A very long post with way too many pictures and links...

COMPLETELY out of order of appearance, some of my new best friends for life. Whether they like it or not. Muwaaahaaaahaaaaa.....

Vodkamom aka. Deb. She really is as nice in person as she is online. And I was happy to meet someone shorter than I am. Deb was also extremely tolerant of me as I latched onto her awesome connections. Thanks for inviting me to join you, hon. I love you, and I hope we get to meet again. Vodkamom's quote from BlogHer: "Geek is the new black."
Only slightly intoxicated the Cheeseburgher party from martinis at the ice cream party. (try figuring THAT one out. Ice cream cakes and martinis....) Good GAWD it was hot in the burger party, especially once Kelly and I arrived. (wink) Kelly is ALSO just as nice as you think she is, despite her tendency to misplace valuable photography equipment, teach her son the incorrect final letter to the alphabet, and to eat the leftovers from room service trays.*Don't Scream! It's ok!! I know she's terribly frightening, but Scary Mommy, aka Jill, is much nicer than her name leads you to believe. We didn't get to get too drunk together, but I will always remember how we tried to nonchalantly sneak out of the final key note speech (zzzzzzzzz...) through a locked door. Muy suave.Coolness. Beyond hot and coolness here. Nothing screams "Women to Take Seriously" louder than a bunch of mothers in princess crowns. Megan, Erin, Cynthia, and Cara - I had a really great time with ya. These chicks were some of the only people I saw consistently, which means I got to know them much better than most people at the conference. I am still wondering if they actually LIKED having me around or if they just weren't very apt at hiding from me. Christina and I didn't actually get to talk this time! What the hell, girl? You looked gorgeous, btw. Maybe next time we can have a real conversation? :)The Mysterious Marinka... The Question of the Weekend: "Where's Marinka?" I honestly have no idea why, but I was asked that question repeatedly which is extremely funny (maybe only to me?) as I didn't realize I was supposed to keep tabs on her whereabouts. Thankfully, I learned my lesson and implanted a microchip in her scalp when she was distracted by her delicious hamburger by the river.... I can now answer that question via a constant satellite feed on my computer. Go ahead; Ask me. Where's Marinka????Maria has an enormous heart and surprised me with her sweet nature in person. Not that I thought she was as hard-core as her blog presents her as, but I DID think she would be a BIT rougher around the edges. I mean, I actually saw the Immoral Matriarch cover her face in a blush not once, but TWICE! Isn't that sweet? She's a doll. She DID freak me out a bit when she woke in the middle of the night, slapping the crap out of herself. It was only the next morning, when I saw her slapping her new tattoo, that I realized she wasn't into self-brutality. Her tat was just itchy.

