I got this photo and a few others in my inbox this morning from my sister.
My first thoughts were, "Aww. Cute baby! I wonder whose it is?"
And then I thought, "Why is she sending ME these pictures? I don't know anyone who just had a baby, do I?"
I wracked my brain, trying to figure out who this kid belonged to but came up empty. I began to get frustrated with my sister that she didn't say "Hey so and so had a baby!" I mean, it's kind of rude, right? I definitely needed to send her a snarky email. I really enjoy sending those. I'm pretty good at it, too.
As I began composing a masterpiece of sarcasm, I opened the second email she sent me and found these pictures:
And then I paused.
Ho.Lee. Crap. That baby... That baby was EVAN. My own child, and I didn't recognize him?!?
My email was hugely shortened to just 2 sentences:
"Oh my God. I didn't even know it was Evan at first!"
I waited for her comments to follow with justified taunting at my fantastic mothering abilities.
"Do you mean the baby or the toddler? That's Corinne! You can see her little line of her birthmark on her head. I was 6 months pregnant, that's why my face is so fat.*"
I win. I win alllll the awards. I win all of the prizes. It's official: I am the World's Worst Mother. Though the credit should not fall solely upon my shoulders. I am happy to thank everyone who made this possible. You know, the little people. Without you, none of this would be possible. You know who you are.
All 3 of you.