Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I am SO Over..

I am SO over shaving my legs. Italian DNA requires that I perform this hideous task every freaking day when shorts weather is in season (lest I rub up against you and cause lacerations) and a healthy sex drive has me moaning and groaning with a razor through the wintry months. I'd like to find the person who decided that shaving was a necessity and force him (because you KNOW it was a MAN) to have to shave every hair on his body every day.

I am SO over explaining what "Because I Said So" means to my kids. IT'S SELF-EXPLANATORY.

I am SO over buying new shoes for my rapidly growing 12 year old. Do you think I could just buy a pair that is 3 sizes too big and stuff the toes with tissues? Would that be "lazy parenting?" Or just frugal?

I am SO over Spam mail regarding all of the single black women who are apparently dying to meet me. That's fabulous. I'm honored. Really. But I'm kinda married and kinda straight. Both kinda scream "Not Interested!" (Also on this email list: the repeating notification that THIS email is the final notification for a grand prize/invitation/Life-Altering-Choice. I get my hopes all up that it truly IS the final notification only to see 3 or 4 more "final notifications" following it. Methinks the Internet requires a definition of what "final" means.)

I am SO over setting unrealistic goals for myself. Phhhbbbbtttt. Done with that shizzat. I am keeping it real, dudes.

And now, for something completely different, a favorite montage of mine.

Happy Happy, Joy Joy Indeed
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