My other roommate, Tara. I will forever remember her as the first girl I ever paid money to sleep with (Maria is the second It was a bizzzeeee weekend). Tara can rock a hat in a dress like no other, even while molesting sugary unicorns (do you have any pics of that, Tara?). Also, her eyes may just be even bluer than mine. Gorgeous, right?
Ahhh, Elisa. Elisa, Elisa, Elisa. My new buddy who's moving to Switzerland. Elisa and I managed to meet each other at every party, meal and seminar, completely by accident. (For real. Though she's gorgeous enough to stalk, for sure!) She's a sweetheart and I wish her the best in her move.
It was so good to put a 3-dimensional face to Pauline. Also, she smells GREAT. Pauline really is classy even while drinking chardonnay from a plastic cup and convincing her mom on the phone that she had enough cleavage showing. That? Is CLASS my friends.Meanwhile, Cindy Fey is the sort of person you want to have around to help you boost your ego. She complimented me so much, my hat wouldn't fit. Talk about a kind heart! Cindy, you are so sweet, and each time I see you I like even more.
See this face? Seeing this face right here made the trip worth the cost. Kristin, aka Kristabella of Full of Snark approached me after a session with the phrase, "I think I know you...." Yes. We did. We DO. But not from blogging. No, Kristin and I knew each other from about 15 years ago. We worked together in her dad's business before she went to college in Arizona. I have gone through her most recent posts and she is a RIOT. Kristin, you rock. I am so thrilled to have reconnected with you, and Patrick says hello as well. (I'm sorry I cried, but I loved your dad. He was a kind-hearted man and I'll always regret not having had a better goodbye for him...)Well. Now that I'm weepy AGAIN (I really am a sappy person) I would like to send a shout-out to a new person I can't wait to stalk, Mandi! Mandi feels responsible because I started crying while talking about my What Not To Wear post. (Seriously.) But hon, I meant it when I said I can cry over little shit. Don't take it to heart. Also, maybe you should room with ME next time because that other roommate of yours had some questionable habits. Am I right? **Here is that questionable roommate, now! This pic doesn't do justice to the quality of the gesticulations Kelly had going on as she was defending her version of the room service food debacle to Jim, aka BusyDad. Jim is one of the few people I was a little nervous about meeting, mainly because I really enjoy his blog (who doesn't?) but also because he's vaginally challenged. Add to that the fear that his wife will put me on "the list" if I were to admit that I kind of drunk-stalked him on Thursday night. (He has no idea about that. Please keep it on the down-low) Whether or not he really knew who the hell I was or not doesn't matter. Because he was acting as though he did, so I'm just going to roll with that idea.Julie - She's NOT "angry". She's just a deceptively cute blogger who could totally kick your ass with a smile. And your ass. Yours too. No shit. ;) Don't you love her flower?
(Please ignore my glassy eyes. I was only moderately wasted) Stacey, you rock my world. Thank you so much for extending your friendship to me. Whenever I was floundering a bit, you seemed to be there to invite me to join you and your group. And even though you are a size 2 after less than a month postpartum, I still love you.
CaraBeeeeeeee! I had a blast with you. Cara and her roomies were so kind to me. Truly. I'll never forget it, babe. I got your back, should you ever need me. (hits fist to chest and sky)
Speaking of roomies, there they are again! Erin, Megan, Cara and Cynthia. Mah bitches.
Jen and I didn't get to talk much, but I adore her blog. Also? She's quite adorable IRL. Muwah.Damn, sister soldier! I do believe you were following me! I am hoping you DO place more value on your work, hon. Your designs rock and people luv you. (Anyone need a new blog design? Better email Cynthia NOW before she jacks up her lowball prices.) I may just take you up on your offer, even if it was a drunken offer. An offer's an offer, babycakes. Wink, wink.

The swag I kept. There was a lot of stuff people tried to get you to bring home. But honestly, I don't need things in my house that I DON'T NEED. The goodies I WAS thrilled about? Some computer thingies for memory (what are those called again? Flashers? Yes? No? Ok. I was just told it is a flashDRIVE but I like "Flashers" better and will now begin my crusade to change the name.), 6 Strawberry Shortcake dolls (sadly, they're all the same, but I hid them before Corinne could see them. As I packed them into my closet with the free Mrs. Potato Head and Spiderman audio-book, I was ticking off future presents: Christmas for daughter, niece, other niece, Evan... SCORE!), and coupons for FREE food instead of money off. Happy, happy day it will be as I walk into the store and get 2 free Starbucks ice creams...

There are about 30 other women (and another man! Hi, Lou!) that I want to include here, but I don't have pictures of them, so they must not really exist. Right Issa? I left BlogHer happy that I went, but remorseful that I missed a good friend's wedding and a trial for my husband. (THAT story? Requires a bit more time to digest. Oy.) If I ever have the opportunity to attend again (cough.Sponsors and Advertisers please email me. cough.), I will go with a more open mind regarding the seminars (and a better list of cell numbers).

*For the record, she wasn't eating from the tray. It was a misunderstanding that Kelly was embarrassed by but kept repeating to everyone. It was quite humorous as the more she drank, the more she denied it. Me thinks thou dost protest too much!

**I really don't think she protests too much.

***I didn't actually have a spot in the post with 3 asterisks, but this is my blog and I can do what I want. My favorite remark of the weekend: "You're much prettier in person! And smaller, too!" Which I do believe was supposed to be a compliment except that it makes me wonder at just how ugly and fat I look online? :)