Monday, January 26, 2009

Cycles and circles

I'm caught in the roundness of everything.

Seasons. Aging. Hormones. Trust. Health. Energy. Creativity. Patience.

There are very few plateaus in life. And just when you think "Aha! I've reached a goal. I can relish in what I've achieved" you look around and remember that there are no finish lines. The curve keeps on keeping on...

It really requires nerves of titanium to soldier through the downward curve of a cycle. Knowing that things WILL go back up and around and down again. And again. Over and over. Knowing the path ahead of me, and yet, not...

I truly want nothing more than to just jump forward in time, reaching the next step. The part where we are at another mock plateau, but one that is less frigid and fretful. I want to know what the answers to my questions will be. To know if my worries are valid. To relax and rejoice or to heal and hope...

17 comments:

Laski said...

I so, so get this. When I'm there . . . I opt for chocolate.

A chick flick or ungodly gushy romantic proportions.

Something fried (it is all about food, right).

A long, long nap after a long, long HOT bath (with bubbles, candles and heck, a glass of wine).

And suddenly the downward curve isn't all that bad.

I say all of this, but the truth is, sometimes you do ride it out without any help and when you get to the other side, you just say, "AAAAAHHHHH . . . "

Desiree said...

I might have to 2nd that chocolate notion. It's all about balance -- you'll find it again :) The good wouldn't be as worth it without the not so good.
Peace <3

Kristin said...

Everyone has those "cycles". Focus on the good and positive and you'll get through:) Meanwhile, that chocolate sounds pretty good!

Allison said...

You are not alone - lots of people seem to have the same kind of wish. me included. get me past winter and I might start feeling a little more optomistic.

Gettysburg Mom said...

The up part of the cycles wouldn't be as good if you didn't have the down part to compare them too.

Forget the chocolate. Pour yourself a drink. Or...perhaps a chocolate martini?

And remember, like the good times, this too shall pass...

Tonya said...

hope everything is ok!

Anonymous said...

Everything is valid. Nothing is really that important, and everything is extremly important. You are NEVER right (in their eyes).

Try and muddle through, but I'll tell you, although I see SOMMME light? It's still the same. Sorry

Laugh a lot.

Kamis Khlopchyk said...

This is so deep Tracey, I love it. What you express is what we all feel, though I personally could never express it so eloquently. But what I do know is that most of life's beauty and more importantly it's magic, is in the not knowing.

I think LaskiGal has it right...I mean what could doing all that hurt? :)

Marie said...

OK, can I just say that EVENTUALLY, sometimes, those circles move generally upward? Yes, you stil go up and down, but the ups are a little higher and the downs are a smidgen less down? Maybe? No, you're right, I'm full of crap. Brown eyes you know ;-).

tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

Well. I just ate an entire box of Tagalongs that a Girl Scout brought by.

Freaking Girl Scouts and their boxes of sweet goodness.

But now I'm thinking that chocolate may not be the answer as I am envisioning my thighs expanding exponentially...

CaraBee said...

The downs suck, but the ups are pretty amazing, so we have to live through these parts to get there. Keep your chin up, nothing lasts forever.

Melissa said...

I hear ya girl... it would be nice to get to a point and then stay there for awhile... is that so much to ask?

Beck said...

It's hard. It's particularily hard right now.
Things WILL get better.

Lynsey said...

we're totally on the same wave length, only you described it so much better than I ever could have.
Hugs,
Lynsey

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Saying a prayer of hope and sustainance for you Tracey. Holding you in my heart today. You sure have expressed this beautifully, I know exactly what you mean.

Kristi said...

I totally hear you on the "no finish lines" point. I've been there too. I hope you're on an upswing soon.

L~ said...

oh...I hear you!

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