Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Apparently you CAN put the wrong bag in, provided you use electrical tape...

I just couldn't take it any longer. The tree is DOWN. The dry-as-a-bone, needle-free-branched fire hazard of death tree is awaiting the trash pick up in the slush by the curb. Is there anything more depressing than a discarded Christmas tree?

Of course, once the tree had been undecorated and heaved through the front door (by my lonesome because I am SuperWoman) I was confronted with the Worst Aspect of Christmas ever: post-tree needle duty. Oy vey. I was wearing my new cozy red socks and knit pajama bottoms which were both magnetically attracted to the lovely green needles of agony. Every step I took resulted in being impaled in any number of appendages. Yeowch! Knowing that my vacuum wouldn't be happy with me if I started sucking them all right up, I decided to sweep my carpet and eliminate a majority of the debris. It went pretty well, and I worked up quite the calorie-burning sweat. Bonus! (Except I hadn't showered. Bummer...)

I lugged the vacuum to the kitchen and peeked inside to assess the space left in the bag and found (not to my surprise) that it was full well beyond the "Do Not Fill Above This Line" line. Damn. Ok, ok. So the bag got tossed into the trash and I crossed all of my fingers that I would find the appropriate bag for this particular vacuum cleaner. You see, we have had several vacuums over the years and no two have ever used the same bag types (naturally). But when you replace a vacuum cleaner, what do you do with the surplus bags? Toss them out?!? Well, NO. Of COURSE NOT. You keep them, just in case you need them for another cleaner! Or, in a situation as I was in, to jerry-rig them into the vacuum cleaner that they DON'T fit into because your carpet is coated in needles, despite your attempts to "sweep" them up.

It actually worked, you know. The suction was fine, and there was nary an electrical spark that resulted in any fires or deaths or anything. I'm quite the successful handyman, eh?
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