Saturday, September 06, 2008

Just don't ask.

If you're moaning and moping over your lack of suitable attire for a bridal shower, trying on pair after pair of "dressy" pants (really, just khaki pants that aren't too wrinkled) that don't fit and are out of style ANYway, and searching for a shirt that the What Not to Wear fairy magically left in your closet, do not ask your 9 year old how you look in a froo-froo dress with flowers on it. Unless you really WANT to know how your 9 year old feels about your wardrobe choice...

Mom - Hey, kiddo. What do you think about this dress? (Spin, spin. Smoothing blue flowers down and hoping my butt doesn't look too big. Hint, tell Mommy how pretty she is...)

Justin - Welllll..... I don't really like it. I don't think you really look good in dressy clothes....

Mom - (trying not to burst into tears because, really? I really don't look good in this dress but it's the only thing I have that is remotely suitable.) What do you mean?

Justin - I just think that you aren't a fancy person, you know?

Mom - (blank stare)

Mom - Um, oh..... Oh.

~~End horrible conversation in which my son gave me his honest opinion and it wasn't something I wanted to hear.~~

I rummaged through everything. EVERYthing. I tried on Patrick's shirts, and even tried knotting the ends like we did in the 90's. Yes. I was THAT desperate. And, NO, I don't have time or extra cash to go shopping and even if I did, I would have to bring 3 kids with me. One of which was sick yesterday and is still exhausted and complaining of a sore throat and EARache.

I managed to find a pair of pants that didn't make my butt look 3 times bigger than it is (which, incidentally, is funny since it already IS 3 times bigger than I'd like...) (but not funny "ha ha" more like funny "better to make a joke than to cry"). I also scrounged around and settled on a blouse that isn't TOO unflattering. Just the outfit! Perfect to make me feel flabby and out of date. Yay....

Every year. Every FREAKIN year I go through this! Especially when a dressier occasion presents itself. For I have no NEED for fancy clothes and therefore never BUY fancy clothes so the only fancy clothes I HAVE are old and too small. I do believe I will purge, big time. Between that and painting the bathroom, I should remain occupied while Patrick is out of town.

Wah, wah. At least the pants I found are a looser cut. More available space for extra treats that I can use to drown my weight woes with...

20 comments:

Hannah said...

Oooh, ouch!! I guess it's a "guy thing". They are asked a question, they answer it. No beating around the bush!

Thanks for the warning - I will have to watch it, because I don't think I will be "a beautiful princess" in my boys' eyes for THAT much longer, ROFL! :-)

Kristi said...

I have this problem too. I do have a ton of dressy clothes from when I used to work at my office, but none of it is really "in-style" anymore, so when a dressy occasion arises, I'm left scrambling. Where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?

Not Your Regular Mini Van Mom said...

It could be worse. You could feel like a million bucks in your outfit, thinking you look like all that AND a bag of chips, and then your five year old son tells you (literally on your way out the door) "You aren't really going to wear that are you?"...Um...why..."Well you look like Grandma and kind of lumpy too"

Nice. At least you knew you weren't looking your best, there is nothing like a shot out of the dark to make your day.

Kat said...

Yep. They can just be brutal, those little guys. When I was pregnant with Ben I was all dressed up fancy in a pretty red blouse to go to Todd's work Christmas party and Joey told me I looked like Santa. Nice. Darn kids.

It seems I only buy fancy clothes when I am at my smallest possible size. Then I get pregnant again and have to wait 2 years to wear them again, and then I get pregnant again! Sheesh!

Michelle said...

He probably just meant you weren't a snooty person who has to be all dressed up all the time; he's just used to seeing you in casual clothes so that's why he thought you didn't look good in dressy clothes :)

we are reilly said...

Oh, let me join your club! I don't fully understand the point of fancy clothes -- I don't own many and the ones I do are also too small -- I think they're still from college, when I was going on job interviews!

Now, 2.5 pregnancies later...they DEFINITELY DON'T fit!!

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

I know how you feel! You, my desperate friend, need to check out Ann Taylor LOFT...they are having a sale right now & some stuff is on clearance. I love that store. You can dress stuff up or down. I am needing to go there myself...but with kids in tow it is nearly impossible. My son starts wailing as soon as we stroll through the doors. A little online shopping may be in order. :)

Gucci Mama said...

I dread the days when I'll hear more than, "Mama pwetty" in answer to that question.

CaraBee said...

At 35 my husband has yet to learn the "just tell her she looks good no matter what" response to any inquiry on my appearance. I'm looking forward to at least a couple of years where my daughter tells me I"m beautiful because doesn't everyone need some blind adoration.

Gettysburg Mom said...

That's why you ask the girl child and never, ever the boy child. Put on a pair of sparkly shoes and a four year old girl will tell you you look like a princess.

Cynthia said...

Harsh:O I'm the same way, I never buy dressy clothes. I did a major purge and just kept the staples. Jeans for me baby!

the dragonfly said...

Yeah, my "pre-baby" dressy clothes just don't cut it anymore. *sigh* When I was in the States in May I bought myself a whole outfit, and realized I hadn't done that in *years*.

Again...*sigh*

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Aw, I feel for you. I have to tell you though, the reason your son said that is likely because 1. He isn't used to seeing you dressed up, so it makes him uncomfortable. and 2. He knew that you dressing up meant you were going out.
I am sure you looked gorgeous as always.

A couple things that I always keep in my closet now are a nice blazer or 4 that I can throw over jeans or a skirt or whatever. Especially good on fat feeling days. And a great pair of high heel boots to dress up any pair of pants.

kimmy said...

Kids can be so honest. Luckily they are cute!

My daughter is great at critiquing my outfits too!

Kimmy

Marie said...

You read my mind. Are you vicariously living my life there in illinois, or wherever you are?

Our church has a pretty strong no pants on Sunday policy. I finally decided matching a polyester skirt (no wrinkles, even after a week on the floor) with a white T-Shirt probably was only ok when I was a teenager. So I grabbed a friend who has taste and made her shop with me. I now own THREE things I can wear and get compliments.

Let's go shopping together! Key is: BABYSITTER. SO worth the money.

And thank you for being so nice about my soccer woes, I'm hitting up friends for playdates as we speak!! ;-)

Tonya said...

Oh Tracey! I feel your pain I don't have a need to buy fancy clothes and then the need comes I don't have any. We need to plan a day to go to the museum and which one!

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Two essentials to the female wardrobe are a great fitting pair of jeans, and a dressy outfit that makes you feel luverly. So sorry you had to have the yucky nothing-to-wear experience!

Ruby said...

What? No pictures? Wearing the blue dress with flowers;-)

Damselfly said...

Ack! Of course your kid boy doesn't think you're fancy! He's just a kid. And a boy. It can be hard, though, to be a "regular mom" and still have a presentable, sort-of-fancy outfit ready to go when you need it. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

I go through this same thing when we are invited to a wedding. Ugh, I never have dressy clothes, I have no need for them!! It is frustrating.

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