediest of our citizens through extensive outreach.

What can you do to help today? The simplest thing of all is to click on this YouTube video, narrated by Chris O'Donnell and watch it all the way to the end. For every completed view, ConAgra will donate the monetary equivalent* of one meal to Feeding America.

 

And NOW that you've watched it, you have the ability to take it one step further by sharing this video across your social media sites! Again, every completed view = 1 meal for a very hungry child. When was the last time you were able to feed a hungry child by watching a YouTube video?

*Monetary equivalent of one meal is approximately $.13

Any facts not attributed or linked otherwise can be found on the ConAgra Foods Foundation Website or Feeding America website.

I'll Wear Black

8 years ago, a little ray of sunshine was born. Though I was personally unable to meet this sweet girl before she became a victim of the beast that is cancer, I am lucky to know her mother today. Through the continuing love of her momma, I am privileged to know of Donna.

I met Sheila this year when she was in LTYM Chicago. Her story on stage, back stage, and on her blog have truly touched me. Today, July 20, marks the day that little Donna would have been 8 years old. Just 3 months before my own sweet ray of sunshine turns 8... I cannot begin to comprehend the level of pain that such a devastating loss would incur. I do not know HOW Sheila continues on with as much passion and grace as she possesses; but she does, and it astounds me and humbles me.

Today, in honor of Donna's 8th birthday, I plan to wear her favorite color (Black!) and to keep her family in my mind as they cross yet another milestone without her by their sides. If you can, please keep them in your mind with a prayer or comment on Sheila's website and pass along a cyber-hug. Even more, if you feel compelled and are able, consider a visit to the charity page that they have set up in her honor; Donna's Good Things. Join me in a small donation to this organization that brings "joyful opportunities for children facing adversity, be it economic, familial, social or health related."

Happy Birthday, Donna...

A Truly Hunger Free Summer....

*This compensated post is brought to you by ConAgra Foods and The Motherhood, but all words and opinions are my own.

I over ate today. I did and it sucked because it just doesn't "go away." It takes time before I am comfortable again and I end up feeling so guilty! Not only because I would like to be healthier (and thinner) but also because I know how very difficult it is for a vast population in America to procure enough to eat let alone be in a position to have TOO MUCH.

Being hungry... It's a different kind of pain. I can't imagine how much agony it must be to always have that empty churning in your belly. I know that missing just one meal is enough to distract me from all duties and dreams. What must the constancy of a pain in your stomach do to your ability to focus on schoolwork? When hunger is consuming you, there is little room in your life for anything sparkly and grand. How can one focus on planning for tomorrow when today is full of instability and confusion?

Did you know that more than 21 million children are enrolled in the free or reduced-cost lunch programs offered by their schools but only approximately 2 million children utilize the government supported summer feeding programs?? Think about what that number means. When I visualize millions of children potentially missing a meal every day for the entire summer (a meal that may have been their only nutritious possibility during the school year), my heart breaks.

ConAgra Foods Foundation has continued their pledge to battle this food insecurity in the summertime through the Hunger Free Summer program. Across the country, food banks will benefit from the nearly 30 grants that ConAgra issues to support programs that connect hunger insecure children with the resources that their families need to receive the assistance that is available. I am so grateful for the support that they provide and often wish that I was in a position to make a bigger difference as well.

Thankfully, there IS a simple way that all of us can help. Even if you haven't a penny to spare, you can help feed a child today. For every view of this YouTube video hosted by Chris O'Donnell, ConAgra Foods Foundation will contribute the monetary equivalent of one meal to Feeding America. Be sure to watch it to the end for the view to count!*


Now that you've watched it, please share the link on any social media site you frequent. Just think of the implications of each of us sharing the video about 5 times!! How many people do you know on Facebook or Twitter? JUST THINK of the ripple effect you can cause! YOUR help of just a few minutes of your time may result in thousands of hungry children receiving meals this summer.

