Another First Milestone

"Miss Tracey, where's Corinne?" asked the neighbor boy who was playing with my kids and about 4 other neighborhood kids in my house on Saturday.

"Hmm? Oh. Um... yeah, she's upstairs or something..." said as I was reading a riveting post or updating a blog or renewing library books online.

"I looked for her, but can't find her." he said.

RED ALERT. Corinne has disappeared! This (sadly) happens more than I care to admit. She is a slippery little stinker who thinks she is 13 instead of 3 with "rights" which include being allowed to come and go as she pleases.

I began to yell for her as I didn't see her in the backyard (my first spot to search when she turns up missing). When she didn't answer my first 3 calls and when my next 2 calls of "You are SCARING MOMMY! WHERE ARE YOUUUUU?!?" I began to truly freak out....

Moments before I called 911, the kids shouted, "She's in the backyard!!"

And she was. There was my darling daughter, swinging without permission. To make things even better, she was in her SWIMSUIT. In her WET swimsuit, as she had gotten changed, left the house without slamming the screen door and went to the neighbors' slip n slide!

Can you say "grounded?" My toddler got GROUNDED for cryin out loud! She spent half an hour on her bed (crying) and then the rest of the night in the house with her nose pressed against the screen door while the entire neighborhood gathered in our backyard for a spontaneous hang-out session. She felt the pain, my friends. I am so overjoyed that she missed out on the fun (including launching rockets at the park with Daddy) because leaving the house unsupervised is NOT COOL.

On a happier note...

Let's be realistic; my life is NOT as bad as it can get. I know that there is always another shoe that can be dropped or thrown with cleats first at my head. So the fact that we are having what some families would consider much more manageable issues isn't too far from my heart. I still have family to provide for us, should we need it. We are all in one piece, able to breathe and run and feel the sun on our faces. I am extremely aware that my life IS a good one. We are just experiencing a very rough, gravel road right now. The pavement will return in a bit. We just have to keep on walking and not give up. On that note...

Things I am grateful for:

~ The sun has arrived and brought the breeze as a friend. The day has been gorgeous and the lilacs are in full bloom. Their scent has been wafting through my house all day. So, even as I sat on the phone with different companies that we owe money to, I was easily calmed. Ahhh... lilacs....

~ I found ways to cut $40 out of our monthly bills simply by making a few calls! Whoot!

~ I have found friends online that have humbled me with their sweetness and generosity. You know who you are... Thank you.

~ Our health insurance kicks in on Monday!! Halleleujah! No injuries until Monday, please God?
(for that matter; no injuries AFTER Monday, either! I need to be specific in my prayers...)

~ My daughter has started to "write" stories and narrate them back to me. Her latest scribbling went something like this:

"Once upon a time, me and my family lived with our happy hearts. We sang a song called "We can never live without you, Corinne." And we were very kind and lived happily ever after with our happy hearts. The End."

I mean, HOW sweet is THAT? The "Happy Hearts" stuff killed me. Later, she said we were living with "happy hearts filled with rainbows." Good Gawd, I had tears in my eyes!

~ The hours may suck, but Patrick has a Job. And that isn't a guarantee these days, so I am extremely grateful for that. The fact that he can also try to sell houses at the same time is a blessing that most families don't have. We actually have a CHANCE to get out of this debt, if the right wheels continue to spin the way they have been spinning...

~ 3 days of school till summer! THAT is the best part. Free days, pool time, swingsets, hot dogs... I love summer. And I love the lazy, open days that are stretching out in front of us...

Is this what partying looks like after 30?

I swear, we weren't passed out the entire time. Well, a few certain folks were, but not ME. I chose to moderate a bit and had an awesome time.
Ah! Awake! 5 of the over 30 that grouped together for the Indy 500. I'm so glad I got to be a part of that group...Apparently, I'm still a hottie. At least to extremely drunken brother-in-laws and their equally smashed best friends who decided that beer bongs weren't just a fun thing to occasionally splurge on...

Dude, he is WAY taller than me.

Pinching pennies till they scream in agony...

So. Any advertisers looking for someone to review FOOD? Anyone? Anyone?

I love the stuff I get to review. Really, I do! It's just that I sure would appreciate reviewing something I NEED right now. Like, um, Food. And gas. Yes. I would love to review a new gas station. Anyone want to send me a gas card for review?? How about shoes for my 10 year old whose toes are pushing up and out of the front of his sneakers? That said, so are my 7 and 3 year olds' feet...

I guess being broke makes for a much more environmentally sound home, right? That said, I must sign off for the DAY as I am trying to cut back on electricity. Yes. It's that tight...

I wasn't quite ready....

It doesn't mean I don't love them, but I wasn't ready to come home on Monday. I definitely "found myself" again at Indy, but I wasn't happy to return to the other stuff. If anything, that brief snippet of freedom has pushed me down. I long to be sitting alone with Patrick again, just talking and laughing and looking into his eyes...

