You know you're insane when 20 hours in a car with 3 children sounds like a sweet deal...

From 6 am to 10 pm yesterday? I was in the ON Mode.

On Fast Forward.

On "CHOP! CHOP! TICK TOCK GUYS!!" Mode.

The knowledge that any deviation from the meticulously detailed schedule would, quite honestly, cause the entire house of cards to flutter to the floor resided not only within my mind and To-Do-List-Notebook, but also in my heart. I could feel it in my heart and it was beating at a rhythm I am unaccustomed to. A trip INTO the bank (no drive-thru would work yesterday!), an oil change, purchase toiletries for trip, 3 children to get to a Valentine's Day Party (with cookie cake, plates, and supplies for art; I only forgot the glue and scissors-thank goodness there were spares at the location) where we are the ones to unlock and set up; library books to pick up, candy to buy for son's girlfriend, buy the dog food at a DIFFERENT store, back home, change 2 kids, drive an hour to drop eldest at a market research study (chocolate taste testing? How could I deny him?), drive younger 2 to karate and gymnastics, and rush to Panera to meet with Melisa for some Listen To Your Mother work.

At this time? It was only 4:30. I still had 6 hours of hard core errands to accomplish.

Is it any wonder that I was a wee bit punchy at my meeting with Melisa?

I do need to interject here to say that I HEART ALDI. What other store can you make your list, know the exact prices of the exact items and exactly where they will be in the store, so all you have to do is run through the aisles, grabbing what you need for 10 days of breakfasts and lunches for 5 people? Where else can I buy enough food for 5 people for that long and only spend $63 in 21 minutes?!?! (Seriously. I was in and out in 21 minutes and did NOT miss the pick up from gymnastics or karate... though I was breathing a little heavily at that point...)

In comparison, my normal days might sound like I'm staring at a wall, scratching my ass. (honestly, there's some value in that). Even today, where I am slowly waking up with a cup of coffee before I rouse the kids and head to Florida in the van by myself with them, sounds blissfully slow. My heart is beating at a normal rate and my voice is no longer in the range of a chipmunk from the tension caused by such a manic pace.

Too much....

It was too much. Too fast, too packed, too tenaciously balanced. When I got stuck in traffic behind a horrific accident on Route 88, my initial reaction wasn't "Oh my God! I hope no one's hurt!" Instead, my mind went "THERE". It went to meanness and aggravation that someone else was intruding upon my schedule; MY SCHEDULE! My precious, precious schedule!

Damn.

I noticed and I paused and I couldn't believe my mind could be so self-centered...
I hope the man on the stretcher is ok.

On that note, I am signing off for many, many days (or at least until I get some adequate wifi in Florida!). I hope you have more moments of relaxation than worry and stress today. I hope we can all be quiet enough, often enough, to appreciate what is going on RIGHT NOW rather than looking perpetually forward to lengthy to-do list.

Peace Out.