Tuesday, February 07, 2012

What I've Learned and What I Promise to Do...

"Front kick!"

"Ay-YAH!"

"Front punch!"

"Ay-Yah!"

"And now it's time for announcements..." The karate instructor began to list the upcoming activities and important news for the class. Evan glanced over at me and frowned.

"You crying?" he signed*.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Why?"

"I'm ok. You just work."

His face concerned, he signed back, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

I am sad. Devastated, actually, for two little boys that will never again have their mother watch them at karate or basketball or whatever activity interests their little-boy hearts. They will always have her love, but to feel it in the air and through your heart is vastly different than to feel her arms around them, kissing their foreheads, showering them in her pride...

I am deeply affected by their loss. By the loss for all of us now that Susan has passed away. Most of us never really "knew" her, but we knew her love for her family through her beautiful words on her blog. We knew her through conferences and speaking events, tweets and posts.

She will be missed.

There are insanely vibrant flowers on my kitchen table today. Fuschia and orange and yellow. These are most definitely not their God-given colors, but on this intensely dreary February day, I am beyond grateful for the gift my husband bought me last night. "I knew you'd had a hard day," he said...

I may not be able to donate money to all of the amazing charities in the world. I may not be able to cure the diseases that snatch our loved ones before they are softened and gray with 90+ years. I may not be able to touch as many people's hearts as Susan did. But I am able to appreciate these children that surround me, these flowers from my husband, and the health that I hold for today. I am able to send a message into the world that say:

I will be Consciously Kind. I will acknowledge that today, I may meet someone on their last day in their Earthly body. The energy we put out into the universe does not end. It continues, long after we are far, far away.

If Susan's courageous battle with Inflammatory Breast Cancer taught us anything, it's that Life is Precious.


*Evan has been learning American Sign Language with me and Corinne. He loves it and I am so proud of his dedicated practice...
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