A fun little video...

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Read my post all about Legoland at The Chicago Moms!

What to choose, what to choose...

I love working with CSNStores.com as a contact for furthering their company's exposure! This month I get to shop at their online stores again! I don't know exactly what I will choose, but if I needed more closet space, I might consider one of these lovely wardrobes . I have also been considering starting on our Christmas lists and picking up one of these cool scooters for Corinne...

The possibilities truly are endless and I have always found their site to be easy to use, quality products, and extremely fast delivery. Check 'em out!

Road Trip!!

When your mother-in-law asks to take you and the kids on an overnight field trip to your state capitol? Do it. It will be so much fun that your kids will be begging to return.

We went to Springfield, IL on Monday/Tuesday of this week to visit a few of the many historical attractions they have to offer. I left on Tuesday afternoon feeling as though we had barely touched the tip of what they have to available!

The Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum was amazing. Dedicated to Lincoln's life and trying to debunk some of the hype that can build around someone who is a martyr, they did a fabulous job of presenting Abraham Lincoln as a human being instead of the famed 16th president who could do no wrong. Their "movies" were completely unique and unexpected. Both have a 4D quality to them without the funny glasses and both were compiled so that the kids understood and absorbed what was being presented but the adults were still intrigued and interested. AWESOME. We also spent a long portion of time in the children's hands on area. All of the kids liked the wooden toys that we had seen in Lincoln's sons' rooms. Corinne cooked at a pioneer's hearth and played dress-up in their period clothing. Evan and I mastered the hoop and stick (it's not as easy as it appears!), and I got caught on film playing with the Lincoln dollhouse. (The furniture was totally in the wrong spots. It HAD to be rearranged!!) It's a definite must-see if you go to Springfield!

We also visited the Lincoln Home and neighborhood from 1860. The visitor center there had another short film that actually covered different material about the Lincolns, so I highly suggest watching the film before heading onto your free tour. We all enjoyed this attraction as well. It's so cool to know that the enormous trees on Lincoln's street were probably just straggly little things when Mr. Lincoln walked beside them... Living in the Prairie State, we don't have tons and tons of historical buildings or sites past 100 years or so. And much of what we have that is "old" isn't built of brick and stone so any tangible history is fewer and farther between out here. Any building over 50 or 60 years old makes me pause but a couple of hundred years just makes me wonder and wonder...

The Old State Capitol and New State Capitol didn't SOUND interesting to me... Until we went there. I recommend doing both buildings and starting with the Old Capitol. You'll walk into the most charming and stately building! The volunteers were thrilled to have us (school's in session and they were quite empty everywhere we went!) and helped us to understand so much about what happened in that building. To know that I have walked upon the floorboards and staircases that so many great politicians once frequented sends chills up my back (I would have an absolute overload if I were to visit the East Coast of the US. And to walk in Boston? Heart attack. I'm a history weirdo). After visiting the Old Capitol, THEN visit the New Capitol, and prepare to be amazed at the comparison. The splendor of the New in comparison to the sedate beauty of the Old is, well, phenomenal. You simply have to see it to believe it.

The kids naturally loved the museums and such. Almost as much as they loved the pizza place and swimming at the hotel.

Almost.

My MIL is the best, is she not?

Because I seriously need to mop...

I am overflowing with things to write about and am seriously under budget on time. SERIOUSLY.

Also? My feet keep sticking to the floor.

And? Justin wore pajama sweats to Corinne's ballet class this morning because I didn't have any clean jeans for him.

Needless to say, I have some slightly pressing matters to take care of today. Let it be said that there WILL be some new and interesting material on my site, eventually!

In the meantime, let's see if I can't find an old post to rivet your attention...

Originally posted on: Friday, February 12, 2010

Can't get no satisfaction?

Recently, a fairly well-known mommy blogger wrote a heartfelt post about the conflict she felt when encountering at-home parents on her lunch breaks from work. She honestly confessed that she feels torn between wanting so desperately to be with her little ones and yet wanting so desperately to enjoy her fabulous, upscale career. The women who jumped up and raised their fists in unison no doubt feel exactly as she does. And I feel for them, I really do. And because that was THEIR space and THEIR rallying war-cry, I didn't feel it was appropriate to write my comment on her post.

Because...

