I'll bet this isn't the picture people were expecting when they Googled "topless"...

There are moments in Life when you realize certain things about yourself.

I knew I really was super short when everyone else could reach the top shelf and I needed a stool.

It became crystal clear to me that I have serious issues with authority figures when I felt the urge to strangle a lactation consultant who had opinions about me that she was voicing in the hallway. She was soooo lucky that I'd had an episiotomy and couldn't run out there or else I'd have used all of that New Mama hormone flux to knock her stupid little trap shut.*

This week, I had a luxury hotel room allll to myself for the evening while at a sponsored event (more on that later). It became crystal clear to me that I was officially Old when my idea of a "good time" was to finish crocheting my ridiculously soft scarf while watching Jay Leno.

I mean, who brings yarn to downtown Chicago when they have a hotel room to themselves?!?

Old ladies; that's who.**

 A club that I have apparently jumped into with both feet and crochet hook in hand.

FYI, for future references: when jumping with a crochet hook, be sure to wear eye protection.

ANYway, the scarf was finished and lovely and looks great and I decided last night that I needed to learn how to make a hat. A HAT! A hat to match my scarf!!!

I must have read the directions wrong...

It's just a wee bit snug for my own head, but Barbie really pulls off the whole "topless beret" look well, doesn't she? Is there a market for itty bitty berets on Etsy?

*Hmmm... I am apparently still harboring some residual resentment towards her. This is disturbing on a whole other level...

**And Brandie. I'll bet Brandie is nodding in agreement right about now that this sounded like a FABULOUS evening. She gets me.