Especially when I find out that the youngest 2 children were less than well behaved for Grandma. Especially when I just needed something to be easy for a change. It would have been nice to end my short bit of "vacation" with a pleasant report, that's all. I mean, I wasn't happy to be back as it was, let alone to have to be embarrassed at my own kids' behavior the moment I walked through the door.

Today simply continued that fabulous return to reality when Justin absolutely, positively flipped the freak out. Over what? I have no clue. HE has no clue. He even said so. Rather, he sobbed so. Then he blamed his lack of Xbox on his depressed status. That, of course, didn't go over well with me. "The family can't stop for one person" I said, and MADE him go to homeschool club even though he insisted he wouldn't have fun or learn anything while he was there. Funny thing, though; the moment he walked in? He began to help with the art project (shaving crayons to make melted wax paper butterflies). He and 4 other boys put their heads together and created several projects with the boxes that were left over from the butterfly habitats the group created (we're all getting caterpillars soon). And what do you know? They all had a blast. And, (GASP!) maybe even LEARNED something! Even though Justin denied it the moment we left...

And Corinne continued the lovely evening by smacking Evan and involving him in a fight over... I don't know. Does it matter? No. The point is, she went to bed early and I got to sit in my room matching socks for over an hour. Welcome to Reality.

Whatever. I honestly don't care.

I lie. I do care. And because of the public nature of this blog and the people that I know who read it, I cannot go into much more detail about my dark mood. Just let it be said that I am under no illusion that my kids are perfect. THANK GOD. They throw tantrums, and they fight. They question and expect things to be "fair". They are NORMAL. But it still stings when someone else doubts their good aspects or focuses on their bad ones.**

**To clarify as I have hurt the feelings of someone I love deeply: This was NOT referring to my mother-in-law's reports or feelings about her grandkids. This was referring to comments that a random person in my life made that just rubbed me raw after hearing about the kids' actions for Grandma and then Justin's pre-teen angst flip-out. I am not used to having people I know be immediately affected by the blog. Though I have kept my mouth shut on several posts, I see now that I need to make a better effort to be even more discreet and cautious. I apologize....

MeMeMeMeMeMe

Is being an adult really just a continuous struggle to prove that you're not "old?" So much of our adulthood seems to incorporate a theme of heralding the days of our youth. I am getting sick of my desire to prove that I am just as fun as I used to be, back "in the days" before the responsibilities and little hands pulling on me became such an overwhelming presence that my duties and my personality have meshed into one entity.

Driving home from dropping off my kids at my mother-in-law's house allowed me more quiet time to think without interruption than I've had in months. Literally, MONTHS. Between Patrick's 2 jobs with weird hours and homeschooling, I am constantly surrounded by people. And most of those people expect me to feed/carry/care/etc. for them. And it is tiring...

This little bit of freedom from the duties and doldrums isn't really something I can fully explain. My hands are empty and my mind is racing through all of the things I could be doing with this unprecedented free time. My mother-in-law asked what I was going to bring in order to not get bored at the races... "Nothing" I said. "I welcome the boredom."

That will be me this weekend. Sitting. Standing. Smiling about nothing. Being quiet. Being loud. Being nobody's mother. Paying nobody's bills. Cleaning after no one but myself. Releasing the duties and allowing my personality to stand alone.

Just... existing.

Bliss.

Friday ramblings and a cookie winner

The Khaya Cookie winner is....


Why do I look drunk?

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~
I swore a bit last night when my plans to pack and clean got interrupted by my second tv/reality contest show. The one I love (could it be) even more than Idol... So You Think You Can Dance? Holy balls, the dancers are phenomenal. I mean, ANYone can get onto American Idol, technically. Most people can carry a tune and you don't HAVE to have professional training to get on the show. But SYTYCD? These people train their entire lives for opportunities like this show. And the things their bodies can do!! Amazing.

