See Saw

Homeschooling a twelve-year-old is like riding a see-saw all day long.

Wheeeee!!! He is so responsible and able! He can do SO MUCH with limited assistance from his mom! I am flying high! There is laughter and cooperation and I am a great mom and he is a fantastic pre-teen! This ROCKS!

CRASH.

The metal bar of the teeter totter bruises my tailbone as my counter balance just jumped off at the ground level; I think I laughed too loudly or didn't appreciate his skills and, instead of a gentle glide to the Earth, he chose to simply abandon our ride and leave me in the dirt. My head aches, my back is twisted. I am shocked at how badly this person can rock me to my core and I can feel the tears pooling up behind my eyes. Have I completely misread our lives? Am I actually a horrible, shitty mother? Through my tears, I can see the fury in his eyes. This sucks. THIS SUCKS BALLS.

And then...

I am slowly elevated a few inches off the ground... He is there, on the other side, pulling it down with his hands, and then lofting himself onto the seat. The fury is forgotten, at least by him, and I am in the air again. He and I cooperate and the see-saw is smoothly shifting, up and down. It is...good, but I am cautious. Is it real? Can it last? When will he leap from his seat again?

Parenting a pre-teen or teenager is full of insanely beautiful highs and soul-crushing lows. This particular 24 hours has been quite the ride and I'm feeling a little sore.