I just want to say, it's ok to say that you like being a stay-at-home mom. It's ok to not jump on the bandwagon and nod your head and say "Hear! Hear, mah sistah!" when another mom talks about how haaaard it is to be at home and how much she misses her "sense of self" that she felt when she was "working." It's OKAY to not agree to being soooo looooonely or soooo unfulfilled or soooo dissatisfied with where your life is at! It's ok to say "You know what? I actually like being home. I actually do feel acknowledged and appreciated (most of the time). Despite the hardships that my job of being a SAHM (who homeschools!) creates, I completely understand that the hardships of being a mom with a job outside of the home are not the lifestyle I wish to live."

Guess what else?

It's ok to say the exact opposite. It's ok to not have to JUSTIFY why you work. It's ok to say that you adore your job and don't fret over your kids when you're at work. It's ok to feel secure about the care they receive from your spouse, relative or other daycare provider. It's ok to acknowledge that you LOVE being a working-out-of-the-home mom.

It's ok to be satisfied with what you have.

I've done the "working mom" thing. Honestly? For me? It sucked. Every damn minute I was working sucked. I loathe the idea of ever having to re-enter the workplace while my kids are still within our home. But I can also understand how you could hate being a SAHM. I get it. However, for me? I am NOT JEALOUS. I might envy your material possessions a bit, but I don't take for granted what I have as an at-home mother. Not one single minute.

Paper Cuts

I've got a bunch of scars. Physical and figurative, they made me who I am today...

The one on my chin? Bike accident at age 8. The tree got in my path and I forgot that I could stop with my brakes instead of putting my arms in front of me.

There's the long incision across my belly where they cut out the cysts that left a numbness on both the surrounding skin and my psyche.

The silvery stretch marks that etch my stomach and thighs prove that I grew 3 human beings within a fairly small body.

Some scars are so deep and personal that no one else can see where the wound was. No one else notices the build-up of figurative scar tissue around my heart.

They say that scar tissue is stronger and more resilient. I've heard that it's much more difficult to cut through thick scar tissue....

Why then is it so easy for this particular wound to be reopened? Especially since I know that I will not allow myself to be re-hurt by the same situation. I won't. I am taking the high road and all that by disengaging before the situation is even recognized.

But the memory of the former pain still has the ability to paper cut my heart's scar tissue, over and over and over.

In my opinion? Paper cuts are the worst as they deceive one and all. Their real power is in how tiny they appear to be and how unexpectedly they arrive.

Screw this situation and the old pain. Screw the memories that cannot be changed or fixed. They are what they are. Sometimes you need to remember that you walked away from that situation to preserve yourself and your family's welfare.

Remember, remember, remember.

Maybe next time, the scar will be thick enough that my nerves can't be affected, no matter how many paper cuts it receives.

Most Excellent Morning

Parenthood is odd. In no other relationship would I ever tolerate someone who...

... yells at me for making them a meal without clearing every ingredient first. It's like When Harry Met Sally:

... clogs a toilet with poop, leaves it there, doesn't tell me, and LOCKS the bathroom door!

... kicks me in the head when I'm sleeping.

... left their crap all over the place and didn't understand why I get a little ticked off by it.

If this were ANY other relationship? If they were a guy I was living with? They'd have been gone years ago. Out the door, See Ya. Don't call me; I'll call you.

It's a good thing I love 'em. I swear, I do. Because it is their combined desire to see how quickly they can push Mom to the brink.

They're putting out a splendid effort today. Top notch.

Rum and Coke

Damn. In just one hour on Twitter I proclaimed to someone I find hilarious that I am funnier on my blog than on Twitter and also to convince Steve Martin follow me.

I need to watch my liquor intake a little more carefully. Curse you Coke in a bottle and adorable little mini Rum bottles!!

Edited to add:

Ok, now wait a minute. I KNOW there are lots of people I read and that read me that I don't have on Twitter. People, do me a favor; tell me your twitter handle! Please? I need help. Lots of people have told me they didn't know I was on Twitter. How is that possible?!?

@justanothermom

Overheard and Misunderstood

Recently shouted from the family room:

"Muwaaahaaa-haaa!! Suck on My Titty!"

Recently shouted from the bathroom where I was blow-drying my hair:

"WHAAAAATTT?!?! WHAT did you just say?!??"