So, my bathrooms remain unscrubbed (which, ew. They realllllly need it. As in, I have 2 boys who get distracted when they pee BAD.). And the bag of clothes remains an "idea" that will materialize sometime after schooltime today.

~~~~~

The weather has been gorgeous lately. So much so that my kids were actually on the neighbor's slip and slide a few days ago! So lovely that we have been outside, getting absolutely filthy, every moment we can. Can you see the dirt on their feet, shirts and faces?

I dunked them in a vat of soap last night. Not that it'll make any difference since they'll just go back to the swingset, pour cups of water onto the hard dirt and make mud puddles to splash in and swing over. And then they'll head to the sandbox and make "cakes" all over the yard, dribbling gooey sand onto the drying mud on their legs.

It's like a regular spa in my backyard!

So, what did I choose?!?

I swear I am not a strictly review blog, though the bulk of my posts as of late have been reviews and/or giveaways. However, when this company contacted me with an offer to choose a toy from their site for free to review? I had to say yes! Keep your eyes open because once I get a chance to review my choice, you will get a chance to win it!!

Ah, the lovely perks from blogging....

I'm off to pack.

Eeny Meeny Miney Moe

Ok, this might sound ridiculous, but since the McCormick and Schmick's giveaway had such a small response (why? Huh?) I just did Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe and picked the winner! (Especially since I have had such a hard time posting videos lately).

The winner is Kai! Yay for Kai who regularly flies from NY to Chicago but never comes to visit me, the little brat...

:)

On that note, I am off to pack bags for my kids. Didn't I tell you? My wonderful mother-in-law is taking my children for the weekend while Patrick and I go to Indy 500 with my sister, her hubby and lots of his friends. Honestly, I couldn't care less about cars that are going too fast and banging into each other (that's not very nice, guys!) but a weekend of NO CHILDREN and sitting on a lawn chair drinking wine coolers? With NO KIDS? And no chores? And, did I mention, NO KIDS?

Heaven. Absolutely heaven on Earth....

Just a little bragging post...

Well, I was going to show you all 2 minutes of pure cuteness. A darling video that you ALL would have surely been enraptured by. I mean, my kids are as freaking amazing to everyone else as they are to me, right? RIGHT?

I thought so.

Sorry to say, but Blogger has once again made my life difficult and I can't upload a short video of 3 year olds dancing to "You are My Sunshine." Trust me when I say it brought tears to my eyes to see the 7 little girls that we've spent an entire year in class with doing their best on stage.

Go ahead, let your tears flow. Maybe someday we'll all get a lovely surprise and I will figure out how to upload videos without a techie degree.

I swear, this girl got more flowers for dancing for less than 3 minutes than I got for delivering 3 children!

I guess the priorities of our family are finally clear...

:)

You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll come back for more.

Finally! The post about the Ford Flex. I apologize for all of the nails you must have bitten down in anticipation of my update, but aside from being busier than normal, it has been quite interesting trying to figure out this whole Flip camcorder upload feature. I finally got it (I hope) and simply couldn't spend another minute on the computer (I DO homeschool, you know!) so this version is a little less pretty and a tad bit longer than my original vision would have led you to believe. Still, within its almost 10 minutes (yikes!) you will get to laugh at my inability to look into the camera for more than 1.5 seconds, see Corinne pick her nose (again) and witness a genius marketing/fuel saving epiphany made by yours truly.

What's not to love?

When I asked others what their opinion on the Flex was, I heard everything from "it looks like a hearse!" to "it looks like a Big Mini-Cooper!" So basically? The exterior style is a personal preference or dislike.

Do I like it, you ask? Well, let's all reflect on my current mode of transportation, shall we?

Yes. I drive a conversion van. A gas-guzzling, slightly faded, very crunchy-carpet CONVERSION VAN. So basically, for me, the body of the vehicle isn't of much importance. One could say I am above all of that vanity... Ahem. Well, I don't care what the car looks like as long as I can afford it and it doesn't break down, but who wouldn't prefer all of those details in addition to a nice exterior??

(My poor van. I should be nicer to it. Considering the abuse its taken, it has served me well.)

I digress!! Ford Flex is the topic here, not Dodge vans!

My personal reflections on the Flex:

~ Loved the smart car features. LOVED. The navigational system saved my butt when I drove to the wrong high school for Corinne's ballet pictures. She would have missed out completely, if not for that feature.

~ Loved the skylights, hands' free rear door, reverse drive camera (so I don't run over bikes or kids!) and all of the bells and whistles it had.

~ Didn't care for the 3rd row access. For a family with only 2 children who want to utilize the rear row occasionally, it isn't a big deal to flip the seat forward and climb in and out. But I had the car seat in the rear and a booster in the middle. A pain in the tush after only a week. And if it was snowing or raining? I can only imagine the hassle it would have been to buckle in all 3 kids. If you have more than one small child (in a safety seat) I recommend that you give it a REAL test drive with all of your kids and their seats included. Get a feel for the process of loading them up before making your final choice.

THAT said, if it were Justin and 3 of his friends? We'd have no problem getting in and out. Flipping the seat forward really is easy, if you are old enough to do it yourself. Car pooling would be a snap...

~ The one feature that I do love about my van is the same thing I love about the Flex: you can find it in a parking lot. Its design stands out among all of the mini-vans and silver suv's so picking your own vehicle out of a crowd is never an issue. If you have never had a unique car, you can't understand this appeal. But trust me. It is a blessing to not have to click your door lock button over and over to figure out which silver/black/blue mini van is yours.



Wow. It took me about 18 hours to upload that video!! SERIOUSLY. I need to use OneTrue Media or something next time. This is the second video that I have tried to upload in the past 2 days that wouldn't load up without hogging my computer!!

ANYWAY. I hope this post helps someone's decision regarding the Flex. It really is a unique car and I am so honored that I got to try it out!

Sunday