What else? What else can we do? Well, if you do have a few spare dollars, please consider the Feeding America as a worthy choice to donate to. You can find more information on their program HERE. You can always call your local food bank to find out what products they are low on and throw a few extras into your shopping cart at your next grocery store run. Also, if you have any other ideas, please comment below and share with us all! This is an ongoing problem and one that cannot be solved with just outlet.

Let's make this the year that marks the change of summertime hunger!

*Be sure to watch it to the end for the view to count!!

With Liberty and Justice for All

Happy Fourth of July to all of my fellow Americans. Whether or not we agree with the original ideas behind the Revolutionary War; whether or not we feel that our government is fully just and honest; and whichever color crayon you use to shade your state in a coloring book; we can hopefully all agree that our country is one of high ideals and grand plans. We may not have the best delivery system of said plans, but in general, our hearts are in the right spots. We may not be 100% equal in the eyes of the law, but the efforts are there; we continue to grow and stretch our minds.

This country is a family. A huge, dysfunctional, vastly diverse family with all of the quirks and complications and history and love that families tend to carry.

And while I would love to change many, many things about this beloved country of ours, I wouldn't leave it for anything.

I am proud to be an American.

Please leave God out of it

Here's my issue with bringing God and religion into Civil Rights' issues like marriage equality:

"He" doesn't belong there.

He doesn't. God can belong in your religious ceremony where you and your loved one get married. You can bring God into your home and worship him any way you feel is appropriate.

But God does not belong in a Civil Rights conversation. Separation of Church and State SHOULD mean that, well, the church and the state are SEPARATED.

Your church does not have to recognize a marriage. They don't have to perform ceremonies on anyone they feel do not meet their criteria. Whatever floats your boat, guys.

If I get married in a court house or a ceremony at the beach with a Justice of the Peace, I am not getting married in a "House of God*." Your religious views should have no bearing on whether or not two people have the "right" to wed. Not anymore. Not here. Not in this country.

If you can prove that there is some other reason why 2 people who are committing their lives to each other should not receive the EXACT SAME BENEFITS from the government, including all medical, property, taxes, etc., then please: let's discuss. But do NOT bring a religious deity into the conversation.




*My opinion is that the entire world is the House of God and that churches are buildings where people go to try to become closer to the religion, not God. But that is my own experience and (hopefully) not yours. I just know that being surrounded by strangers who may be judging what I am wearing and judging the behavior of my family in a building is not the most comfortable place to commune with the Universe.

Let it Snow...

It's not snowing in Illinois (yet) but we spent some time this morning surrounded by snowy flakes...

My children and I created several snowflakes to contribute to the Parent Teacher Association of Connecticut's collection. They plan on creating a winter wonderland for the survivors of the Sandy Hook Elementary School tragedy. Though the students and staff will not return to that particular school, they will be at new schools soon. When they get there, I hope they see that every single snowflake was made with love and support. I hope our combined efforts allow them to feel even the tiniest bit of Hope for a happy future...

If you'd like to contribute to the national collection, the deadline is January 12 to mail in the flakes. You can find more information on the National PTSA page.

Because 19 million hungry kids is unacceptable...

When school lets out, what happens to the children who were receiving free lunches? If the parents weren't able to provide lunch during the school year, are they suddenly able to provide lunch during the summer?

Most often, the answer is No.

21 million American children participate in some kind of meal assistance program throughout the school year. Only about 2.3 million participate in summertime lunch programs. This leaves approximately 19 million children in America who are food insecure. 19 million children who may not receive a full and nutritious meal throughout the day, for weeks and weeks on end.

That is not acceptable.

Each week, within the Chicago city limits, over 140,000 men, women and children receive food assistance from the Greater Chicago Food Depository. Of that number, 37% served are children. That means that nearly Four THOUSAND children every week in the Chicago area alone would be unsure of where their next meal would come from were it not for the amazing coordination skills of the Greater Chicago Food Depository.

And folks? It is an AMAZING facility.