"Suckonmahtitty!!"

Mouth completely open, I turned off the hair dryer:

"WHAT? Suck on my What?!?"

"Tatty."

"TITTY?!?"

"Tatty."

I furiously opened the door and flew down the hall to where my boys were playing Lego Batman on the DS. Before the fire in my eyes scorched them, I needed clarification:

"Ok. What? Suck on my WHAT?"

Clearly thinking his mother was a lunatic, Evan slowly stated,

"Suck-a-ma-ta-ting. I'm sucking up these Legos on the screen. See?"

Sure enough, his tilted Ds showed a little guy sucking up Legos so fast that he needed a new word to describe it. Hence, 'Suckamatating.'

Clearly.

I'm sure it's the coffee...

I have a stomachache.

This is day 2 of Tummy Watch. It's not something that most people would freak out about. I mean, it's just a slight rumbling and queasiness that comes and goes. I do believe that I can trace its roots to my excessive coffee consumption but there's not enough proof that the coffee is the cause for me to shake the quaking fear I get whenever I have an upset stomach.

I cannot erase the memory of the stomach flu that wasn't the stomach flu which landed me in the E.R. getting cat scans which found a giant cyst of random human body parts (it's called a dermoid cyst. Look it up if you're into that kind of thing. It's kind of gross) that decided to attach itself to my ovary. I'll never forget being wheeled down to surgery and bawling hysterically. The nurses quietly patted my arms that were strapped to the gurney but didn't try to calm me down. When my doctor walked in, she lifted her eyebrows and asked what was wrong.

Wrong? WRONG? You're going to cut me open. I'm going under general anesthesia because the damn thing is so big you need to deliver it like a c-section baby. It could be benign but my family has a history of cancer and I wasn't ready to just brush off the possibility that they might find extra stuff in there (Which they did! An extra cyst on my other ovary, just for kicks. Just a little guy, about the size of a golf ball instead of the size of a canteloupe like the other one).

What's WRONG? I was positive that something was going to go amiss and I would die leaving 2 little boys in the care of their father who would certainly find someone else to marry and become their mom and I would be forgotten like last week's meatloaf.

What was WRONG?!? Snot ran down my face and into my armpits. She thoughtfully wiped my cheeks and told them to just knock me out. It worked pretty damn fast because the next thing I remember was waking up in recovery with the mother of a boy I liked in grade school as my nurse. Oh, the stories my non-lucid mind told! No wonder they don't allow family in the recovery room after surgery; It was like truth serum. Nothing was held back, I tell you. NOTHING.

(Hope I never run into her again!)

My recovery after that sucked. I got an infection in my stomach incision and caught a cold which made the staples open up and rip with every cough. It was a lovely 3 weeks of "healing" and it left me hating doctors even more than I did before.

So, when I get a stomach ache and then have a nightmare about being forced to go to the doctor, I start to get angsty and antsy and freaked out. The logical answer to the question in mind of "Do I have cysts again? Will this be another horrible experience?" would be to go to the doctor.

But I'm pretty damn sure it's just the coffee... And nobody has called me "logical" in a long time.

Lucky 13

This is it, folks. Our 13th year.

The year we remember not because of job loss or financial issues. The year marked by no births, pregnancies, or house purchases. The year of figuring things out together and growing closer and achieving some of our dreams. The year of doing more for us as a couple and less for the needs of the children.

The year of focusing on US.
The one thing that has me embracing this whole "no more babies" idea is knowing that by finishing that stage of our lives, we are allowing a new stage to take precedence. The time where we can finally pay attention to each other!! What a concept... The whole reason for starting up this family gig of ours was the love we share. It's nice to have the ability to put our relationship back where it belongs: Above the Children.
It may be hard to picture if you have only little bitty kids. When your eldest is under 10 and you have several little kids going in different directions, it's ROUGH. Their needs are so immediate; so physically draining. There isn't always a lot left at the end of a day to stare into each other's eyes and profess the love that is still there, but slightly hidden...

Emotionally and financially, we were strapped. I am beyond grateful that Patrick's new job has opened up our lives to living together and seeing each other again. Throwing exasperated sticky notes at the other person as we passed in the hall on our shifts for sleeping wasn't the happiest time in our marriage...

