Desperation won. Cracking beneath the strain of new motherhood, I balanced my infant first born in one arm as I shakily dialed those three little numbers that were the Google of the 90's.
Hello, this is Information. How can I help you?
Hi. Um. Heh. I really need a number for a group... for moms? Do you have anything like that?
Sure. City and name, please.
Heh. I, ah. I don't know a name. My home town is Small Town, Illinois but I can't find any groups for moms and I just wanted some, um, help? Can you help me? Please?
Baby Justin begins to fuss. I jostle him in the universal baby dance that all mothers seem to learn without lessons. He quiets and I can feel the tears catch in my throat.
Please? I really, really need.... friends.
She's quiet. I can honestly feel the pity through the phone.
I'm so sorry, but without a name or city listing, I can't really search for you...
Isn't there any way? Anything you can do? I'll try anything... a baby group? A play place? Somewhere for mothers to meet?
I'm... I'm sorry. No.
Oh.... oh. Thank you, anyway....
The connection lost, my heart breaking, the loneliness closed in and the weeping commenced.
~~~
I was utterly alone in my new motherhood. Well, not utterly. I had plenty of family who loved me. I had friends who adored my son. But there wasn't a single, solitary soul who was home during the day to talk to. There wasn't anyone who was marching through the infancy stage with me. Justin was rapidly nearing his sixth week and I was rapidly approaching my return to the office. Torn by the overwhelming desire for human contact and the primal need to stay with my baby, I was a gigantic mess of hormones and mood swings.
I am so grateful for the Internet. What I wouldn't have done for its instant connection to similar people and similar issues.
I love you, Internet. You beautiful, shiny, brilliant creature.
Muwah.
Posts
Poetry Month in our Homeschool
-
Sure, you *can *force a kid to read a book. Any book, actually. But you
*can't* force a child to love to read. You can't push and push literature
on them a...
11 years ago
10 comments:
I feel the same way now. I live in a neighborhood where everyone works all day long. So I am all alone M-F. I know poor me but it is lonely. It is really hard to find good friends. Especially friends that you would be friends with even if you didn't have kids. :)
The Internet seems to like you pretty much, too.
I turned to soaps for adult conversation. It wasn't pretty.
The internet LOVES YOU. :)
Amazing what technology can do, huh?
Awww. That's so sad. And that is definitely a plus of the internet and blogging, isn't it?
I am so sorry sweets.
I know what that's like. We were the first couple in our social circle to have a child. It was hard to relate to them and even worse...I had no one to talk to during the day.
When I reached out to my OB after "losing my marbles" he made me sign up for a mom and babies group. I had no idea it even existed.
Those women saved me more times than I can count. The internet is an amazing supportive place, but sometimes you just need that physical presence.
Are there any library functions? Like our library holds special "child parent reading groups" and we have a free center where parents can take their kids and mingle. It's like a fun center so to speak.
oh my gosh! This breaks my heart! You are SO not alone--we have all been in those depths of despair--e-mail/comment any time for commiseration from a fellow mom-who-is-there. In the meantime, thanks for your honesty! :)
I agree 100% I don't know anyone in my area who had kids within 3 years of my pregnancy and I felt really alone. Twitter and blogging really got me through a lot of those "OMG I'm all alone and so lonely" times!
Okay, sorry somehow I didn't get that :) Glad you are now good to go--I love reading your blog and find it inspriring--and the pic of the milk mustache is great!
oh I love you girl. I can so relate to this, I was in a very similar situation when Sarah was born. I didn't call 411, but that was mostly because I lived in Switzerland and wouldn't have known how to ask for moms groups and they anyway would have spoken German :-(
If it wasn't fro the internet, I might have lost my mind out of sheer loneliness!
Post a Comment