Me and Sidney getting an informative tour of the facility.

The staff is dedicated to not only providing healthy food for the Chicago residents in need, but to also further the employment abilities of those who need job experience. "The Chicago's Community Kitchens is a free, 14-week foodservice training program for unemployed and underemployed adults. The program, located at the Food Depository's state of the art industrial kitchen, prepares students to break their personal cycles of poverty through workforce training providing them with a solid foundation in food preparation. Students gain experience while preparing thousands of meals a day for children and older adults served by Food Depository programs."

The food they prepare goes into programs like the Lunch Bus which travels to 15 city sites in Chicago and the South suburbs. Every day, Monday through Friday, any child under 18 can receive a free meal at any of these sites. No child is turned away. For some kids, this may be their only meal all day.

 Could you tell these kids that they couldn't have lunch? That they'll have to go hungry?

They were beautiful, cheerful and grateful children. Happy to receive the nutritious sandwiches, fruit and milk. Their families amazed me: The families were choosing to accept the assistance to ensure that their children were receiving healthy meals, instead of allowing pride to interfere.

That is what parenting is really about, isn't it? Not about how much money we make or proving how strong and capable we are. Parenting is about realizing what our children NEED and doing whatever it takes to get it for them.

You can still help feed more of these hungry faces by downloading a copy of the Hunger Avengers booklet on Facebook. The more downloads and shares, the more meals ConAgra Foods Foundation will donate. You can also contribute directly to the Greater Chicagoland Food Depository right here. Every dollar and every penny counts towards the upkeep of the facility and vehicles, purchasing of fresh produce, eggs and milk, and maintaining the fabulous services. Because as awesome as these programs are, there are still thousands of children in the Chicago area that don't get to fill their stomachs. Either because they are too far from a lunch bus route or a Kids' Cafe or because they are unaware of these programs; thousands of kids in Chicago each day cannot concentrate on anything but that hunger pain.

If your stomach was perpetually empty, what would you resort to in order to fill it? If your child was hungry and you could not find employment, and didn't know about food programs like this, what would you do? 


We have to get the word out.

Will you help spread the word? Will you help fill stop their pain?


Disclaimer: Though I am being compensated by ConAgra Foods to help spread the word about their Hunger-Free Summer campaign, all opinions remain my own.

Let's Make This a Hunger Free Summer!

She called to a bouncy little boy who immediately dashed from his group of 8 and 9 year old friends to look up at her expectantly.

"This one is a fabulous artist! He is the one who created the pictures I have framed in the library and some in the hallway."

His brown eyes positively sparkled at the praise. And he wasn't shy. Oh no! This young boy (I think of him as Mr. Personality, now) proudly described what we needed to look for and where we should be looking. "Or I can just take you to see them now, if you like!"

We laughed and Rena, the director of the Boys and Girls Club/YMCA of Nashville, TN, sent him back to the game with the assurance that our group of bloggers (some of whom had very fancy and impressive cameras) would definitely check out his art.

We continued to discuss the aspects of the facility and the growth it is able to continue to have, thanks to programs like the The Second Harvest Food Bank which donates healthy food for lunch for these 100-some children. The donated food allows the children's center to focus their allotted budget on enrichment activities like the art classes that this bright-eyed boy was benefiting from. It allows these children to feel empowered in themselves and hopeful for their futures by keeping hunger at bay throughout the summer; a time when countless American kids suffer without the free meals provided through the public schools.

Our group began to leave the gymnasium to finish our tour of the facility when Mr. Personality ran back to Rena's side. "Be sure to check out my art!"

I made sure that we did. How could I not? His chocolate brown eyes reminded me so much of my own 10 year old's that I felt drawn to this little boy. We backtracked to the makeshift library where some lovely pencil drawings were lovingly displayed in black plastic frames.

My heart was, at this point, overwhelmed. What must that mean to a kid? Especially one who might have otherwise been without a place to feel so validated?  What must it mean to a child to not have to focus on the hunger in his belly but instead on the art in his mind? To be able to be a child instead of worrying about where his next meal would come from?