Today is Corinne's dance recital. While we are watching her smile and twirl, this boy's parents are worrying over their son's life and also religious rights. What is your opinion? Where do you think the line is that cannot be crossed?

Where does their power end?

Originally posted at the former Chicago Moms Blog on May 17, 2009

Where does their power end? Daniel Hauser FORCED treatment for Hodgkin's Disease

How does this sound constitutional? How does this sound like free will and religious freedom?

If you haven't heard already, if Daniel Hauser, age 13 who has Hodgkin's Disease, is found to have what the doctors consider "treatable cancer," he will be forced to undergo treatments deemed necessary by the hospital. If the parents refuse to subject him to their medical treatments, Daniel will be taken from their custody and placed in temporary custody.

Really? REALLY?

If I were to refuse medical treatment for myself, would I be forced to undergo medical procedures? What if I said I understood the details and percentages, but the doctors thought I wasn't competent enough? As adults, we have the "freedom" to decide what we want done to our bodies. So if a 13 year old boy decides he wants to refuse chemotherapy due to religious convictions, who are we to say that he is wrong? Which religions are "real religions" and which are "cults?" Who are the government officials to say that it's okay to worship the idea of a man dying and coming back to life in 3 days, but that the "natural healing" of the Nemenhah band are ludicrous and unworthy of their respect?

Those who practice medicine are not infallible. In fact, you need only to read the words, "PRACTICING medicine" to realize that they do NOT know all of the answers. They are playing a guessing game of levels and treatments. Doctors hold the knowledge that is equivalent to a thimbleful of an ocean. It IS some knowledge, but only a miniscule portion of what is available!

I am not saying that the chemotherapy and radiation won't cure this particular boy of his Hodgkin's lymphoma. If you're have to have cancer, Hodgkin's is one of the ones you would prefer as its cure rate is much higher than that of other more aggressive cancers. Chances are, he would survive the chemo and radiation treatments.

But where does our government's ability to make our medical choices FOR US end? Where does it stop? IF a treatment WERE found to have a 100% cure ratio, would we all be forced to accept that treatment? Could the government extend this ability to have a say in our children's medical treatments eventually grow so much as to one day force us to immunize, sterilize, and euthanize?

For me, this isn't about neglect. This is a basic human rights and religious freedom issue. My heart goes out to Daniel and his family, that they have to undergo this legal circus at a time such as this. My family, as well as many others, has not remained untouched by the devastation that is cancer. May Daniel's family's rights not be overlooked by those who deem themselves more worthy of an opinion than anyone else.

Always looking for a silver lining...

Geez. I should offer cookies more often.

What a day today has been. The mood inside has matched the rain that currently streaks the windows and fills the ditches that were dug by plastic shovels... Basically, drippy and mucky.

And yet, I can see the rain letting up and know that these problems are temporary. All of life is temporary. The good and the bad. The rain always stops. The summer always returns.

None of the major issues we are experiencing will be noticeable in 5 or 10 years. Just your general, run of the mill financial fun stuff. Pretty common, nowadays. Hopefully, they will simply be a distant memory of a less than perfect time...

I hope that this weekend brings our family some much needed smiles. Corinne will flit across the stage in yellow and black polka-dots. My mother will meet her with flowers for dancing like a star and my mother-in-law will treat my family to pizza (a treat that I haven't had in ages and ages... Oh, how I miss you, pizza!).

Plenty of chances to see a couple of rainbows...

Free Cookies!

Because who doesn't like cookies? That's what I'd like to know. (Yes. I read Junie B. books way too often.)

I was asked to review a unique company called The Khaya Cookie Company. This company is dedicated to providing handmade, organic treats created by previously unemployed men and women in Khayelitsha, South Africa.




Honestly, all of that goodwill wasn't necessary to make me agree to review COOKIES for cryin out loud! But it sure did intrigue me to read more about this incredible company. If only more people were like the founder, Alicia Polak.

My family was ecstatic when I opened the box and we had 5 bags of cookies to choose from. Though the price is more than we can afford, this particular type of cookie is marketed as a gourmet treat, which I hope to be able to afford again... eventually! While my kids didn't personally care for the granola krunchi cookies, the shortbreads were all really addictive. In fact, I believe I may have hidden the Cranberry Rooibos in my dresser drawer so that they wouldn't be inhaled by anyone but myself....

Ahem.

In the meantime, you all are eligible to receive 3 free boxes of Khaya cookies to sample for youself! Simply comment below, and I'll pull the winner on Friday, May 22. Enter 2nd and 3rd comments for subscribing to my blog and for posting about this giveaway on your own blog!

**FYI, "subscribing" means getting my blog through a feed reader like Google Reader or Bloglines... :)

Don't forget to enter the McCormick & Schmick's giveaway this week as well!

Lesson learned: Patting your own back can lead to a broken arm...

We headed off to Corinne's ballet pictures, Right On Time! Hair done. Shoes, hat, and dinner for afterwards packed into a cooler. All kids' teeth brushed and we were even EARLY!!

"I rock!" I must admit, I did think this to myself a few times...

You'd think I'd learn...

Apparently, not.

It wasn't until I saw the sign on the high school we were headed into that said "South High School" that I realized we wanted our town's NORTH high school for ballet pictures... DANG!!

Enter the Flex's ability to magically tell me where the North high school was. Unfortunately, it was on, well, the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN. (funny how that works...)

After listening to our teeny tiny guide in a box tell me where to turn, we bolted inside the NORTH high school and I threw Corinne at her dance instructor with the form (filled out. THANKFULLY) so that I could turn around and sprint back to the car to grab the ballet shoes that were still on my front seat.

I panted and straggled inside (I need to work out. I am old.) and somehow managed to continue looking like a ditz the entire photo shoot, but survived long enough to change Corinne into her jeans behind her brothers backs (in the hall!) and then get Evan into his soccer gear for practice.

