Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I'm married to Santa Claus....

About 3 years ago, my best friend called me. I could scarcely hear her whisper, but finally I understood that she wanted my husband to do her a favor. Her daughter, G, was 4 years old and going through a sassy phase. Talking back to her mom, hands on her hips, etc. She basically thought she was 14 instead of 4!

Patrick agreed to do this dirty, rotten favor to aid my friend in this parenting crisis...

Ring, ring...

Best Friend: Hello, is this Santa?

Patrick: (in a deep voice) Yes, yes it is! What can I do for you?

BF: Santa, I am having problems with my daughter, G. She is normally a sweet little girl, but has been being very, verrrrry naughty. I don't know what to do! (Pat could hear G crying in the background..)

Pat/Santa: Let me talk to G, please.

G: (wavery, tiny voice crackling with tears) Hello? Santa?

Pat/Santa: (deeper, boomier voice) G, I hear you've been being a naughty girl. Is that right?

G: (probably thinking OH MY GOD it's really HIM!) Yes....

Pat/Santa: G, I know you can be a good little girl. I will be watching you very carefully this month. You need to behave and not talk back to your Mommy anymore, do you understand me?

G: (tears are flowing) I'm SORRY SANTA!!! I'm so sorry!! I promise I'll be good!!

Pat/Santa: (trying not to laugh or cry, I'm not sure) That's my girl. You do your best, and I'll leave you a nice present on Christmas.


All this conversation, I am sitting on the couch with a pillow over my face, trying to cover the evidence of my hysterical laughter. Patrick was shooting me the dirtiest looks for not being more supportive as he was trying hard not to laugh. Poor guy.

He felt AWFUL, but it worked! It totally worked and G was much better behaved that month. Of course, she went back to her sweet and sassy self come January, but my BF was very thankful.
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