Friday, August 20, 2010

A Right of Passage

"Ok, guys. I have a really cool surprise for you!"

"What is it?"
"Do we have ice cream for dessert?"
"Are we going on vacation?"
"Did you buy a puppy?"
"Oh! A puppy!?! YAAAAAY!!!!"
"I hope it's not a big puppy!"
"Yaaaaaayyy!!"

Much jumping up and down and clapping of hands ensued.

"No! No, no, no! Guys, it's not a puppy! Or a vacation. Or even ice cream. It's just, well, it's this."

I feebly waved the dvd from Netflix in my hand.

"See? This movie. Heh. Yay...."

Sad faces. Many hanging lower lips at the loss of their mythical puppy. Shoot, not even any ice cream!

"What movie is it?"

"You're going to LOVE it. It's a CLASSIC COMEDY!! It's hilarious!"

Valiant efforts at making my face very reassuring and excited.

" 'Classic' means black and white. It better not be black and white."
"Is it appwopwiate for little kids, too?" (yes, my 4 year old says this. Cracks me up.)

"It's for the whoooole family! Even Daddy!"

"Yaaaaaay!!"

I finally had their enthusiasm again.

We set up the family room floor with blankets and pillows and all cuddled around the television. I popped the dvd in and, what should appear but a black and white introduction with milk men driving 1950's trucks.

Kids faces = NOT amused.

"This is black and white!!!"
"I don't like this!"

Giggling behind my hand, I assured them "You'll like it, I swear! Just wait and see!!"

I continued to giggle through the credits and crack up when the black and white show runs to a stop and a British voice apologizes for the mistake. I burst out laughing.

Kids faces = Confused.

"It's Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail! You guys are going to LOVE THIS!"

My glee was palpable. Theirs was not.

Justin managed a few giggles through the whole introduction credits with the moose and the llamas and the sacking of everybody. Evan and Corinne were scratching their heads but they can't read that fast, so I hadn't expected it. Also, it was kind of hard for them to understand what I was reading aloud because I was laughing and snorting with such gusto.

Sadly, it was all downhill after the credits. Corinne fell asleep halfway through and Justin continued to be confused by their accents and political humor. Also, the fact that I found every little detail freaking HILARIOUS may have put him off a bit.

"Why is that funny, Mommy?"

"Because... gasp... it's a coconut! TIED to a SWALLOW!!! Bwaaahaaaa!!! Get it? The swallow?!? GET IT?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And, and... they're going to burn her because... gasp... she weighs the same as a DUCK! Bwaaaaahaaaa!!!"

Their faces = Not getting it.

By the time Sir Gallahad was encountering the 150 maidens between the ages of 16 and 19 1/2 (Oh my gosh, I had TOTALLY forgotten about the spanking and oral sex joke. Insert very loud coughing and clapping of hands at that part. Oops! Bad Mommy Moment), we had lost them, though Evan still claims to like the battle scenes which, DUH. What 8 year old boy wouldn't love battle scenes involving flying barnyard animals and black knights without any appendages?

Sigh... So, out of 3 kids, I have 2 who give Monty Python's Holy Grail two thumbs' down and 1 who gives it 1 up, 1 down.

At least I still have the dvd! I can watch it again today, ALLLL by myself if I want!!!

I am much more of a nerd than may have been previously obvious. Between the dance video and my movie tastes, it must be glaringly clear that I was never a cheerleader in high school, eh?
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