Money, Money, Money... So much of our lives are dedicated to the pursuit of, preservation of, and allocation of it. We all wish to instruct our kids in the best methods of earning, spending and saving their money. But when the question in your mind is no longer "How do I teach my kids to save/donate/spend wisely?" and is now "How do I explain that because of Daddy's job loss and the economic downturn, we can NOT buy new shoes? That 2 loaves of bread instead of 1 isn't in our budget?"
I know that we aren't the only family experiencing this horror. I know that countless other parents are also lying awake at night, fretting over not WHAT to buy for Christmas, but IF they can buy something for Christmas. Or if they will even have a home to celebrate within. This knowledge does nothing to ease my worries; in fact, it multiplies them! But it brings about a question that is ever-present in my mind:
When you find your family on the receiving side of charity, how do you teach your children to be grateful and accepting of help? How do you teach something that you have a hard time swallowing yourself?
It's an ongoing process. Every day, I attempt to maintain some semblance of calm, even when I walk into a room with the lights on and tv running, though there isn't anyone using that electricity. Each time I see a box of cereal spilled on the floor, I have to force my anger down my throat while I make them pick it back up and put it back into the box. It's important that my children don't live with a fear of not having food or electricity, but it's also important that they understand that these privileges are not a given. In our world's present situation? These are LUXURIES.
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13 comments:
Tracey, I have no advice, but I'm so sorry you're in this situation. You make excellent points, and I'm going to try and teach my kids those things because not having the lights on and the tv on are things we all should be working on. I know it's different where you're at, I know the motivation is different. Again, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's not fair. I admire your strength. I hope it helps, at least a little, to know people are out here supporting you.
Hey girlie, I'm going through the same thing here. My boys are big time food wasters and it just rubs me the wrong way...all the time...but more so lately since we absolutely cannot afford to be at all wasteful. I've been cutting back on the amount spent for Christmas for several years now but this year I've found myself making DRASTIC cutbacks due to our financial situation. I hope things get better soon. For everyone! This is just miserable. When times get bad though, I always think "nobody can take what's really important to me....my boys. They can have the cars, the house, even the dog but they can't take my kids" I wish I had some brilliant ideas for you but all I can offer is too keep you and your family in my prayers!
It isn't easy, teaching that to your kids. It isn't easy, teaching that to yourself, either. Annie and I learned a long time ago, though, that the source of the 'charity' makes a difference. Churches and other organizations are one thing - and the form of their 'charity' is often difficult to swallow. But sometimes, it's just a friend willing to help out a friend. And that's not 'charity'. That's just being a friend.
It's hard. It's hard to explain, and make them understand, without scaring them or getting mad.
I go through something like that every time Sarah comes back home with yet another ripped pair of jeans. Here jeans are not 10 bucks a pop, there is no target!! the cheapest pair is 30 bucks. I cannot keep buying jeans every month!
I'm sorry, I don't have any tips. But I can sympathize. My husband didn't lose his job, but we live in a country where the cost of living is very high, and just this morning I found myself not having enough cash for all I needed to get, because my card wasn't charged yet.
For what is worth, I don't think that Christmas is about presents. We are only getting small presents this year, and trying to do more holiday-related activities instead. maybe getting some small stocking stuffers and packaging each one like an individual present? Kids like to unwrap best, anyway. Mine do, at least.
such hard lessons to teach. I think the only thing we can do is lead them by the example that we set. Praying for you guys, this is just a season!
I have been in your spot, but not with kids. And we have extra, but not an abundance right now. I have been trying to have conservations about what they need versus want. I remember being so thankful for someone else's outpouring of generosity - even if it was a hard pill to swallow.
When the housing market took a huge leap of a cliff a few years ago we went through this. We sold our house for nothing and moved into an apt for a year and a half. For me my kids were young enough to not really understand, my oldest is 5. The last 2 Christmas's we different than usual ones but the kids didn't seem to care they had fun playing with their cousins and eating candy. Seriously my daughters favorite present was her new notebooks which were from the dollar section at target.
Realizing the housing market was not getting any better we made a huge lifestyle change and my husband went into a different type of work.
Sadly I think this is the circle of life one minute you are up and the next minute you are at the bottom of the circle.
I think kids are resilient and understand more than we give them credit for. Your family is beautiful and as long as you have eachother and keep the faith that things will turn around soon it will be okay. I hope things start to look way up for you all this new coming year. Merry Christmas Tracey.
Just don't beat yourself up. What you're going through is hard enough.
Try to have compassion for yourself. Seriously.
It's good enough. It's the best you can do. Of course you're angry. and you can breathe and in the worst moments say "I wish I would've handled that differently. See Mommy's make mistakes, too" I find myself saying that all. the. time.
I really hope things get better for you. It's tough out there right now...but you are one of the good ones. Sending {{hugs}}
oh boy, I do get it. I shower at my gym instead of at home. Been cleaning my own home for well over a year now. need a new car, the porch is rotting...I agonize over every dollar and I'm tired of it. But, I have a home and food right now and I just tell my kid, times are tough and we just can't have everything we want. End of story
Hang in there, Tracey. It must be tough right now.
It is hard to watch children be wasteful.
I think we teach our children how to be grateful by our actions. If we act thankful for the kindnesses we receive, I am sure they pick up on that.
And if not, there's always the belt. Beat it into 'em, I say.
Merry Christmas, my sweet Tracey, I hope things look up soon!
I struggle with this too. It is quite a delicate balance teaching kids financial responsibilities while not totally freaking them out. I hope things get easier.
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