 He is one of the lucky children from the area who is able to be enrolled in a program like the Boys and Girls Club/YMCA. He is lucky enough to not feel the hunger that millions of American children feel every day. He is lucky to be surrounded by staff that obviously loves not only what they do but the very children they care for.

Inspired.

I was lucky enough to be asked to participate in this joint venture by ConAgra Foods and Feeding America. I was proud to help pack hundreds of bags of food that would feed hundreds of kids over a weekend away from programs like the YMCA. Food that would sustain them if their families weren't able to afford it. Food that would allow a boy like Mr. Personality to allow his mind and heart to focus on play and art and books.

Did you know that 21 million children participate in free lunch programs through their schools? Did you know that when school lets out, only about 2.3 million children participate in the summertime lunch programs? You do the math on how many hungry children that equals from June through August...

ConAgra Foods Foundation has pledged $5 million dollars to be donated over a course of 5 years to assist in reaching out to these children in need. And they have made it so easy for any of us to help the children across America from feeling that pain this summer. Simply by downloading a copy of their "Hunger Avengers Activity Booklet", which is an adorable booklet that explains what hunger means for our fortunate children, ConAgra Foods will donate a meal to Feeding America.

Kellie Pickler, me and fellow bloggers and teen volunteers working on weekend bags for hungry children at Second Harvest in Nashville, TN. Photo credit: Dean Dixon AP

Want to do more?

Consider donating directly to Feeding America here. $1 equals 8 meals*.

Volunteer at one of your local food banks! Call them and see what their greatest need is.

SPREAD THE WORD! Share the information about the Hunger Avengers Activity Booklet in every way you can think of! The more it's downloaded, the more meals will be donated. And more children like the ones I met will have a healthier, happier summer.


*According to Feeding America's Website.

Disclaimer: Though I am being compensated by ConAgra Foods to help spread the word about their Hunger-Free Summer campaign, all opinions remain my own.

Much Thanks

We were standing at one of our many runs to the Meijer in Indianapolis this weekend because, apparently, this is what one must do in order to go to the racetrack on Memorial Day. Don't question the menfolk. Just go with it and everyone will end up with their favorite type of beer and grilled meat of choice and nobody will get hurt.

In line, paying for yet another bag of ice*, an elderly gentleman approaches my husband.

"Did you serve?" he trembles.

"Yes." says Patrick.

"When did you get back?"

"About 20 years ago." my very young-looking husband smiled.

"Oh! Well, thank you. Thank you so much for your service!" the man replies.

"Absolutely, sir. You're welcome."

I was at a loss. Nobody ever approaches ME and assumes that I was in the military! I commented on how random that was.

"It's the haircut," Pat explained. "It happens to me all the time."

And that? That memory was the sweetest one of all of Memorial Day for me. People who go out of their way to remember and recognize the countless sacrifices that our daily freedom has required. I fear that I didn't do a good enough job acknowledging the day, myself. I was so concerned with not passing out from heat exhaustion or sun poisoning, that I only allowed myself a brief moment to pause and remember.

And now, in the artificially cooled air of my safe home in a civilized neighborhood, I gaze around at my blessings and say THANK YOU. Thank you to the people who are not only currently serving their country, but also all of the men and women who have died for America, for freedom... For every parent of a military person who has ever had to mourn the loss of their child. For every child who has had to mourn the passing of their parent. For hundreds of years of sacrificing oneself for the good of the All. For all of the pain that millions and millions and millions of those who were left behind and for all of the joy that those who had to leave missed out on... 

THANK YOU.

He still gets carded at times. Drives me crazy...

*Seriously? Between the old fridge dying and 94 degree heat all weekend, I do believe we have personally kept the ice industry in business for all of May. All of you readers in the Arctic circle? You're welcome.

A Mother's Day of Love... (and a giveaway!)

 Comments are closed. Giveaway is over.

