Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Embarrassing Truths

As I sit here waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, I decided to come clean and confess.

I am not perfect.

I'll wait for the shock to wear off, you dear, deluded readers... Go on, wipe your eyes. Compose yourselves....

I know! It will be hard for most of you to stomach, but I am going to admit to something:
I have guilty pleasures.

Yes. Lame, silly things that I do, that I might normally scoff at if someone else were making fun of them, because Really? I am a tad embarrassed. Exactly WHY I am confessing online is unclear, other than this.

Embarrassing truth#1) I read the Earth's Children book series. Repeatedly. As in, I enjoy the storyline so much, I can just start the several thousands of pages series at the drop of a hat. It relaxes me! Before I completely scare you away, know that I skim and SKIM and SKIMMMM. Jean Auel needs a bit of help in the ole editing department. I have probably skipped entire chapters just looking for the storyline as I truly don't need to hear the extensive information about every. single. piece. of vegetation from the Ice Age. Also, she tends to repeat herself from the previous books, which, I believe is ridiculous. Nor do I need the graphic descriptions of sex and how the two main characters are so free and perfect for each other. Point made. Good sex. FADE TO BLACK ALREADY!!

ET#2) I don't always make my kids change their socks and underwear. GASP! Sometimes, as they're getting ready and I notice that Evan still has the socks from yesterday, I pause and say, in my head "It's not worth the argument. Let. It. Go. " And some days, like today? I forget that I SHOULD have let it go and end up in a screaming battle with a 6 year old. Brilliant parenting, eh?

ET #3) I like cheesy t.v. As in, I watch not only the port-wine-like musical romance movies from the 30's, 40's and 50's but also the Cheez Wiz shows from the 70's, 80's and 90's. I love me some Gary Cooper, Fred Astaire and Doris Day. Throw in a couple of I Love Lucy and Brady Bunch and I am a happy couch potato, smothered in cheese....

ET #4) Dang, this is harder than I thought! Not because I don't have tons of embarrassing confessions, but to admit them online? Steely hard, dude.

ET #5) I have the ability to yell. Scream, really. As in, I am hoarse right now from the level my voice reached this morning. I can't yell at Justin. He breaks down and cries. But Evan, poor Evan... He gets the brunt of my volume. He also is the one to do the most ridiculously naughty and disrespectful things. Of course, I then come back to the thought "you have to treat someone with respect before you can expect it in return." Sigh... THAT is my hardest confession. Not only to you, but also to myself. I am truly lacking in my anger management with my middle child. Every day, I say to myself "it will be a better day. I will try harder and be calmer. I will accept responsibility for my own mistakes and not take out my frustration on a first grader." And EVERY DAY he ignores my polite requests to get ready or stay away from his sister or keep his hands to himself. And you know what? It's tiresome. It's FFREAKING EXHAUSTING to repeat yourself for hundreds of days in a row. Not a good enough excuse, I know....

Ok. I am now thoroughly embarrassed and disgusted with myself. #5 really is awful, isn't it?

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