Wednesday, May 07, 2008

2 years and 2 days

I realized, somewhat startlingly, that I have been blogging for 2 years now. 2 years and 2 days, to be exact. It has left me feeling somewhat taken aback as I still feel so incredibly new to blogging. I am grateful that I have kept this journal for myself and my children. There are things that I had forgotten until reading back over them this morning. Good and bad, the posts cover my daily life. They explain, to a TINY degree, who I am and who I was. My children NEVER could have known all of this, without this blog. I have kept handwritten journals for each of them, but they are usually written as letters to my children, about them specifically. This blog gives a rounded version of our FAMILY. Of each of them, of my relationship with Patrick and of Me.

Being a mother means becoming a person of knowledge. It means being the one who makes hurts feel better. It means being the one they call for in the night. Being a mom means losing a bit of your individuality in your children's eyes as your life becomes enmeshed with theirs, and your interests meld with their loves.

It means growing up, at least on the outside, even though you still feel like you must be only 17 or so, with your whole life stretching in front of you. Being a mother means taking a good look at your own mom and realizing that all of the choices she made for you and your family as you grew up were as unknown and scary as they are for you. It means that you come to the understanding that life is a continual cycle, with no beginnings or ends, truly...

And so, on this lovely rainy May day, with the grass so green it is almost neon, and the yellow finches and robins courting each other from the fencelines to the treetops, I am thankful for this lovely thing called a blog. I am grateful to everyone who visits my little corner of the web. I am SO incredibly happy to have an outlet for a little bit of creativity, and a lot of friends.

Thank you!
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