Motherhood has an overabundance of "Fine Print" that no one encouraged you to read when you first murmured, "..we're thinking of starting a family..."
Fine print like a ten year old who flips OUT on you in the car. And you honestly don't know why. And you proceed to remain calm until, well, until YOU flip out. And you set a FABULOUS example for the 2 younger children who are witnessing this Ultimate Flip Out Session, ensuring yourself a future of at least 10 more years of people Flipping Out on you. Stellar.
Fine Print like having to watch a 3 year old who can quite LITERALLY give her Papa a heart attack if she continues to leap from the swing at the top of its arc at the park. Which she WILL continue to do because, well, because she is a reincarnated acrobat. It's in her nature to fling herself from high places.
Fine Print like having a heart attack of your OWN as your 7 year old dashes from behind a bushy tree across a very, VERY busy street WITHOUT LOOKING THE ENTIRE TIME!! (In situations like this, I find that the extremely tight ear hold is a good method for Getting Their Attention NOW. You can't bruise the ear and it opens the canal up for a good, strong scolding.)
Fine Print like having the POWER of the PARENT to turn the wrong way into your neighborhood so that you can keep listening to "Come On Eileen", even though your son is squealing that he hates that song.
Muwaaahaaaahaaa!!! Payback is a beeeyatch, kiddo!
I drove around the block. I went suuuuuper slow. I cranked that volume and SANG IT BABY! Super cool groovy chick, was I.
Though the song wasn't over, we creeped into our driveway where I proceeded to keep the song on (while holding Justin's arm back). Using the interior lights as a strobe, Evan and I ROCKED IT OUT. (Corinne, as is typical of my children, slept through it all).
All of the day's frustrations were forgotten as Mommy and kids be-bopped with abandon...
Sometimes, the Fine Print isn't so bad.
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3 years ago