Friday, January 15, 2010

Recently overheard in the house of JAMB...

"Mommy, why don't I have ruffles on my hands?"

"Eh? Wha?"

"Ruff. FULLS. Why don't I have RUFFLES on my hands? I have them on my arms and legs, but not my hands. Why not?"

Eyebrows at full mast, eyes scanning her arms and legs for supposed ruffles and finding none, I ask,
"Um... Can you show me some of these Ruffles?"

A look of utter exasperation at her incredibly naive and ignorant mother, she sharply points to several dots on her arms and legs.

"THESE, MOM-mmeeee! THESE RUFFLES. Why don't I have them on my hands?!?"

Grateful that I had already swallowed my coffee so that nothing was able to shoot out of my nose, I choked out my response of,

"FRECKLES? You turkey! You meant FRECKLES."

"Oh, yeah." giggles behind her hands like an utterly feminine, stereo-typical girly girl. "That's what I meant!"


Just moments ago, the playful laughter of my 3 kids allowed me time to peruse about 3% of the internet that I wanted to indulge in. Happy for the little things, I ignored the rise and fall of pleasure to indignation to utter joy to fury, begging the internet to "please search faster!", knowing that it would all come to an end when someone finally began to bleed. Instead, I was intrigued to overhear Evan's high-pitched demands upon his brother. I peeked into the room and saw him sitting on Justin's head. In a voice resembling some super-villain from the movies he roared,

"What's my favorite animal, fool?!? That's wrong! You don't know it, so you must paaaayyy!!" Mock punches to Justin's head resulted in hysterical laughter.

"What color underwear am I wearing, fool?!?"

"WHITE?!?" Justin managed to squeak out from under his brother's butt.

"WRONG AGAIN YOU FOOOOL!!!! I'm in pajamas so I'm not WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR!! MUwaaaHAAAAHaaaaa!!!!" More mock punches to Justin's head, followed by even more hysterical laughter.

I cautiously backed away, hoping that the blood wouldn't be shed after all, (seeing as how there were no weapons involved) and began to furiously type it all out, only to hear Corinne belting out,

"What's my name, FOOOOOL?!?"

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