Feeling a little more organized, we arrived at practice 45 minutes early on purpose. We ate our strawberries, Cheerios and fruit chews while playing at the park until we had to head to the soccer field portion of the park. It wasn't until I noticed that the soccer fields were BARREN that I remembered a crucial point; Evan has soccer on Wednesdays. Justin has soccer on TUESDAYS.

@#%@#%!!!

Seriously?

Seriously.

This is my life, folks. And my life includes Justin playing soccer 20 minutes late in his sandals.

Fine. Whatever. He played well and all was forgiven. We pulled out of practice only to have Corinne awaken from her short and spontaneous nap in the back seat. Screaming. Like a banshee. The entire drive home! This, of course, prompted Justin's "noise issues" so we now had 2 screaming children in the car. FUN! Yay for Mommyhood!!

When I unbuckled her at home, I realized what she had been bawling about; the poor baby had woken up only to have an accident in her car seat! She was mortified, to say the least.

Carried the soaking 3 year old upstairs. Washed her, changed her, Evan made her happy ("Can you knock me out, Rinny? How hard can you hit me?"). Flipped on American Idol and we all watched 3 very talented singers do a great job. Voted for Kris and Adam and sent them upstairs to brush teeth and get dressed while I straightened up downstairs.

Big mistake. Huge.*

Somewhere in the middle of reading The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe to Justin, Corinne announced,

"Mommy! There's water raining in the family room!"

This was just too unique to be a childish fantasy, so I raced downstairs. Sure enough, water was pouring into our family room from a crack in the ceiling!

In between voting for our idols and reading C.S. Lewis, Corinne had flooded the upstairs sink. Hot water, nonetheless!

The water is sopped up and I believe the damage is minimal. That ceiling needed a painting desperately, anyway, but I wish I didn't have additional stains on it. Especially since painting the ceilings isn't anywhere near being in our budget...

I am off to see what awaits me on my dvr. I need a girl show. I think I have the new Medium recorded to watch... Yes. That and a glass of wine should make everything better....


*Name that movie! Come on Stacey!

Speaking Literally

It was another typical day for Evan. Recently, his attitude and mouth have gotten a little too big for his britches (love that phrase). After listening to yet another rude response to my request, he was sent to his room. (Ok, that is a nice way of saying he was in the backyard, yelling at me and I was at the back door yelling at him and all the neighbors were wondering at the banshee who can't control her child.)

I let that kid stew for quite some time. I smugly did the dishes, straightened up and then FINALLY strolled upstairs to do a lengthy lecture. I shook my finger and had very angry eyebrows as I reminded him that I AM THE QUEEN and what I say IS the Final Answer.

"I expect an apology, young man. A very long apology where you tell me why you're sorry and what you won't do again."

"Sorry."

"Oh no! I said a LONG APOLOGY! A loooooong one, kiddo."

Confused, he scrunched his face and smoke began to puff out of his ears from the concentration. With complete seriousness he tried to accommodate my specifications:

"Sooooorrrrrrryyyyy?"

Twitch.

Twitch, twitch.

Snort and snuffle. Keep your shit together! DO NOT LOSE IT!


I lost the battle and the tears flowed as we laughed our heads off.

Yet again, Evan's cuteness saved his butt.

Wonder how long that will work for him?

McCormick & Schmick's giveaway!

Like to eat? If so, I've got a giveaway for you!!

McCormick & Schmick's is offering a lunch special of 10 menu items for $10 or less and I have been asked to pick a winner to receive a $10 gift certificate to participate in this deal! You lucky Chicago people...

Their menu is varied and may change periodically, so you never know what the specials will be. But the 10 for $10 menu usually carries dishes such as:

Soup, Salad or Sandwich Combo
Cup of Soup with Choice of Salad or 1/2 Sandwich

Oregon Bay Shrimp & Angel Hair Pasta
Fresh Bay Shrimp, Broccoli & Sun Dried Tomatoes

SW Chipotle Chicken Salad Wrap
with Mixed Greens, Avocado and Roasted Peppers

Salmon Penne
with Wild Mushrooms, Hazelnuts and Sherry Cream

Smoked Turkey Club
on Sourdough with Chipotle Mayonnaise

Reuben Sandwich
Thousand Island Dressing and Sauerkraut

Coconut Shrimp Salad
with Oranges, Papayas and Mango Vinaigrette

Cod Sandwich
Beer Battered with
Tartar Sauce

Grilled Chicken Chop Salad
with Feta, Kalamata Olives and Cucumber

Grilled Salmon Ciabatta
served with Herbed Shallot Mayonnaise

Annnnnnd, now I'm hungry. Great.


So comment away. Since this giveaway affects a smaller region, you can leave 2 comments, and an extra one for either or both of the following: follow my blog and post about this on your own blog.

Giveaway ends on Tuesday, May 19

Edited to add: Any state can win!

A Journey Worth Taking....

Mother's Day 2008

It never fails. Gather a group of women together, and eventually, the talk turns to birth stories. Epidurals, hours pushing, how many stitches, home birth or hospital, adoption processes and when you finally started sleeping through the night; no topic is taboo.

Men don't understand it...

Getting FLEXible...

I spent the day pushing buttons, opening and closing 5 skylights, and giggling when the teeny lady in the magical box told me to turn left in .2 miles...


I am reviewing the Ford Flex this week! Here's my really crummy picture taken late in the afternoon: I realized I hadn't taken any still shots all day, though I HAD taken tons of video on the new Flip camera Ford gave me to record my "adventures.!" Though by "adventures", I'm not sure they meant driving to WalMart and almost getting hit by the teenager down the street. (Stinkin teenage drivers! Kids these days! Grrrrr!!!) Of course, I was able to "Flip" that situation (bwaaaahaaaa!) by commenting that "Dang! These brakes work wonderfully!"

I can't wait to edit this week's footage and make something reeeeellly reeeeellly mahvelous. Prepare to be utterly WOWed.

That is all.

2 completely opposite topics in 1 fabulous post.

Yawning...

Yet another bout with insomnia.

There are a lot of theories on how to get yourself back to sleep. Some are fabulous. One that I would NOT recommend, though? Catching up on Oprah on your DVR. I figured, the shows are long and not action-packed, so I could doze off in the midst of Tonya Harding explaining yet again that she had no knowledge of the plans to hurt Nancy Kerrigan prior to the attack. 3 episodes later, and all that resulted was the itching desire to sterilize every surface in my house (killer staph infections! Flesh-eating bacteria!! AAAAaaahhhh!!!!), force Patrick write a journal to the kids, and to check out this guy's blog.

Next time, I'll just give into the early rising time and blog. The stress associated with Oprah is too intense for me!

