No radio, no a/c, construction traffic and a 4 year old. Do the math.
"Why do you ask?" (picturing her climbing into the crawl area in the boys' closet. I've managed to hide that little storage spot from them and intend to keep it that way.)
"I just want to know!"
I hesitate...
"In my closet, way up high, yes."
"Why is it up high? Does it have anything in it? Can I see inside it?"
"Because they made it that way. It's empty. And no."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not for you."
"But why?"
"Because I SAID so. Now let me drive."
....
"Is the devil for real?"
"What do you think?"
"Billy* says the devil's for real and he will GET you if you are bad."
"Get you? Well, Billy's family believes in the devil and the Bible. Everybody's different. You are allowed to believe whatever you want. What do you believe?"
"I don't think the devil's real."
"Fabulous. Let me drive."
......
"Why don't we store anything in our attic?"
"Aaarrrggggh!! Because it's up high and it gets too hot and I don't want to mess around with it. I am a basement person. I store in the basement, not the attic."
"Why does it get hot?"
"Because the insulation and circulation are all screwy up there and if you ever DO go up there without an adult you could get stuck and suffocate and DIE. Now LET ME DRIVE!"
.....
"Did you know that if you put a plastic bag over your head, you can die? Even little kids, Momma. If a little kid puts a bag over her head, she will DIE. Did you know that, hmmm?"
"Holy hell, child. PLEASE be silent, for just a few minutes, please?!?"
.....
"Isn't hell where the devil lives, Mommy? In hell? So, is he real after all? And why are you a basement person? Don't you like the summertime? I like the summertime. You can go swimming in the summertime and eat popsicles outside. Did you know...."
I really need to get another radio in my van.
*not his real name
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5 comments:
There would come a point when I would look at Annie, after one of the kids had been particularly non-stop vocal, and I would ask her, loudly, if she had stuck a quarter in so and so's ear. Given that my kids have pretty much never seen an old fashioned juke box that whole thing was just totally lost on them - except that they seemed to sense that by the time things had gotten that far, Dad was pretty much at the end of his patience. And they would SHUT UP!!
Of course, these days juke boxes take a buck - and there's no way I'm giving a kid a buck. Besides, how do you stick a buck in his ear?
Love those questions! And I know, I'm suppose to use that time in the car for interaction with the kids but it really does work on you after awhile.
Hey, I've been at the beach for a week and am just getting back to normal. Did you miss me? m.
I think my kids enjoy driving me to the point where I beg for silence. "Please, please, please just be quiet for a few minutes!" I say. And then they smile and giggle to each other and, probably, smack secret high-fives.
Oh, man, I know these conversations are annoying as hell, but damn they're so funny I can't wait for Miss L to start saying more than just bossing me around.
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