Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Hell to the NO.

You know it's been a long, loooong time since you've been to the local mall when you walk inside and don't recognize half of the stores. I was distressed to see the book store was closing up, but you can't believe how high my eyebrows went when I saw the newest addition to the store line-up:

A Puppy Store.

Not a pet store. Not even a dog store. Nope. A Puppy Store. Complete with adorable, waggly balls of fluff that await your impulse purchase. Placed ever-so-carefully just between the playland and its nearest exit, the Puppy Store beckons to every family with smallish children to come on in! Adore our puppies! Support the inhumane breeding of pets!

That damn puppy store at the mall may be reason enough to never go there again. I could feel my resolve to remain Dog-Free begin to waver as their puppy-milled tails wagged so exuberantly that they knocked themselves over.

Corinne's nose was pressed against the glass; her breath fogging up our side while the pups slobbered on their side. I could practically see her mind spinning and envisioning the hours and hours of fun she could have with one of them; Tug-of-war with a sock! Wonderful walks to the park! Snuggles on the couch! Oh, the joy!!! Meanwhile, I was envisioning the holes in the laundry from tug-of-war! The forced walks through the howling snow and wind to the corner with a baggie to carry the poop! And the endless dog hair that would blend so nicely with the car hair that already coats every surface in my home...

"Oh Mommy! Can't we pleeeease get a dog? PLEASE? I love doggies so much! And they love me, too! They're so Cute!!"

Thankfully, I've survived through 2 other four-year-olds' pleas for a canine, and (cute or not) I KNOW how much work a dog entails. To that I say HELL NO. Potty-training another living creature? Committing to the care of yet ONE MORE "person" who not only won't pick up after themselves but will remain perpetually 3 years old in its abilities?!? Dogs are great and all, and there may come a day when I want to own one again, but the idea of being tied down to the house just when we're finally able to randomly leave the home regardless of naptimes, diaper bags and school schedules is not appealing to me. Not. At. All.

"How about we stop at Taco Bell instead?"

Her head tilted and lips pursed a bit. Giving the yapping beagle a quick glance, she grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door,

"Can I have one with hot sauce? But no tomatoes?"

Go wag your tail in some other direction, guys. This house is remaining Dog Free.
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