The winner has been chosen via Random.org and is #2, Judy VanHoose! Congrats, Judy, and thank you to everyone for entering. I still have 2 other giveaways running and will have several more in the coming weeks.
 ~~~~~~~

I love promotions that are truly from the heart of a company. This year, Macy’s has partnered with five charities in honor of mothers. To participate, simply head to Macy's Thank-a-Mom on Facebook April 24 through Mother’s Day and send free, personalized Mother’s Day e-cards to the special moms in your life. For each e-card sent, Macy’s will donate $3 to the charity of your choice, up to $400,000.
-        American Heart Association’s Go Red For Women^® movement
-        Futures Without Violence
-        Make-A-Wish Foundation^®
-        National Park Foundation
-        Reading Is Fundamental

I am personally choosing the Make-A-Wish Foundation as my charity recipient in honor of fellow LTYM producer, Stephanie Precourt. Stephanie's son, Noah, suffered from a severe form of epilepsy as a young boy. I remember reading her story in 2006.... it has always stuck with me. Make-A-Wish granted Noah a wish in 2006 and I would like to help them grant more wishes for the young who are suffering. I hope you choose Make a Wish as the recipient for your free Mother's Day E-Card.

Macy's is also generously offering a reader of my blog a gift for helping to spread the word about Thank-a-Mom on Facebook. One reader will receive a Jones New York Wrap Satin Pashmina.

Oooh! Aaahhh! Very lovely and very beautiful and I so, so wish I had one for this Sunday at the Listen To Your Mother show...

Simply enter below who you want to write an e-card to and you will be entered in this contest. If you tweet or share this giveaway on Facebook, you can enter an extra comment for an extra entry, but only one extra entry per person (so that means TWO ENTRIES MAX each).

We'll draw the winner on May 13!

(Open to U.S. residents only)



*Disclosure: I was contacted by M80 on behalf of Macy's. I am being compensated for this post with product, but all words and opinions remain my own.

Time for a Little Heart to Heart....

Speaking of diseases that try to destroy the women we love...

Friday, February 3 is National Wear Red Day. I will be wearing RED! (Note to self: Do some laundry.)

The National Go Red For Women Foundation focuses on bringing awareness to women's heart disease. Why only women and not men and women? As a person who has had male loved ones with serious heart disease, I was curious, too.

Their website explains it quite well, I think:

In the past, heart disease and heart attack have been predominantly associated with men. Historically, men have been the subjects of the research done to understand heart disease and stroke, which has been the basis for treatment guidelines and programs. This led to an oversimplified, distorted view of heart disease and risk, which has worked to the detriment of women.

Because women have been largely ignored as a specific group, their awareness of their risk of this often-preventable disease has suffered. Only 55 percent of women realize heart disease is their No. 1 killer and less than half know what are considered healthy levels for cardiovascular risk factors like blood pressure and cholesterol. The Go Red For Women movement works to make sure women know they are at risk so they can take action to protect their health.

We women are always the caregivers and rarely think about providing care for ourselves. It's time to put a stop to that oversight and place ourselves higher on the To Do list than the laundry and soccer practices! I mean, it's pretty freaking hard to multi-task if you're having a heart attack...

Though this short movie is meant to be light-hearted, it's not meant to downplay the seriousness of women's health and I think the point is pretty clear:



This February 29, Sassy Moms in the City will be hosting a fabulous event to draw awareness for women's heart health! Girl's Night Out will boast raffles, music, mini spa services, etc. FUN STUFF. Fun stuff that brings women together. Women that are all wearing red, joining forces, and remembering the reason behind our red dresses is to Fight Heart Disease and spread awareness of how to do so.

I just so happen to LOVE red dresses!!
* Sassy Moms is providing me with a complimentary ticket to help them spread the word for their event. Don't tell them (cuz I really want to go!), but I would have done it for free.

Thank You

Thank you.

For every man and woman who has dedicated part or all of their lives to serving in the armed forces, thank you.

Thank you to my dad, for enlisting and fighting in the Army in Vietnam. For paying the lifelong prices that that service has cost you. For the pain and medical issues you've had to endure...
