Speaking Literally

I'll be at the Indy 500 this weekend, doing very little except drinking wine coolers and resting my bones in a cushy lawn chair. In order to keep your attention and possibly garner a few more votes for the Parents Choice awards (look to your right. It's that big, shiny button that you can click on to vote for me! EVERY DAY!), I decided to post a few of my favorite, funny posts. Enjoy!

Originally Posted in May 2009

"Speaking Literally"

It was a typical day for Evan. Recently, his attitude and mouth have gotten a little too big for his britches (love that phrase). After listening to yet another rude response to my request, he was sent to his room. (Ok, that is a nice way of saying he was in the backyard, yelling at me and I was at the back door yelling at him and all the neighbors were wondering at the banshee who can't control her child.)

I let that kid stew for quite some time. I smugly did the dishes, straightened up and then FINALLY strolled upstairs to do a lengthy lecture. I shook my finger and had very angry eyebrows as I reminded him that I AM THE QUEEN and what I say IS the Final Answer.

"I expect an apology, young man. A very long apology where you tell me why you're sorry and what you won't do again."

"Sorry."

"Oh no! I said a LONG APOLOGY! A loooooong one, kiddo."

Confused, he scrunched his face and smoke began to puff out of his ears from the concentration. With complete seriousness he tried to accommodate my specifications:

"Sooooorrrrrrryyyyy?"

Twitch.

Twitch, twitch.

Snort and snuffle. Keep your shit together! DO NOT LOSE IT!


I lost the battle and the tears flowed as we laughed our heads off.

Yet again, Evan's cuteness saved his butt.

Wonder how long that will work for him?