Despite what I may say, I really do enjoy scout camp. I DO. Swear to God. Hanging out with my kids and watching them interact with other boys doing boy stuff like shooting arrows and making milk jugs into masks is awesome and I look forward to it every year.
But.
(You know I had to have a big one of those, right?)
But, but, but: Exhaustion doesn't adequately describe my body's status. Between the hiking and head-counting and standing and sitting and SUNBURN after 4 hours at the water park, my poor little body is wiped out. I feel so... elderly.
Best part of the water park, hands down, is trying to comprehend the people who just don't seem to realize how they look in their bathing suits. I honestly believe that there is nothing wrong with a woman's stomach after having children. (well, except for my own which seems to have more wavy lines than a topical map of the Boundary Waters). I ALSO honestly believe that the rest of the world doesn't need to be shown how miraculous your body was by having your belly and rear not-so-daintily crammed into a string bikini meant for a 16 year old girl. Do they not realize that this only makes them LESS attractive? Trying to hold onto your youth (and dream of your former girlish figure) is the fastest way to appear OLDER than you are!
Don't even get me started on the men's trunks that ride at their cracks because their bellies push them down or the indecency of a man flaunting breasts larger than an A cup. Tie up the shorts and put on a shirt, fellas! I am not faulting you for being overweight. NOT AT ALL. But please try to have a little pride in your bathing attire. If not for yourself, than for my eyes; For the children's eyes, and For the LOVE OF GOD!
2 more days of camp. Gotta remember the sunscreen...
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3 comments:
I was just thinking the other day that if it is illegal for a woman to expose her breasts then it should be illegal for a man with breasts to flop them out for the world to see.
Ha ha, I am right there with you!!
Bahahhaah "man breasts". Here in Miami it's a completely different story because you go to the beach and all you see are perfect bodies and then you freak out and try to make a mental note to hit the gym more often but instead go eat McDonalds. Oh wait, that's just me.
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