Thank you to my husband, for enlisting and serving in the Navy during Desert Storm. It's men and women like you who have helped to ensure America's strength and stability.I love you both.

I hope we all remember to thank a Veteran today.

Dozens of Hands and Hearts

Do you know anyone who is truly genuine? Anyone who is honestly a Good Person without being annoying? I know someone like that. She may disagree, but trust me; she's the Real Deal.

Back in April of 2010, I was fortunate enough to go on a fabulous trip sponsored by the CVB of Galena. It was there that I met 6 women (I already knew Kim!) who honestly made the trip 1000% more fun. One person who quickly graduated from "strange person I am spending 48 consecutive hours with" into "Friend" was Brandie from A Journey of 1000 Stitches Begins With Just One... We initially bonded over our homeschooling family connection but continued on to become Friends because we make each other laugh and don't care about perfection. (Though, secretly, I think she's a little too kind-hearted to be my friend. Please don't let her know! I don't have too many genuine friends!)

Galena, IL, 04/2010

So, it was with an extremely saddened heart that I learned of her recent diagnosis of breast cancer. She is in her early 30's and lives one of those Organic-Healthy lives that would indicate that she should be "safer" than the rest of us, you know? Unfortunately, none of us is safe when it comes to the Bastard that is Cancer.

April 2010, winning a new washer and dryer from the Kenmore Live Studio Grand Opening in Chicago. We were so excited for her because her own washer had just gone Kaput!

January 2011 at the Chicago Wolves game with her daughters

What the hell, right? I am still in the "Angry" phase of her diagnosis. I am ROYALLY pissed off and have taken to saying the words "Fucking Cancer" to my husband several times a day, usually while throwing laundry around. It won't be long before my 5 year old begins to chant it, I'm sure...

Me and Brandie kissing Amy Mueller at the latest GCBM lunch.

What to do for someone who has to deal with this? No words, no gifts, no card will make it "better". I can't send her a personal housekeeper and chef along with a physical therapist to live in her home to ease her pain and speed her recovery.

But I can, as a fellow blogger, wield the one small power I have. I can ask each of you to pause a moment and send her a prayer. I can go one further and ask you to inundate her blog with heart-felt comments of love and encouragement before she undergoes her first surgery on Wednesday. I can ask you all to please remember Brandie and her husband and 3 young children on Wednesday, this week and the coming year as she undergoes many medical procedures and they all undergo a very stressful time in their lives. I know she will beat this f#cking cancer and surface with an even stronger heart than she had before. But it's always nice to begin one's journey with dozens of hands and hearts holding you up.

Brandie, I love you, honey. I will continue to think of you and your family every day. I pray for a smooth surgery and peaceful recovery...

Also, Happy Birthday, Brandie!!


You can also donate to the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure in Brandie's name or in the name of all women who must battle breast cancer. We WILL find a way to beat this disease. We HAVE TO.

My friend Rita is donating $1 for every comment (up to $100) that she receives today on her current post in Brandie's honor. Head on over there, too!

How to Help

We all struggle to know what to do, who to donate to, and how to help out when horrible situations present themselves around the world. Japan, Libya, Afghanistan... There is so much need! Our children may feel globally disconnected and unable to help at all. They are, after all, just children.

I hope you've heard about Freerice.com before. It's an educational online game that donates ten grains of rice for every correct answer you give in subjects like vocabulary, multiplication, famous paintings, and geography. But did you know that they provide enough food for 4 million people to eat in one day based upon donations from the game?

4 MILLION people.

Think about that.

Freerice.com supports the WFP, the World Food Programme, to feed and support those who are affected by social, economic, and environmental crises.

I personally utilize Freerice as part of my homeschooling day. Earning 500 grains of rice means answering 50 questions correctly. It's a short quiz that takes 10 minutes and allows my kids to contribute to the world, doing something they would have been doing anyway! Evan is renowned for "surprising" me with 1000 grains of rice instead. He'll deliberately do EXTRA MATH because he knows that his actions will directly affect the hunger of another human being!!