~~~

We attended Patrick's grandmother's funeral yesterday. I was very proud of the boys. For 2 kids who never attend church, they were silent the entire time and did all of the processes. I think it helped that within moments of the priest's entrance into the cathedral, Corinne promptly declared (loudly) that she did not like that room and wanted out... NOW! So I stood in the hall beside the open door while she played quietly with the cracks on the marble walls. This meant that they were in the church alone, with no adult to whine or complain to. (Patrick was up front with his father). After the service, Justin proclaimed that the service must have taken 2 hours (it was 50 minutes) and that the priest couldn't make up his mind to stand up or sit down or kneel or sing. He was very put out by that until at the burial site, the priest paused his readings to bless Justin after he sneezed. All of the indecision during the mass was forgiven.

The passing of someone I loved is always a time for me to reflect upon life, death, and priorities. It's also a time for kids to ask a multitude of questions. I am awaiting Evan's contemplations today. He is extremely sensitive and was very quiet yesterday. It is quite strange for an adult to stand beside a deceased person. I can only imagine what was going through Evan's 7 year old, black and white brain. He will be looking for concrete answers, and when I don't give him the ones he is looking for? Well, it will be interesting. Let's just leave it at that. I definitely plan on revisiting my theories on God and eternity with him. But his 1 year of a Christian preschool with a teacher who "knew the answers" is still holding a strong grip on him. (It was a nice school! And all they did was occasionally mention Jesus and bow their heads before snacktime!) My loose and evolving theories about our souls, doesn't usually match his expectations. He wants an ANSWER, not a theory followed up with "What do you think?"

I do believe he was given to me to make me stronger and more open...

The nicest kid in the world, eh?

Oh, the drama of a playground!

