Wednesday, September 02, 2009

To Enjoy It

What have I been doing?

Rolling right along, living life. Wondering about the meaning of it all, and knowing there isn't any answer other than "to enjoy it." Trying to follow that mantra...

Yesterday at the park, watching the kids run and play with other homeschooled children... 1 in the afternoon on a Tuesday, the sun is shining and the rest of my loved ones are inside buildings and offices.

How long will this stage of my life last? When will I again find myself immersed in schedules and paperwork, tedious chores and duties that don't include marching across a field to the creek to search for frogs (we found 1. A Big FAT frog, covered in mud, despite the claims from Evan that is was frog poop)? How many days will I honestly be able to say that I lived without using a clock or watch? NOT ONCE did the numbers that mark the sun's position matter in our week. You're hungry? Eat. You're tired? Sleep. Your schoolwork's done? Play.

So blessed to know this freedom of routine. So blessed to explain The Cold War over pancakes and multiplication until it's understood.

Enjoy this, enjoy this, enjoy this.

Soon this shall pass. Soon they will grow and change and leave. ALL too soon this stage of my life will be only a memory on a blog, long forgotten and difficult to remember... Like the baby pictures of my now-gangly school-children, whose days of infancy are like a blurry dream; some other Tracey. Some other child.

I want to remember the wistful tears in my coffee this morning. The tangles in Justin's hair, the glue and glitter on the kitchen table, and the way Evan's tooth is dangling on its last threads. I want to remember it all, without the dreamlike quality that the passing years inevitably color our memories with...
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