Having my "baby" turn 5 in one month WILL be tough on me. I can't deny that I will always remain nostalgic for tiny babies and little kids. There's something special about that time in a parent's life. BUT. There is something special about this time in our lives, too. And I will NOT miss out on it by bemoaning what we used to have. Change is constant and I am embracing this new period, for as long as it lasts!

This is our Lucky 13th, babe. I can't wait to see what it brings!

Fish Stories...

Patrick and Evan returned home last Saturday. A cooler full of fish, suitcases full of stinky shoes (I gagged upon unzipping!) and mouths full of adventures from the Canadian wilderness. Had I known exactly how wild the adventure with my EIGHT YEAR OLD son was going to be, I would have suggested a less remote cabin...
Yummmmmy... Get in mah belly, fishy!

In this picture, he's all clean and appears to be in a fairly developed spot!

Heh.

My ears were ringing and jaw was on the floor when Patrick retold their story of getting stuck in mud up to Evan's armpits on a trek across the wilderness to another lake just to catch MORE FISH. As Pat described the freaking spear he whittled with his fish filet knife so that he could defend Evan against bears and wolves as he stood knee-deep in the icy lake beside a common drinking spot for animals, I had to sit down. When he got to the parts about spontaneously jumping into the lake to pull the boat to an island because they had run out of gas in the middle of a lake WITHOUT an oar and no one would be looking for them for about 5-7 hours, I was glad I was already sitting down!
(Totally trusting his dad to not let him get eaten by bears)
And he thinks he's taking Corinne when she turns 8?!? Hahahahahahaha!!!! Ohhh... Yeah. That'll happen.
Note: This is about what I pictured when Patrick was spinning his tale about bears and wolves and choppy waters and quicksand-mud that sucked the pants off of my little boy.* Except they weren't smiling and there was more blood involved.

*No picture of that! Dangit. I would have loved to have watched Evan cracking up as he tried to pull his mud-caked pants up from his ankles!

The post where I offend anyone who is of any religion...

I recently realized something about myself. It's not pretty, and I'm not proud.

It's honest and I am trying to come to terms with it so that I can alter my way of thinking.

I proclaim to be open-minded to anything. Should my children be homosexual or hetero, artists or engineers, wealthy or nomadic; I just want them to be happy. I have always stated that this applied to their religious choices, as well.

"As long as they truly believe it and aren't force fed a religion, I don't care what religion they are. I just want them to be happy. I don't care how they reach their spiritual peace, just that they reach it!"

You know what? That was complete bunk. I am just as prejudiced as the people I pity; the ones who can't accept their children for who they have always been. I'm no better than the parents who turn their backs on their homosexual kids and instead hold onto their religious tomes. Because it's obvious to me that the thought of my children becoming Christian or Jewish or any other religion that has strict Rules makes my heart clutch and palms sweat.

Apparently I'm only open-minded if my kids are open-minded in the SAME WAY as I am.

Pretty pathetic.

But how would I react if one of them came to me and professed a wish to study a religion at a place of worship more in depth? Corinne recently asked to go to our neighbor's church and I had to tell her I thought she was too young to fully digest what they would preach without having the adult mind to process and decide for herself. Turns out, she just wanted the damn goldfish they served after Sunday School and was appeased by buying some at WalMart, but there may come a day when it's not so simple to sway them to wait. And then what? Do I attend with them? Do I become the embarrassing mom in the background raising her hand and asking questions? That's what turned me off to organized religion in the FIRST place! They don't generally like 7 year old girls in Catholic CCD classes who badger the teachers with questions like,

"What about kids in the jungles? Are you telling me God really wouldn't let them into heaven because they didn't have a bible nearby? What about the millions of people who believe in God but in a different way? You're telling me they're all WRONG and we're RIGHT and I just have to have faith?!?"

I was a precocious little brat, eh? The teachers were quite happy when my mom told me to just be quiet and get through the classes. I got my first communion with a fake smile on my face. I received my confirmation AND wedding vows in the same Catholic church without a true belief in any of what was told to me. Just nod and smile and be a good girl and no one will look at you weird.

It has taken me my whole life to be able to stand up to ANYONE (including family and friends who believe in the bible verbatim) who tries to convince me that my way isn't ok with God. I won't argue their belief with them. They're allowed to believe whatever they want and I am honestly of the mindset that whatever lightens your spirit and brings you happiness is good for your soul.

