Monday, August 10, 2009

Like Miralax for the Mind

I want to change my outlook. I realized that most of my posts as of late have focused on the negatives. "No money! Hard hours! My life doesn't SUCK, but wah wah wah it's not EAAAASYYY!!! Pity me, wah wah wah..." Yeah, it's not been pretty, has it?

You have my apologies. My blog is most definitely a glimpse into my heart and mind. If my heart and mind are that centered on the crappy elements in my otherwise good life, then I obviously need a good kick in the ass.

I want to have a more positive attitude. And I want to be able to do this ALL the time. Or at least MOST of the time... Is that really possible?

Let me sip my coffee and brew on that for a moment....

Ok, Here's my reflection: I CAN be positive. In fact, I'm sure of it. (I love ironic puns, don't you?) But if I am to make this work, I must also allow myself to feel the valleys. I cannot ignore the emotions that come naturally to me. Blocking sadness or discouragement will only make me fill with repressed emotions. And trust me when I say that getting backed up on ANYthing in your life will only land you in the emergency room getting treated for constipation to the tune of thousands of dollars.

I'm thinking of a daily gratitude journal thing. But Oprah did that, and I don't want to seem like I'm one of her minions (unless you are here from Oprah's site and want to interview me on my highly original and brilliant takes on the world and parenting. Then, by all means, CALL ME! I'm TOTALLY a fan!) But I do believe that I can commit to a month of writing down at least 1 thing (or more! I'm open to very, very happy days!) a day that I am truly grateful for. And while I will try to make each day a new item, I won't beat myself up for repeating once in a while.

Damn. The writing in this post sucks.

Shit. That's not positive, is it? Aaarrrggghh!! This isn't going to be easy.

OK! Shaking it off! Gratitude Day Numero Uno:

I am grateful for...

... my coffee and the fact that there's a full pot waiting for me...
... it's Monday so we'll see Patrick for a few more hours tonight....
... seeing my nieces and nephew this weekend. I'm not playing favorites, but my godson is freakin adorable right now. He made me laugh and laugh and laugh...
... air conditioning. Yes, it will cost us a pretty penny, but with a heat index of over 115 this week, we NEEDED the a/c. Not all families even HAVE one...
... Patrick agreed to homeschooling Evan this year. We're giving it a full year of honest effort. I think he deserves the chance to have the experience. I'm so glad Pat is willing to try again...


On that note, I am off to spread my Pollyanna attitude to all of you lovelies. Get ready to puke from perkiness!
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