Edited to add that one should not mess with one's own blog design at 10 pm when one has no experience with said blog designing lest one end up with el boring design as appears right now. NOW, one must spend the wee hours of the night messing around with letters like html and img and crap that is all just gobbledy-gook. Please refrain from laughing at the attempts I make in the next 12 hours or so. It may just end up black and white until Jamie can help me fix the mess I made of her lovely design... But I just wanted to make something on my OWN!!! Is that so wrong?!?!? Grrrr.....
Yet another day where 327 brilliant thoughts that I desperately wanted to remember have somehow escaped my memory... old age? Need more Vitamin A,B,Q,H? Hmph.
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I got to breathe in my nephew's sweet baby scent today. I realized that I am truly happy for them and not at all jealous. No yearnings for my own tiny bundle.... which is a strange feeling as I've ALWAYS wanted a tiny baby around. Ever since I was little... And now? Now I am thankful for the years I had with them, and thankful for the ages they are now. Not that I wouldn't be thrilled to be surprised someday. I can't picture a time in my life where I would ever be upset to be pregnant (well, there was that one scare, about 7 months prior to my wedding and the dress was bought and the hall was booked and all...). But I am able to say that I am full. I feel complete. No one is missing. Our family is whole... It's a good feeling.
When Evan was about 2, I looked at them playing at the zoo, and said to Patrick "Someone's missing. We're not complete yet." He needed a little more convincing, but agrees that Corinne was indeed missing from our family picture...
So. My 2 year old is my last baby. The end. No more tiny things... No more wistful thoughts for future children. I can't quite say how I feel about that part of this whole "complete family" thing. It seems to age me, inside... I have started to drift into the "Experienced Mom" side of the playgroups rather than the "New Mom" side. Not that I don't have New Mom friends! I do. I love them, and their sweet worries, questions, and amazement over the parenting experience. But I am not completely at ease in my BTDT role. Not yet, anyway. I do feel a bit of a responsibility towards helping new parents, when they have worries and questions. I hate to hear of new parents being treated as imbeciles that can't make an educated decision. If people haven't figured out by now that there is no ONE way to raise a child, well, fooey on them...
I DO wish that I could travel back to each pregnancy, each newborn stage, and just feel them close to me, once more... The hopes and immense feelings that were brewing in my hormonal soup. Mainly, just to touch the new skin of my own children, and to smell their sweet aromas...
Sigh...
Posts
Poetry Month in our Homeschool
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Sure, you *can *force a kid to read a book. Any book, actually. But you
*can't* force a child to love to read. You can't push and push literature
on them a...
11 years ago
9 comments:
I know what you mean. I miss that stage with my boys, but at the same time I am glad to be DONE with it because it's actually quite nice to have conversations with them and DO things with them instead of just feeding/changing etc! It's so bittersweet!
I can completely relate to this. I look at my daughter and cannot believe she's 17 months old already. And just yesterday, as my husband was watching some video of her when she was just born, I burst into tears. It's a time in her life I'll never get to experience again, but one that hopefully, like you, I'll get to experience with another child.
I love the new picture!
And yes, enjoy "being done" and passing along all your motherly wisdom. I know exactly how you feel. I just wish someone could sprinkle a little "newborn" smell on my 10-year-old - it would make his sassiness so much easier to take! :0)
Your "new look" is cute, I really like the picture of the three kids and your writing on the top! You didn't do so bad, Tracey! (pat on the back) :)
I'm afraid with a 12 and 17 yr. old I am way beyond the experienced mom and almost done with the BTDT bit, too! However, with each year that passed not only do my kids grow into a new phase, but so do I. There is always something new and exciting, and I am now the "inexperienced" mom who is asking advice about ACT's and SAT's and college tours from the "seasoned" parents. It's a never ending journey!
Lizzy
Oh, you have captured what I feel. We are done. As in, we physically cannot have more children. I am okay with it - three is my limit. I enjoyed my time with them when they were babies, but I love the fact that they are growing up into actual "people." My life is taking on a new direction. And while I would love to be able to feel them as infants in my arms just one more time, there are SO many aspects of the newborn days that i just don't miss.
I love the smell of a baby's head - it is one the things that I miss now that my kids are growing up! I also love the smell of Dreft detergent! I used to wash all the kids clothes in it when they were babies.
Kimmy
I linked to you on this one. I hope you don't mind.
followed Andria's link here. It doesn't matter if you have 2, 3, or 4 kids (or more, I'm sure), the newborn ache doesn't go away. I've always envied the moms that can say "been there, done that, no more." Maybe someday I'll get there too. Maybe not.
My family is VERY complete but I still wish I could find the "rewind" button for just a little while. Please?
I so know what you mean. Wouldn't it be great if we could TiVo life? Go back and re-experience the good stuff, fast-forward past the not-good. The past several years have been bittersweet, because I do believe that I am 'done.' No more babies for me. (Not unless God *really* has a sense of humor...)
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