So why can't I allow my kids to be ok with God in a different way than mine?

If I keep the doors of communication open and allow without judgment any and all questions about God and the Universe, then I have to have faith in my kids that they will follow no one or group without first questioning and considering all that it may mean...

A New First for the "baby" book...

There are a lot of firsts in your child's life.

The more obvious ones are expected: first steps, first words, first foot-stomping tantrum and "NO!" shouted in Mama's face.

Some Firsts are a little more slippery and catch you off-guard: the first time they don't hug you goodbye, the first private joke they share with someone and don't share with you, the first grown-up conversation that leaves you filled with pride and amazement that THIS was once your toddling baby...

And some Firsts just knock you flat on your back and leave you so flabbergasted that you fume and rage and want to punch someone with your Mighty Mommy Fists. Some Firsts are ones that you need to write about but fear to do so before angrily scratching several days from the calendar as a buffering distance. You need to allow your mind and heart to reevaluate and try to diffuse the gut-instinct rage that keeps boiling over whenever you picture that first time...

Everyone's ok. Everyone's fine and my children did NOTHING wrong. This is a rage that involves a stranger, a PERFECT stranger, and how his behavior and words affected me, my children and several other children. I feel emotionally violated and am still shaking, 5 days later, over the treatment that innocent kids were subjected to at the hands of someone they are told to respect and trust. I am also furious at the actions that a fellow parent took which brought this situation about...

But I am still too angry (Obviously; I'm shaking as I type this) to properly convey how this simple situation got out of hand....

I guess I still need to cross off a few more days on the calendar...

10 hours, give or take...

I am so scatter-brained. I have so much to write about, but can't quite focus on one topic. All I can focus on is seeing these guys again...
My God, I miss them!

They're currently driving out of Minnesota and into Wisconsin as I type this. After a little break at Grandpa's cottage in N. Wis, they'll head home and arrive back here sometime tonight. I can't wait to hear about the fish that got away and see the ones that weren't so fortunate. I wonder what Patrick meant on the phone when he said they had a "Man vs. Wild" experience... I hope I don't find too many ticks on Evan when we do a check tonight before bathtime.

I missed so much about them both. It's hard to put into words, but the ones that fit are these: every moment that they were away, I felt as though I had misplaced something. I had a lovely week, but many sleepless nights. Half of my family was extremely far away, and it's very disconcerting to be rearranged like that. It's so odd to have things happen that I can't convey to Patrick. Good and Bad, they have already passed and they don't need to be discussed as much anymore...

I dread when they become adults and move away. Good Lord. I can't even go there right now. Right now, I am just focusing on the fact that my 8 year old will be home after 9 days of being absent and I need to hug him and kiss him and squeeze him into a box so that he can't leave again for a long, long time...

Absolute, Complete and Unadulterated Joy!

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I'm still picking the glitter, I mean, fairy dust, out of my hair but it was sooooo worth it!

The Princesses will be at the United Center until September 12th. Check out the savings code here or go to the United Center's website for more information.

Thank you Feld Entertainment for really making some dreams come true!

September Morn

Oh my Freaking Lord. Did I really post myself dying my hair? On the internet? And do I really think that this is the type of crap that will garner me loyal readers or potential advertisers?

FYI:

I HAVE AD SPACE! I WANT TO GO TO BLOGHER11 in
SAN DIEGO!!!!! EMAIL ME!!

(Don't you find it so tacky when people beg for advertising money?)

Ahem.

It's SEPTEMBER!!! Do you know what that means? It means that the skies are blue and the wind is crisp in Illinois. It means park days and day trips to Chicago. It means I can wear jeans instead of shorts and can miss a day shaving my Italian legs. It means it will be dark by 8 so the kids are fooled into believing it's later than they think and I can stay up late with Patrick and a bottle of wine. (wink, wink)

I am most definitely smiling this WINDY September morning as I drink my coffee with the curtains flailing in the gusts. I am happy and positive that good things are on the horizon...

~~

4 more days till my men return home...

Chemicals in my EYE, yo. My. EYE.

