Thursday, November 15, 2012

A look across a crowded room...

You know what I miss about having babies? Besides the obvious answers:

~ delicious smelling cheeks and shoulders
~ Skin so soft that I would literally rub my face all over them, just to absorb their youthful texture
~ that heavenly weight upon my chest after they'd fall into a perfect, blissful sleep; completely trusting and adoring of me and my abilities to keep them alive and happy from one day to the next...

All of that was lovely. It truly was. And I crave those physical aspects of parenting a baby every. single. day.

But there is a more subtle aspect of parenting young ones that I miss. I never expected it. I never even thought of it as something TO be missed. Because it was such a pervasive part of the beginnings of parenthood that it didn't occur to me that it would ever be, well, gone...

I miss that knowing glance that I would exchange with another woman when I'd walk into a room with a baby or toddler in my arms. If baby would cry or laugh or wrap his arms around my neck, we moms would know. We'd wistfully smile and conversations would be struck up. A camaraderie was immediately felt and a bond was created over that brief look.

I miss being on the receiving end of the grace that is extended to parents of young ones...

Care to make a wager on how many wistful and yearning smiles across a crowded room I receive nowadays with a teen, a tween and a 7 year old?  If a smile is exchanged, it's because I've attacked another unsuspecting mama and infant. I still get strange looks from that poor new mom who let me hold her 2 month old while we waited for homeschool co-op to finish; instead of me being helpful by freeing up her arms for a few minutes, she got to witness tears and snot pouring from my face because "Oh My God! A baby! And my babies are so big!!!" I swear to God, it was mortifying. I cannot control my emotions around new babies anymore....

That said, there IS a sense of unity between the moms of older kids. We share similar battle scars and there is plenty to be joyful over when parenting children and teens instead of infants and toddlers...

But I really, truly miss those precious looks and moments...
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