The drama!

Oh, the drama! As I was baking my Amish Friendship bread* at 8:30 tonight (because I hate to think of all of that time mushing the bag WASTED simply because I waited an extra day), burning within my own inner world of angst and hormonal pissiness, Corinne walked up beside me and started rubbing her eyes on the towel. After a few minutes, I noticed that she was crying!

"What's wrong, baby?!?"

"It's just not my daaaayyy!!"

"Did something happen?"

"Noooo!!! I'm just saaaaaaaadddd!!"

"Did someone hurt your feelings?"

"NO, Mommy! I don't know WHY I'm sad; I just AM!!!"

(Absolutely pitiful and heart-breaking stuff, here, folks.)

I hefted her 40-odd pounds onto my hip and stroked my gooey hands down her Ariel pajamas. All I could picture was 10 years in the future with REAL hormones and REAL emotional fluctuations... Can't hardly wait for THAT!

I distracted her with the bowls of dough to mix and she helped me crack eggs and measure sugar. All seemed better for a while so she headed back into the family room with the boys to finish watching the dvr'd American Idol (Yes, it was 9 pm and they weren't even close to being in bed. Just one of those days...).

I was beating the crap out of the batter when she shuffled back into the kitchen, her face absolutely devastated and tears wetting her pj shirt.

"Do you think A still likes me?"

Aha! A is her buddy next door. A is 9 years old and very, VERY cool. She's also one of Corinne's best friends. Apparently there was a misunderstanding of some sort in the backyard today. I don't have all the details because, well, I wasn't there. But the pieced-together version from Evan and Corinne makes the misunderstanding out to be not such a big deal, in my mind. Even though A allegedly said something like "I'm not your friend anymore and I don't care if you're crying!" before she went home. I mean, that's just par for the course with kids; they say rough stuff on Tuesday and (generally) forget all about it by Wednesday! Corinne, however, had been stewing about this ALL day and it was overflowing out of her in my kitchen at 9 pm!

"Would you like to make her a card to let her know that you still want to be her friend?" (In Corinne's world, most problems can be solved with an apology letter).

"Yes... Will you help me with the words?"

So we walked away from the d@mn Friendship bread and made a card for A.


Doesn't that just break your heart?

So, today's lesson for Corinne was that no matter how mad you are at somebody, their feelings can get really hurt if you just walk away without resolving the matter. She went to sleep still feeling sad and is anxious to get the letter to her friend before she leaves for school tomorrow.

The drama of little girls really IS different than that of little boys, isn't it?



* You know what? The Amish aren't on my Top 5 right now, because that bread was In.Con.Venient. Mush the bag, mush the bag. Add the flour, mush the bag. On this day, add more stuff and, oh yeah, Mush the bag. Then separate into bags to pass out to "friends" who will be pissed that they now have to mush a bag for 10 more days! You know what I did? I divided it up for MYSELF and made 4 loaves of bread! Screw my friends!**

** Nah, actually, my neighbors will probably receive 2 of the loaves fully BAKED instead of a lumpy bag of goo and work. Also, I HATE chain letters which is all the Amish Friendship bread really is: Just a glorified, modern-day chain letter...

I wasn't quite ready....

It doesn't mean I don't love them, but I wasn't ready to come home on Monday. I definitely "found myself" again at Indy, but I wasn't happy to return to the other stuff. If anything, that brief snippet of freedom has pushed me down. I long to be sitting alone with Patrick again, just talking and laughing and looking into his eyes...

Especially when I find out that the youngest 2 children were less than well behaved for Grandma. Especially when I just needed something to be easy for a change. It would have been nice to end my short bit of "vacation" with a pleasant report, that's all. I mean, I wasn't happy to be back as it was, let alone to have to be embarrassed at my own kids' behavior the moment I walked through the door.

Today simply continued that fabulous return to reality when Justin absolutely, positively flipped the freak out. Over what? I have no clue. HE has no clue. He even said so. Rather, he sobbed so. Then he blamed his lack of Xbox on his depressed status. That, of course, didn't go over well with me. "The family can't stop for one person" I said, and MADE him go to homeschool club even though he insisted he wouldn't have fun or learn anything while he was there. Funny thing, though; the moment he walked in? He began to help with the art project (shaving crayons to make melted wax paper butterflies). He and 4 other boys put their heads together and created several projects with the boxes that were left over from the butterfly habitats the group created (we're all getting caterpillars soon). And what do you know? They all had a blast. And, (GASP!) maybe even LEARNED something! Even though Justin denied it the moment we left...

And Corinne continued the lovely evening by smacking Evan and involving him in a fight over... I don't know. Does it matter? No. The point is, she went to bed early and I got to sit in my room matching socks for over an hour. Welcome to Reality.

Whatever. I honestly don't care.

I lie. I do care. And because of the public nature of this blog and the people that I know who read it, I cannot go into much more detail about my dark mood. Just let it be said that I am under no illusion that my kids are perfect. THANK GOD. They throw tantrums, and they fight. They question and expect things to be "fair". They are NORMAL. But it still stings when someone else doubts their good aspects or focuses on their bad ones.**

**To clarify as I have hurt the feelings of someone I love deeply: This was NOT referring to my mother-in-law's reports or feelings about her grandkids. This was referring to comments that a random person in my life made that just rubbed me raw after hearing about the kids' actions for Grandma and then Justin's pre-teen angst flip-out. I am not used to having people I know be immediately affected by the blog. Though I have kept my mouth shut on several posts, I see now that I need to make a better effort to be even more discreet and cautious. I apologize....