A program that educates on more than one level is something I stand firmly behind.

So go on! If you haven't done it today, go to Freerice and answer a few questions! Make it part of your daily routine. Invite your kids to earn rice alongside and see who can tally the most up in a week or a month. Empower your entire family in the fight against poverty and starvation.

5 minutes could save the life of a starving child, pregnant mother, or desperate father.

After all, you're already online!!


Here's a short video explaining exactly how the WFP works with people in need around the world:

My heart is moved...

Something to think about this Christmas and every day of the year... My heart goes to all of the families who aren't physically together. I hope that we can all try to help places like St. Jude's continue to do such amazing work...

FYI, this video is extremely touching and heart-wrenching. I am weeping from the words and by the actions that of this town that gathered together for one little boy.



You can donate here in honor of little Dax Locke. Thank you to Matthew West for writing such an inspiring tribute.

Babywearing Memories

Just another mommy, pitching in her two cents about baby slings and baby wearing...
My heart breaks for every parent who loses their child, be it due to product or user error...
If there truly are faults with ONE product, then that should be remedied, for sure...
But to think of the closeness and convenience that wearing my babies allowed and to think that it could be robbed from a future mother...
or father, makes me truly, truly sad.
I've never had a baby fall from a sling or get stuck in one, but I have had a stroller tip over WHILE my child was within it. I've also had situations where emergency required me to grasp my 3 year old by his arm before a car ran him over or to throw my arms out to balance myself while carrying Corinne in a sling. Had I been carrying my daughter in my arms without the extra support of the sling, she could have easily gotten hurt as Evan was when he was being carried in my arms. I slipped on the stairs and couldn't stop myself. Though I tried to protect us both, his little body was flung from me... ..and after much screaming and x-rays, it was determined that his sweet 1 year old leg was broken. A sling might have prevented that injury... So, which is safer? My arms, a stroller, or a sling?The only options I had back when the boys were babies was a backpack carrier and a Snugli, both of which killed my back and weren't feasible after 20 pounds or so.
The sling, though? My little girl was a breeze in it up to age 3 and still, at almost 5 years old, STILL talks about how she loved being my little Koala bear in the sling.

Babywearing memories are something I'll always treasure. Please link up to Adventures in Babywearing to share your babywearing stories or photos. Visit the BCIA and contribute your support over there, too. Our voices need to be heard as the big wigs of baby safety are discussing what the future of babywearing is...

Tutus are slimming...

Not At BlogHer.

Not flying to New York City.

Not keeping track of Marinka.

No fabulous updates of parties and inspirational speeches and long-time internet friends reunited over a candlelit table.

BUT. I got to put on a tutu at a bar last night which then led to me propositioning a bunch of frat boys who thought the women at the front table were absolute loonies (but hot loonies! Ooooohhh So HOT!) to donate! It'll make you a better person! You can wear the tutu, too! (strangely, they didn't make much eye contact after that...)

So, it's all even in the end.
Be a doll and check out Tutus for Tanner. If you can, help them raise the funds to allow this very sweet, very sick boy be able to spend the rest of his life at home instead of a hospital.

Hope everyone in NY for BlogHer is having a GREAT time without me. No! Really. I mean it. I hope the humidity isn't too crushing or oppressive. I hope that the traffic isn't too aggravating and that nobody gets sick from all of the free martinis that I won't be drinking.

A way to add your 2 cents...

I know that most of us are in a tight spot right now. But if you can spare a dollar or 2 (or more) for a newly divorced mom of 2 who is really suffering (financially and emotionally), please head over to my long-time blogging friend's blog. Gwen of Gwendomamma could really use the boost from the blogosphere...

Can you add your spare Paypal change to help out?