Friday, February 25, 2011

My Week in Quotation Marks

"Just because tampons fly through the air really well does NOT give you the right to make them into rocket launchers!"

"I can swear as much as I want! When you pay the bills, you can swear, too. Until then; you are NOT allowed to chase your brother singing about the 'crapload of laundry' Mommy has left to finish, comprende?"

"I do NOT like your brother better than I like you, but today, you sure do make that difficult to say with an honest heart!"

"No playing with maxi pads, either!"

"Why is there glitter in my freshly washed bra? No, seriously. There's glitter in my bra. Who did this?"

"Put down the cat, Corinne! That yowling and thrashing he's doing? That means he doesn't like it!"

"I know, 'Tom Sawyer' sucks. You've told me. Repeatedly. Now read it."

"If you're going to sing the song, sing it correctly. It's not 'I'll teach your mama to crack eggs.' Trust me on this one."

"Hey, 5 year old: bring your momma her wine glass..."


"Is it Friday yet?
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