Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Bittersweet sighs...

I recently read a post by a pretty popular mom that left me scratching my head and saying "Is she right? Am I the oddball out? Am I wrong for feeling offended?" I hate questioning myself like that!

Basically, the post made a very funny, snarky comment towards all mothers that are wistful for the baby days. She said that she hated it when "seasoned" moms would sigh over her young children at the store "You'll miss the sleepless nights...because they grow up so fast." She is in the midst of 2 young kids and another baby on the way and, apparently, had collicky babies. I can understand why she is not wistful for those days as she is still in the trenches of new motherhood. And blogs are for venting! I totally respect that right and would have normally gone about my merry way without commenting (or writing a whole post about it!) if it hadn't been for a small comment left by another mom.

This other mom (of 2 adult children) sounded so upset in her 5 lines of a response. She sounded offended, as I felt, and I wondered: "Will this post possibly stop a mother of older children from trying to be helpful to other young moms? Will this post make her second-guess herself when she sees young children and feels wistful?"

I certainly hope not. To me, that would be a pitiful loss. Just because one person experiences an extremely collicky baby, doesn't mean that every parent has the same feelings of complete frustration and exhaustion! For not all mothers of young kids have as hard of a time as this blogger was feeling. Not all mothers really, TRULY "get it" when their kids are little. I know that I try my hardest to "seize the day" everyday but even with my eyes wide open and aware of the speed of time, it still slips by!

My hope is that anyone who might have read the post I am referencing will take her comments with a grain of salt and realize that more young mothers will benefit from the bittersweet sighs of an older mother than those who might take it with offense.

Because seriously? I would SO turn back the clock to do it all over again! I treasure every memory I have, even the rotten ones with poop flying everywhere and migraines and dashed expectations. Let me go there again to hold their tiny bodies and smell their tiny scents... As much as I ADORE the ages my children are right now, I will always be yearning to feel the weight of my sleeping babies on my chest while the rest of the world sleeps. And it is only s/he and I. And we are breathing in and out together. And no one else matters but the sleeping child covering and filling my heart...

Newborn Evan in the only position he would sleep in for the first few months. And yes, I AM crying as I look upon that picture...

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