Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Item# 4,371 on list of "Things I Never Thought I'd Do Until I Became A Parent..."

Why the long face, cutie pie? And why is your mom taking a picture of you beside a penny??
A COOKIE?!? Isn't that supposed to be for the jewelry party Mommy is hosting tomorrow night? How'd you manage to attain one of those? And at 8 pm to top it off?

Wanna know? Wanna know what I spent 20 minutes doing? Wanna know why I had my face a mere 3 inches from her behind (a dangerous spot to be!) while she pitifully cried and writhed in pain? Wanna know why I had to recruit Evan to sing her songs and stroke her hair as a distraction?

Wanna see the results of a daredevil daughter who slides down WOODEN railings of playsets when wearing a SKIRT?!?

That is only HALF of the HUGE ass* splinter that was literally STUCK into her bottom. The other half is still embedded in her booty cheek because after many tears (on both our parts) I determined that the remainder is just too far into her flesh for me to pull out with tweezers. I am slamming a beer tonight in hopes that her body will push it closer to the surface so that I can perform a splinter-ectomy in the next few days, otherwise it's off to the doctor's office for her.

Ah, Motherhood...

*Couldn't resist.

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