Thursday, September 11, 2008

Only 48 hours

You know that confused feeling you get, where you wander about the house, biting your lip, looking for something? Yet you can't put your finger on just what it is you were looking for? Something's amiss. Something's just not quite... right. Nothing is wrong, but you're unbalanced, nonetheless.

And as you squint in frustration, tapping your chin, unable to formulate a complete thought, it strikes you: A-ha! Yes. That is the problem: That is the missing piece. Your balancing weight. That which keeps you sane. The half of your heart that has left your warm embrace and comfy bed for the freezing winds and smelly fish of a Canadian "resort."

To say that I miss Patrick doesn't do it justice. I am existing, yes. I am thriving, true. Many a joyous moment has occurred this week, and we survived without him. But every day, as I try to close my eyes and sink into sleep, this feeling of unrest returns. My day isn't complete until I hear his voice. I need to bury my face in his neck and breathe in his scent while his embrace threatens to crush my ribcage.

The mere thought of what life would be like, if it were to be like this, all the time? Crushes me. Envelopes me in a melancholy so dark, that I literally shake my head to rid it. That is not a situation that one can allow themselves to wallow within.

And so, I will pop in a light, silly movie. I will view, once again, the footage of Corinne dancing and Justin fencing. I'll review pictures of Evan being silly and the beauty of this week while trying not to notice the face that is absent...

Only 48 hours to go...
Post a Comment
Related Posts with Thumbnails