Thursday, April 26, 2007

Popularity

ME, in regular Mommy clothes. In the only picture taken of me (alone) in six rolls. Taken by my 5 year old...

I wonder at myself, at times. WHY do I blog? Is it truly for the journalling aspect (as I claim) or is it a desperate plea for attention (as so eloquently put here) ? Both, obviously. But, while I enjoy the camaraderie of other people who are also desperate for attention, I hate that I get this high school popularity feeling at times. Not from you guys, my LOYAL readers! No. Just a personal thing. And I have to consciously remind myself that this is the INTERNET for cryin out loud. I have REAL friends (believe it or not) and a family to take care of and love. Why am I spending so much time waiting for someone to qualify my thoughts with a comment or response to my little posts? Does it really matter if you guys like what I have to say? Does it really matter if someone thinks my "mommy blog" is stupid and inconsequential and I should get some other interests?

NO! I am who I am. This time and stage in my life will only last for a brief moment. A flicker of babyhood, preschool and grade school before POOF! It's gone. They're grown. They're off to their own lives and families and I don't want to be wishing I'd cuddled or laughed with them more. I don't want to spend my time thinking of celebrities and politics that don't interest me. I am not a gossip whore, I don't look for or needle for information. You want to share a secret with me? Cool. I'll keep it forever. But I need to get back on track with myself. No more need to validate my thoughts. No more feeling the need to post comments more often, to make some "friends." And, with that note, I am off to see what the baby is up to "I wash. I wash." which could mean a variety of things... None of them terribly good.

Oh, and if you've noticed a lot of posts showing as new, well, I've been doing a bit of editing to protect any feelings of people that may read this from my real life. It's obvious to me that the lines of the internet and RL are starting to cross, so I took necessary precautions ( Not that I was ever mean! Just leaving out some stuff that might be questionable).

And it has been raining for 2 days now. While I APPRECIATE that the new baby veggies are getting watered naturally, I would also appreciate being able to walk to school to work off these late night ice cream feasts I've been having... So. Isn't she cute in her raincoat?

"Go ouuuSIIIddeeee???Pease?"

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