While Justin had his soccer practice last night, Evan and Corinne and I went to the park right next to his field. There were several other children playing and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Until...

Enter teeny weeny bully and accomplice...

Honestly, at the first glance, they appeared quite normal; sneakers, shorts, mops of hair, mostly clean. Both boys were about 5 years old and Evan was honored to be the oldest man on the totem pole. Surrounded by younglings, he took charge of a game of tag.

Anyone with kids knows where this is going, right? Yep. The "tags" became "pushes" and the crying was imminent. The two boys were pushing on top of the playground, making me very nervous. I intervened and told Evan he couldn't play tag anymore because some of the kids were taking it too far. I told him if he got pushed too much, he would push back, and then HE would get into trouble because he was so much older than everyone else.

"Oh, okay."

The kids all began doing random tricks including climbing up the slide while other kids are sliding down the slide. (lovely game) Evan asked if he could take off his shoes like the 2 little boys so that he could climb up the slide as fast as they were.

"Sorry, but no. This is a public park and the mulch has random stuff in it. It could have glass and you'd never know it..."

"But Mommmeeee!! They have their shoes off! They said I'm a loser if I can't climb as fast as them!!" Insert crying here. Evan is extremely dramatic, but doesn't usually make up lies like that. He went on (through tears) describing how he was a loser because they said so and they were making fun of him. He then took it up a notch to,

"You ruin everything! I AM a LOSER! You just want me to be a LOSER!!!"

Ok. I was sympathetic up until this point. At that point, he was sent to the van and we had a lovely conversation (ha) about how you are giving someone else the power to make you feel bad simply by reacting to their words. Blah, blah, blah. All that motherly stuff you're supposed to say but kids never really understand (and really? I don't either. Words DO hurt...) We also got to talk about how he IS NOT ALLOWED to talk to me like that. Again. I am becoming a pro at THAT conversation!

Meanwhile, my angel in pigtail braids had been climbing the jungle gym with the other children. In the midst of calming Evan down with a Junie B. book, I hear her crying hysterically at the top of the playground. I dashed outside, but realized she wasn't hurt as she ran to me.

"They said I was a BABY! Those boys! Those mean boys kept calling me a BABY!!"

The ultimate slam against a 3 1/2 year old is to call her a BABY. She is a big girl, thankyouverymuch.

"ARE you a baby?"

"NO!"

"Then you just tell them 'If you say so. I know I'm NOT a baby.' and don't play with them anymore."

Oh, the horror! She was devastated and would not return to the park. We all retreated into the van for cuddles and more conversations about how words DO hurt so we shouldn't talk that way to other people. We continued with the Junie B. book and waited for Justin to finish practice.

Here's where a funny twist came into play.

I never realized that my windows were open and so were the windows of all 3 cars in the row. Basically, everyone in every car heard my kids' cries and our conversations (in addition to my rendition of Junie B. yelling from a school bus... Yay.) I finally noticed all of the openness when the mother in the car beside me yelled for her son. (not one of the bullies)

"Get over here! I saw you pushing him. You are done for the night. Get in the car!" Her little boy was actually nice, but he was pushing one of the bully boys, probably because they had been annoying and mean for the past 45 minutes.

The father in the car next to hers leaned out his window to join in her reprimanding of her son:

"That's my son he was pushing. I just don't understand it! Kids are always gravitating to him, pushing him, and hitting him. I don't know why! He's just the nicest kid in the world!!" He went on and on, repeating the same line.

I actually had to stop myself from getting out of the car. I had witnessed these boys not only calling everyone on the playground names and telling each other to "shut up" and "you can't play with us!" to pushing kids down the slide, throwing one kid's flip flops, and just random, mean playground stuff. AND his dad had to have heard my own kids' sad cries, including the conversations we had.

And his dad was oblivious.

I know my own kids have their faults. I won't list them here. Trust me when I say my kids aren't perfect and were this not a permanent record of their actions, I would list their pros and cons. But I hope that I am never so unobservant that I wouldn't think that they could possibly have a legitimate part in a fight!

Is it still an 80's flashback if you can't remember the 80's that well to begin with?

I am sitting here at 10 pm listening to a variety of 80's songs, thanks to Mr. Lady's post about her poor hubby's reproductive death. Sadly, my weak, exhausted brain couldn't focus on more than the title of her post, referencing "Don't you want me Baby?" . I simply had to google it and watch it on You Tube. One thing led to another, as a random You Tube search is wont to do, and I found myself listening to Men at Work, (love the kangaroo hops!) and a Cyndi Lauper compilation that just spoke to me. (yes. I have been drinking. It is Sunday night and Patrick is WORKING AGAIN. Tell me you wouldn't be knocking back a wine cooler or two? Eh? I thought not.) Seriously though. She rocked. I love a woman who is able to dress however the hell she wants.

Onward!

