Yet another bout with insomnia.
There are a lot of theories on how to get yourself back to sleep. Some are fabulous. One that I would NOT recommend, though? Catching up on Oprah on your DVR. I figured, the shows are long and not action-packed, so I could doze off in the midst of Tonya Harding explaining yet again that she had no knowledge of the plans to hurt Nancy Kerrigan prior to the attack. 3 episodes later, and all that resulted was the itching desire to sterilize every surface in my house (killer staph infections! Flesh-eating bacteria!! AAAAaaahhhh!!!!), force Patrick write a journal to the kids, and to check out this guy's blog.
Next time, I'll just give into the early rising time and blog. The stress associated with Oprah is too intense for me!
We attended Patrick's grandmother's funeral yesterday. I was very proud of the boys. For 2 kids who never attend church, they were silent the entire time and did all of the processes. I think it helped that within moments of the priest's entrance into the cathedral, Corinne promptly declared (loudly) that she did not like that room and wanted out... NOW! So I stood in the hall beside the open door while she played quietly with the cracks on the marble walls. This meant that they were in the church alone, with no adult to whine or complain to. (Patrick was up front with his father). After the service, Justin proclaimed that the service must have taken 2 hours (it was 50 minutes) and that the priest couldn't make up his mind to stand up or sit down or kneel or sing. He was very put out by that until at the burial site, the priest paused his readings to bless Justin after he sneezed. All of the indecision during the mass was forgiven.
The passing of someone I loved is always a time for me to reflect upon life, death, and priorities. It's also a time for kids to ask a multitude of questions. I am awaiting Evan's contemplations today. He is extremely sensitive and was very quiet yesterday. It is quite strange for an adult to stand beside a deceased person. I can only imagine what was going through Evan's 7 year old, black and white brain. He will be looking for concrete answers, and when I don't give him the ones he is looking for? Well, it will be interesting. Let's just leave it at that. I definitely plan on revisiting my theories on God and eternity with him. But his 1 year of a Christian preschool with a teacher who "knew the answers" is still holding a strong grip on him. (It was a nice school! And all they did was occasionally mention Jesus and bow their heads before snacktime!) My loose and evolving theories about our souls, doesn't usually match his expectations. He wants an ANSWER, not a theory followed up with "What do you think?"
I do believe he was given to me to make me stronger and more open...
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