"Shhhh! Don't bother me! I'm online and waiting for to see if I win this item on Ebay!"
"But I want to check insert name of random online game that my kid plays but I really don't know what it is because I am a slacker-mom who skips happily from the room when my kids are online and not bugging me! I want to see how to get to level blah-blah-blah!!"
"Silence! I kill you! I mean it! I want to be sure I win this. There are 14 minutes left and this other guy really wants it! Goway!"
"Oh! You're going to win something? What is it?!? Is it for me?"
"It's schoolbooks and yes they're for you and I WANT TO WIN so GIT!GIT!GIT!"
He slumped out of the room and I continued to frantically update my browser every 30 seconds, just waiting to see that villainous stranger even attempt to take the right to purchase The Story of the World Volume 3 with activity book INCLUDED. Just TRY, mister....
Shoot. Up another 3 bucks. I can TOTALLY swing that and it's still a great deal! No problem.
But, hmmm. Maybe I should up it a little further? Like, another 6 or so, that way he won't have a CHANCE of winning! Ha HA! I know! I'll up it SEVEN dollars and ONE CENT so that they will have even LESS of a chance of figuring out my sneaky method of getting exactly what I want!
I SHALL PREVAIL and WIN!!
(Seriously - That was the LONGEST 14 minutes of my LIFE.* But Mr. a*****h lost and I WON!)
I WON! I WON!
And now?!? After all that stress and worry?!? After the victory dance I executed around my living room?
I get to overpay for history books...
I am so talented at this Ebay gig.
*Besides childbirth. Because that wasn't so much fun, to be honest.**
**Though I definitely enjoyed the power behind birthing babies. I've a bit of a martyr complex, obviously.
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