And as you squint in frustration, tapping your chin, unable to formulate a complete thought, it strikes you: A-ha! Yes. That is the problem:
That is the missing piece. Your balancing weight. That which keeps you sane. The half of your heart that has left your warm embrace and comfy bed for the freezing winds and smelly fish of a Canadian "resort."To say that I miss Patrick doesn't do it justice. I am existing, yes. I am thriving, true. Many a joyous moment has occurred this week, and we survived without him. But every day, as I try to close my eyes and sink into sleep, this feeling of unrest returns. My day isn't complete until I hear his voice. I need to bury my face in his neck and breathe in his scent while his embrace threatens to crush my ribcage.
The mere thought of what life would be like, if it were to be like this, all the time? Crushes me. Envelopes me in a melancholy so dark, that I literally shake my head to rid it. That is not a situation that one can allow themselves to wallow within.
And so, I will pop in a light, silly movie. I will view, once again, the footage of Corinne dancing and Justin fencing. I'll review pictures of Evan being silly and the beauty of this week while trying not to notice the face that is absent...
Only 48 hours to go...
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15 comments:
Oh my goodness I nearly cried for you! You paint an amazing picture of love and longing.
I totally understand the missing and unbalanced feeling. That is exactly how i feel when Dave is not around or we are fighting.
Glad you enjoyed the video, such a hoot! It has kept me on my toes all day. The guy with the orange guitar...too funny!
Have a good night and I hope the next 48 hours fly by!
I think about this too sometimes. How I would survive if I lost him, how bleak and grey my life would be. You expressed it so well.
What a sweet tribute to your hubby! I try not to think about the what ifs of life without my husband, it's just too painful.
My guy has been out of town this week too. He should be home in a few hours. The worst part of when he works out of town is when the kids kind of forget and come running into a room yelling, "Dad?" because they want to tell him something.
And it's less than 48 hours now, right?
I hope time passes quickly for you now!
Ian traveled to Hartford yesterday and didn't get home this morning until 2:30. I tried to insist he stay in a hotel instead of driving back that late, but he wouldn't hear of it. All I could think about was him falling asleep at the wheel and getting into a major car accident and leaving me to raise three kids alone.
He did make it home, thankfully, but I didn't sleep a wink until he did (actually, I didn't sleep b/c Bridget was up 5 times). But I often think what life would be like without him around all the time, and that's a horrible place to go . . .
That is so sweet that you miss him so much! Keep busy and he'll be home before you know it.
Kailani
An Island Life
You ought to write one of those longing romance novels...beautiful post.
Now that was a sweet post!
I hope these 48 hours go quickly. What a beautifully written post. Aren't we blessed to have such remarkable men in our lives?
That is so incredibly sweet.
Aww that's so sweet. Nice reminder oh all the important stuff.
Yeah I don't do well when the mister is away. Bad t.v., too much dessert, it's awful.
How well I know this...sadly, it's an everyday part of life for us in the military. *sigh* Hope your final hours pass quickly!! :)
Aw- I hope you are enjoying together time by now again!
Steph
My husband had to go on a boy scout thing last night, and I can barely make it through ONE NIGHT without him.
Great post!
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