Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Mama's loveys...

I was reading October's Parenting just a moment ago, and my dream from last night came back to me. This article, about kids' loveys and transitional objects was right on the ball for me.

My long time readers know about Evan and his Pandy bear. Pandy bear has been with us since Evan was a baby. I'm not sure why he picked this bear for his special lovey. There wasn't anything remarkable about him. Not ultra soft, or rough. Not big or small. Didn't smell like Mommy or Daddy. Really, just a panda bear. But, somehow, he became Pandy Bear. And he is a member of our family. My heart aches to think that he will someday be in the back of a closet, or under the bed. I vow to save Pandy from these indignities and preserve him, without washing, lest he lose his childhood smell. He's sticky, bare in spots, floppy and smushed at times, and is more of a light gray/dark gray panda bear now. But he is SO LOVED. Sadly, Evan no longer looks for Pandy. Oh, he still cuddles and rubs his face and plays with him, but if Pandy isn't in his bed or easily found, Evan isn't necessarily devastated. He's growing out of him... sigh...

That said, I never really gave as much thought to the fact that Justin also has a lovey of sorts. Not a stuffed animal or anything, but he has a pillow. A small, childsized pillow that I sewed with leftover curtain material and lace, back in the days that I was pregnant with him. My mom saw how much use it was getting early on, and made a pillow case out of train material for him. And a lovey was born. His Train Pillow MUST be on his bed. He feels lost without it, and I fear the day that he ruins it. The pillow itself is lumpy and misshapen (not a great seamstress, and didn't stuff it with the intention of washing it so often!). The material is faded in some spots to almost white, but he LOVES it. Loves the feel of it.

This leads me to my dream. In my dream, we were having a garage sale (which is more of a nightmare, actually). In the dream, Justin was selling his stuff and had put a price tag of $30 on his raggedy old train pillow. When the father of a little boy tried to buy it, I FREAKED on him. FREAKED! I took the pillow away from the tiny boy and said that it was NOT for sale. And then I paid $30 to the man to buy a new pillow from the store! And the boy was crying! And I didn't care. Because this was more important to me than I'd ever realized. It's his connection to babyhood. And I can't bear the thought of losing the Train Pillow, any more than losing Pandy Bear. So I will be saving a pillow and a bear until I'm old and gray.

I wonder what Corinne will attach to? She seems to vary from animal to animal, which isn't very unusual, but I can't save ALL the freakin toys. Maybe it's time to push a lovey on her.... ;)
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