I'm ticked off. My keyboard's space bar has decided to take a vacation in conjunction with Pat and Evan's trip to Canada. Therefore, if I were to just type without editing, this is what you would see:

I havetons of good ideasforposts! I have been sobusy this weekendandthe kids (what'sleft of them without Evan) havebeen....active.Let'sjust say that the pre-teen angstis at a ripeoldhigh in the house andleave at that,shall we?Ican be grateful that there won'tbe any video gamesin the housefor a month becauseof said angst. Silver lining and all.

SEE?!? Did you understand that? In order to type a sentence with spacing I have to type soooo sloooowly and backspace more than I type! I AM NOT AMUSED.

Here. Watch me embarrass myself with my lameness instead. I am off to drink wine and bemoan my lack of a proper space bar...

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Makeme feelbetter and enter thiscool giveaway...

I choose to call them "Creative"

"Mommy, I want to make a bow and arrow!"

I snickered behind my hand because there is NO WAY he could make an arrow fly with a bow made out of yarn, a stick and Scotch tape, right?
The joke's on me. Those suckers FLEW! Nobody lost an eye so the whole experiment was successful.

Zoom in.

My kids' sentence structure needs a little work, but the creativity is there...
This is what happens when you leave my kids in the backyard unattended for hours on end. They will devise (with the help of a few friends) a zip line made from yarn and a plastic golf club tube.

A zip line. From YARN. Let that one sink in.

Again, no one was hurt (not even my trees!) and they had a BLAST so I can chalk it up to a GOOD day.

For fun, enlarge the last photo. See the lovely "Christmas decorations" on my trees? Decorations that include wiffle balls, light sabers, and other outdoor toys tied to the trees with yarn?

3 weeks later and it's still up. I think we'll just wait for the real Christmas and pretend it was purposeful.

It's Okay!

It's ok.

Right Amber? Amber and her "It's Okay" Thursdays.* Which she stole from somebody else and which I am stealing from her.

Except today is Wednesday.

It's OK...

...to be pissed off that my left arm is twitching. Some phantom muscle is having a fiesta in my bicep, making me look as though I am doing a fancy muscle trick. Except I'm not. And it's annoying. You can see this twitchy twitch from across the room, guys. It's BAD. I am ANGRY. >:(

... to believe that you COULD run so fast that your feet don't actually touch the ground, just like in your dreams. You just don't feel like proving it right now.

... to point at the tv and say "I know her!" when referring to a local newsreporter that you once met at a luncheon a few months ago. After all, it impressed the kids and when they asked how you knew her you could rub your knuckles on your pj shirt and casually state, "from the blog. I know her from the blog." They need to idolize me a bit more and I am not above claiming friendship where there was really only a passing acquaintance over hummus and veggies. It's me against them and I need as much of an upper hand as I can get.

... to start missing your husband and son before they even leave for their fishing trip. 9 days without my middle kid? I've never done that before. It's a big deal and I am not ashamed to admit that I am going to cry.

... to be happy that it's raining out today which means kids may not be knocking at our door this afternoon. Sometimes, I just want a little peace and quiet. Sometimes, the craziness of tons of friends running in and out can wear on my sanity.

... to whine about the soreness in your legs. It's unfortunate that after only 2 days of jogging with your 8 year old, you can't climb the stairs without grunting. Especially since your kid was LAPPING you for the ten minutes you guys ran (we have a loop we do through the house. It sounds like a herd of elephants). Yes, he lapped me, repeatedly, and still had enough energy to play Ultimate Battle** outside for 3 hours last night. Ahhh... to be 8.

... to wish you were as funny as Amber. And then to secretly hate her a little bit. And then to feel guilty for saying that because you DON'T hate her; she's a sweetie and her husband is serving in Korea for a year! But you still kinda-sorta wish she would write a dumb post once in a while.

... to clap your hands when the fridge is still running in the morning.

... for your son to wear the same shorts for 2 or 3 days because you have packed the other shorts into the bag for Canada. He's homeschooled; who's gonna care?

... to want to search NetFlix for Harry and the Henderson's.

... to believe in fairies.

.... to need more than 3 cups of coffee. Right now.



* Apparently it's on Tuesdays, but I think it's funny that I wrote a whole post thinking that I was a day early instead of a day late.

** a game involving lots of boys that have toy guns and swords that they shoot at each other from behind overturned chairs and sandboxes. Also, it's a game that means everyone passes out at night, right on schedule. I've decided that I like gun games.