Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Much swearing and bitching

If you are easily offended by foul language, please leave as I am about to rip a royal swear fest.

I am so Goddamn frickin royally pissed off right now. Justin is becoming a 14 year old in a 7 yr old body and I do NOT like him much lately. That sounds awful. Sounds really bad when I put it into print. But it's the truth right now.

And you know what? He doesn't like me either. We bitch and yell at each other every single day.

And I am tired. TIRED of him. Tired of fighting, and getting no respect. Tired of GIVING him little respect. Tired of having to resort to punishments that a 4 year old would need. Tired of hearing how he wishes he was at school and not with me. Tired of crying from the words he says. Tired of feeling like a failure to him. Tired of worrying if my other children will become this way.

Is it me? Am I solely responsible for his rotten attitude? I am NOT a patient person. I DO respond sourly to him at times. I DO expect him to (gasp) listen to me and do what I say, when I say it. NOT when he feels like it. If it's time to go to frickin school, then get your goddamn ass off the couch and get out of the frickin door on TIME cuz I get NO PLEASURE from repeating myself 8,000 times every time I want someone to listen to me. And I do NOT enjoy having to resort to yelling in anger when no one is listening or responding to me. And I do NOT enjoy having to rush around when all of the petty shit could have been taken care of BEFORE It was time to go. We could then have an easy morning, or afternoong.

But NO.

Instead, I get to get tears of fury and indignation in the van on the way to school in yet another rainy day of traffic while my ingrate of a child sits behind me whining about not having everything his fuckin way. Well, GET OVER IT kid. Life sucks at times. Especially when you're a parent and your kids don't listen to you and treat you without any respect.

How did I get to this point? Where was the turning point? When did my sweet baby boy become a snarling venom-spitting child? I am just nauseated at the thought of my baby girl becoming the same way. I think that Evan is on the borderline right now. He has way too many influences from Justin and I fear for us all if he idolizes his brother too much.

So, fuckIamsopissedIcannotdothisMommyshitanymore
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