Friday, June 24, 2011

Can't even think up a proper title...

I have felt so unmotivated lately.

I start a project, hoping to "get into it" only to find myself wandering the house aimlessly, project half finished and being scattered about by the children.

Patrick called me today on his way home from work to go show a couple of houses for his "hobby" as a realtor. (Obviously, he's pulling more weight in this family than I am...)

"Whatcha doin?"

"Meh. Just painting a stool."

"A stool? You're painting a stool?"

"I had no desire to accomplish anything important today, AGAIN, so I built the stool that's been sitting unassembled on my shelf. Since I had some blue paint, I started to paint it. So I'm painting a stool."


End conversation.

I KNOW. Riveting stuff, right?

There isn't anything wrong, I'm just... Meh. The sun hasn't been out, so I haven't been out. The kids are missing their friends that moved and have been grumpy and listless, so I'm grumpy and listless. And I'm unable to enjoy any project I'm working on, no matter how many I begin. I mean, USUALLY when I hack away at the growth that is our front "garden", I walk away from it feeling like a superstar! You should see the amount of vegetation I'm referring to - it's phenomenal. This week though? After 2 hours of clipping branches and pulling weeds and pruning flowers? Nothing.

No joy.

No pride.

Just... Meh.

I need a shot or a pill or something. It should probably be legal but I'm almost willing to try something that borders on the edge, just to pull me out of my funk and back into appreciating every single day I get to live on this Earth...
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