Gasping, clutching moments... The ones that jump out at you for no apparent reason... The ones that make you shake with the reality that life is so fragile, so temperamental.
These moments usually hit me hard after a day like yesterday. As I lay my daughter to sleep, I hold her close for just a bit longer and breathe in.... And clasp her just a bit too tightly, and look gratefully into her eyes. The need to hold them so close, that they're enveloped within me, that they are a part of me physically again, as they are so much a part of me emotionally, is like a tidal wave. It just knocks you over and carries you away.
I felt, again, the pain of mothers throughout time. Those who have lost their babies and those who have felt this fear of loss. The unfathomable for some that is so heart-wrenchingly real for others...
I suppose it is because of moments like these that I can say "screw the stupid stuff" and enjoy life for what it is, right now. I am grateful that I go through these episodes of desperate aching so that I can slap myself over getting so upset over spilled milk, and just get on with loving my family.
And on that note, I have to get the kids off to school and then Corinne and I are having a girls' day (well, morning) out. We're going to play at the mall, drink fancy coffee (she gets the whipped cream) and I'll even get her an overpriced cookie that I always tell her she can't have. Perhaps a few presents will get bought, perhaps not. I'm just happy to get out of the house!
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13 comments:
There must have been something in the air yesterday... I was making gingerbread and started to think about my kids and what I would do without them. I cried.
So glad you get a girl's morning out with your sweet girl today!
I have those moments too where I imagine what it would be like to lose one of my babies... really it's unimaginable and that makes my heart break for anyone who has to actually live with that loss.
And then I go and yell over spilled milk.
I am an old dog and apparently don't learn new tricks too easily.
:-)
hope this new day is a better one.
whipped cream helps. :)
I thought your post was really profound, made me get a tear in my eye. The love that a mother feels for her children is a love like no other. That bond, that connection, is so special! I think it's great that you make the time to do special things like shop and have "coffee" together. Hope you two have a wonderful time!
That sounds like a perfect, perfect morning. I hope it put any worries to rest.
hope you girls had fun this morning!
Hope you had a good day - I loved this post. Take care. Kellan
Great post. I have these moments too, especially when I'm rocking my daughter before putting her in her crib. I feel so incredibly blessed to be a mother, and you're so right: these moments keep you grounded and focused on the bigger picture, as opposed to the daily struggles all moms go through.
Have a wonderful day with your girl.
I loved this post as I have felt all those emotions so many times.
Sounds like a beautiful moment you had with Corinne.
I...
Just cherish every overpricedcookiebuyingjusthangingoutatthemall moment.
I agree. It's so important to try and stay focused on how blessed we really are.
Kailani
An Island Life
Yep. We've gone through some tough times lately, but we always remind ourselves that our girls are happy and healthy, and that's far better than some are doing.
It's important to put everything in perspective sometimes.
sounds like you had a perfect girls' day planned!
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