I love 80's music. And their videos are so much more fun than the ones today! Do we even HAVE music videos anymore? Am I that old that I have no idea what is on MTV nowadays?

The funniest part? I was born in 1976. And I didn't get "into" music until I was at least, oh, 12? I can distinctly remember listening to UB40's version of Red, Red, Wine in my bedroom on my brand new "boom box." (the small, cheap version. Remember those? The ones with a cassette player, big clunky buttons, an antenna and a large, circular speaker. I was SO proud!) So all of these 80's songs I didn't really "hear" until I was in high school. In the 90's....

Even better still, is the fact that I am going to hold this post off until MONDAY night because I want to have a day off from posting. Not that I feel obligated. Not by any means. But I wanted my daughter's beautiful leaping picture to be on the front page just a tad longer.

Also, I am feeling a bit melancholy over the loss of Patrick's grandma on his dad's side. She was well up until recently and went downhill quite rapidly. We are both feeling sad that she's gone but sadder still that we didn't get to see her much these past 5 years. She did get to meet all 3 of our children and was extremely active and lively all of her years... Still. There is some guilt in my heart that we didn't make more of an effort. Another reason for the wine cooler? Perhaps...

Hug your family and call a relative you haven't spoken to in a while. Do it today, ok?

It's official: Spring is here to stay.

I worried that Corinne would be sad today. That she would be lonely while Patrick and the boys went to a Cub scout bowling party. Instead? My daughter has been outside with her friends, oblivious to the fun she is "missing out on."

~~~

Could anything ever be as happy as a little girl on a spring day? She runs with a blue popsicle. Dripping, no doubt, down her "beautiful" purple dress. "You bought this dress just for ME, Mommy?!? I LOVE IT!" (Thank you, clothing sale, for $2 dresses to make my daughter's face light up so brightly.)

Shrieking with neighborhood children, they run from yard to yard, every single foot amongst them stained jade green. The freshly mown grass will not be forgotten until baths tonight!

"Oooh! A spider! A baby spider, Mama! Look!!"

"I see it, baby! I see it." How could I not? They're everywhere. Tiny butts held up high as they shoot their webs to fly away. Far, far away, hopefully...

Her hair has already lightened from the increased sun exposure. Soon it will have brilliant streaks of white-blond layered against her pink cheeks. Soon the daily applications of mud it receives will stand out even more, and I will have to be more diligent about regularly washing her hair...

I love this house. I love our neighborhood. I love that my children have such fun, only yards from the safety of home.

Random whines and other pithy details...

Do not compare. Do not compare. You are who you are. And you are definitely good enough!

I'm like a regular life coach to myself, lately. I mean, I know I am doing a decent job. I have taken on a whole new, FULL-TIME job of teaching the kids. I have practically all of the household chores to myself now (and feel excessively guilty for even thinking of asking Patrick to carry something heavy to the basement. I mean, he's only home for a handful of hours each week, working 2 jobs, trying to get us out of debt, and I'm asking him to carry winter coats because they're too heavy for my pitiful self? Pathetic.). I have managed to get the kids to not only stay afloat but to turn one of the first corners in homeschooling which is learning because they're interested. The house isn't falling apart around me (anymore) and I DID clean the hall closet out! No more winter coats! No more snow boots next to sandals! I rock!

But the one thing I have let slip? My efforts on this blog.

It's true. Don't deny it. (Well, ok. Please deny it and pat me on the back a little bit. I sure could use the encouragement...) My posts have been fluffy and pitty-pat as of late. My one release to record my emotions and I am usually so exhausted by the time I sit down that I end up typing mediocre reviews and silly picture posts.

Sigh...

Hang on. I need some ice cream...

~~~
I'm back. It's amazing how much better you feel with a bowl of Neopolitan and chopped bananas...

So, the kids and I watch Bridge to Terabithia tonight. I had read the book, yes, yes. I knew what happened at the end. But I somehow hoped that it wasn't quite as horribly heart-wrenching as I remembered from my pre-teen years. Maybe they would save little Leslie from drowning? Maybe his dad would get a job that paid enough for Jess to buy BOY shoes and everyone would live happily ever after?? Please?

Dang it. The girl drowns, he's poor, and Justin and I were bawling on opposite ends of the couch. Corinne was asking "Why'd she die? Why are dey sad? Why are YOU cryin, Mommy?" and Evan was insistent that she could have lived, even after hitting her head, if only she'd just stood up in the river.

Good times.


Man, THAT topic certainly didn't cheer me up much! Sheesh. No wonder I'm all melancholy tonight. I need to pick my movies more carefully.

~~~
Good ice cream...
~~~
Well I STILL haven't watched Lost yet, so I am off to curl up in my empty bed (after I push the STILL unfolded laundry onto the floor AGAIN) and eat my ice cream by myself. Though I'm sure Corinne will pad into my room in a few hours. She's a good foot warmer...