Thursday, May 20, 2010

A Bitchy rant that is in NO WAY influenced by my monthly cycle. Swear to God.

Playtex, I have a gripe to spew.

You know that contest you're running? The one where you offer a fabulous Bra Makeover? The one with the free trip to New York and lots of goodies? Yeah. That one.

Well, darling makers of bras and other unmentionables, I was actually pretty excited about your damn contest. I found the time to fill out your damn form; Even though I parent and homeschool 3 children. Even though my husband works nights and isn't home to help me for more than an hour a day. EVEN THOUGH I have loads and loads of other things I could be doing with my limited online time. Despite all of the above, I spent the precious time it took to fill out your form and link to a picture and write why I felt I would be a good candidate for your Bra Makeover. And it was GOOD. I laughed. I smiled. I nodded to myself that this witty paragraph just might catch your attention and get this particular Mom and wife a chance to win a special weekend to herself. I was excited that my bra collection of $10 sale undergarments purchased while my 3 kids stood in the underwear department of Wal-Mart might ACTUALLY be filled out with items that not only fit me well, but also make me LOOK good!

You can imagine my surprise when, at the end of the contest form, I read the fine print in the "terms and conditions" section. The fine print that states that this contest is not open to, and I quote:

Only female legal residents of the fifty (50) states of the United States and the District of Columbia who are twenty-one (21) years of age or older, and with bra sizes within the ranges of 36C to 50C, 32D to 50D, 34DD to 50DD, and 34DDD to 44DDD are eligible to apply for the Playtex Bra Makeover. Ladies with A and B cup sizes and with bra sizes outside these ranges are not eligible for the Playtex Bra Makeover.

Seriously?

SERIOUSLY?

You are honestly going to exclude me because I'm "small-chested?" AGAIN? Again the world is saying I'm not quite womanly enough because I only reach the letter B in the alphabet? As though I haven't struggled with this my whole life? As though the jokes about small boobs haven't chipped away at my confidence my entire life?

I'm sure there are plenty of reasons for your qualification. It's your damn contest; you can do what you want. But I don't care. You can rest assured that I will no longer consider the words "Playtex" in my bra purchases.

Just because my girls aren't enormous doesn't make me less of a woman or less deserving of a special treatment.

14 comments:

Sarah RDH said...

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a 34D, and I can never find a good bra. The bras I CAN find in my size are ALWAYS ugly, and eventually something rips out on it. The middle part, the wires come out, the straps...And yes, I've paid $50 for bars at VS and they do it too. So I stick to Bali from Kohls now. $20 and fall apart just as fast and are just as plain & ugly!! woohoo

Joy said...

OH!! That is so not fair!!

Unknown said...

From one B Cup to another, I stand and applaud!

Rebecca said...

I'm not eligible either due to having A/B cups. This is BS and I'm with you - Playtex just got on my "do not buy" list. Stupid mistake on their part. There are a LOT of us.

Mindy said...

I wish I was a B. By the time I was 14 I wore a 32F yes I said F. I am in my late 30s now and had a breast reduction were I begged to be a B....Sadly after remove 9.5 pounds I am just a C. I am teased and have spent my whole life(even today) being called titty wallace. I am so much more than my boobs! I am smart, funny and compasionate! I will no longer by from Playtex Because you are a great woman no matter how big or small your boobs are!

Mindy said...

Ok sorry for miss spelling my fingers are faster than my brain before the morning begins. I meant to say I will no longer BUY Playtex!

Unknown said...

Honestly? I can't say ANTYTHING without earning myself a rap across the knuckles.

Except.

You are pretty, smart and articulate - and that makes you attractive and sexy in my book.

Kamis Khlopchyk said...

That is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

And you have had jokes about the size of your chest? Seriously? Also ridiculous. And take it from me, as a fellow small chested gal, smaller is better! No bounce, less sag...what's to complain about!

Unknown said...

Get out of the city! That is discrimination for sure... Darn it!

Pregnantly Plump said...

That's crazy! I mean it's playtex, not the brand that specifically does bras for bigger chested women. (I'm with you size-wise, so I don't even know the name of that company.) Man. Guess I won't be entering either.

Issa said...

I have to tell you a funny story that has nothing really to do with your rant. So my cousins daughter is 19 and last week we were shopping at Kolhs and she is trying on clothes. Then she comes out and cries as she says, I think, I may now be a B cup. This is a great day. Her mom and I were rolling with laughter.

CaraBee said...

What kind of horsepuckie is that? Seriously. Why on earth would women who wear A and B cups be excluded? That makes no sense at all. Stupid Playtex.

Minnesota Mamaleh said...

oh dear! unfair indeed. although your post was *funny!* (does it bother you that i laughed throughout? b/c if it does, even a little, i can keep that part to myself!) thanks for the the rant. and it totally didn't give off any cycle vibes!

Anonymous said...

Holy Shit! I'm a B too and I will FOREVER boycott Playtex.

I thought they made tampons anyway.

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