So, when your kid makes a friend at the mall play area,
and you and his dad start chatting and realize that you live in the same neighborhood,
and that you're both home full-time,
and the kids beg to eat with their "new best friend" at the food court,
so you do,
and you get along really well,
and thinking you should get the kids together to play again,
and all of a sudden you're saying "See ya later"
but you feel weird about asking for a guy's phone number,
so you don't,
and then you are kicking yourself as they walk away, because HELLLOOO??? A new friend!! Give him your number, you freak!!
...Is that sexism?
It just felt ODD to ask for his phone number!! I didn't want to offend his wife. I have never asked for a man's phone number that I wasn't intending on dating, so, um... AWKward!!
Sigh. I guess I can just hope we meet up again on some off chance, because Corinne needs some real friends. Some friends that she makes on her own, that are her own age, that like her for who she is, not just because their parents are friends.
On a side note, regarding that play area... Corinne had her first real experience with snobbery/bullying. :( It had to happen someday, right? I was very proud of myself for not walking over and clonking those boys' heads together when they wouldn't let Corinne into the toy boat because she was a GIRL. But I was even prouder of my daughter when she let those rugrats know, in no uncertain terms, that she was getting into that boat.
OH YES SHE WAS. And no bossy BOY was going to make her feel bad. OH NO THEY WEREN'T! She even had her hands on her hips with her eyebrows at full mast.
They moved...
And she confidently climbed in to play the sinking ship game.
My baby girl. Giving me a glimpse of the strong woman she will become...
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23 comments:
i had the same type of experience with meeting a DAD, i was with my 2 girls at a play museum in my area and my girls started playing with another little girl. she was there with her dad (it was the weekend), we started chatting and we actually exchanged numbers, he does work but they were new to the area so it was more for his wife that we exchanged, but i felt very funny coming home and telling hubby.
It's not sexism, really - my husband would be... unimpressed... if I started hanging out with a guy, for whatever reason. And my marriage nearly ended over my husband's platonic friendship with another woman. It's best to avoid any risks like that altogether - although if you DO run into him again, you could maybe tell him when the local play group hours are or whatever so the girls can play together. That would be different.
Wow! This is so interesting and so not something I've ever had to even consider. I can totally see why you'd feel weird about getting the number. I think it might be up to you though. I imagine it must be even harder for a guy to ask for a woman's. I don't think you need to feel like it's sexist. I mean, you're right - previously it's always been for dating purposes. I think stay at home dads have it pretty rough. It must be so isolating. Even more so than it is for us.
And you go, C!
I would have felt uncomfortable giving a married man my phone number as well. Hopefully you will run into him again!
Good girl not letting those stinky boys push her around!
I would feel really weird about asking a man for his phone number; I don't think that's sexist at all, or even odd. On the other hand, you want to encourage the friendship between the girls...oh bother. I don't have a good answer here. I got nuthin'.
Best,
Mrs. No Help At All
I think I might feel a little awkward coordinating playdates with another dad, especially when the kids are still at the age when you actually stay with them during the playdate. If the roles were reversed and it was my husband meeting with a neighborhood mom and her kid, I might be a little . . . weirded out. But I think that's just the reality of it.
Oh, and I can totally picture Corinne giving those boys the "what for."
Way to go, Corinne! I wouldn't have gotten his number either. Maybe it's sexism, but my husband probably wouldn't be so thrilled if I was hanging out with some guy during the day. Too bad, but that's how the cookie crumbles.
Yeah, I would also feel pretty weird asking for or giving my phone number to a guy. I personally wouldn't want to put myself in that situation. It's not that I don't trust myself, or that my husband doesn't trust me, but I just wouldn't go there.
Hey, way to go Corrine for sticking it to those boys!! Yeah!
That is too cute about your daughter!! Yep...no bullying around here!! Have a great week!
Not sexism. Just being a concerned wife.
Hopefully you will be able to meet up again and if you do, then why not exchange email addresses. That way you can send a short polite email about when you are going to be at the play place again and see if he and his kids are able to meet up.
I think I would have felt weird asking a guy for his number too. Hopefully you'll run into him again.
Way to go Corinne! She DOES have older brothers to teach her the ropes! LOL. Those boys must've been shocked that this pretty little pink thing was standing her ground!
I say ask! If he fells its weird, he'll tell you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Besides...we all know that even the potential for a playdate (i.e.-an hour or two sitting with no getting up) is worth the potential for rejection.
I have to say that I would feel weird too Tracey. I would not be overly impressed if my husband starting hanging out with some woman who had kids the same age as ours...but on the other hand what is wrong with playdates...once you get to the know them anyway, where the kids just play?
Go Corrine! I suppose having two older brothers is helping isn't it?!
:)
Good job, Corinne!
I feel the same way. And had a similar experience weeks ago.
It is a little weird. I agree.
I would have been the same. It just feels weird with a guy. It's something I try to overcome though because being the stay at home parent can be lonely and just imagine if every other parent you met didn't want to hang cos you were the wrong sex!
I'm going against the tide and saying you should have asked for it. Perhaps I feel that way because my husband wouldn't have an issue with it. Just as I don't have an issue with him having female friends. And my husband has been known to bring home possible play date phone numbers for me. However, I do recognize that every marriage has a different comfort level.
Good for Corinne. I remember how proud I was when Atlee encountered a bully at a playground and her big brother stood up for her. He really does care about her! Or it could be a case of I can torture my little sister, but nobody else can.
I can totally see Corrine doing that! I can't wait to see you guys today :) Oh and about the man number thing I have to tell you a story today!
You're daughter rocks!! I worry about my Hannah's first bully experience and can only hope and pray it turns out well like yours did. I hope Hannah has a bit of attitude, haha. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do right??
And about the "sexism" part..My husband would be a bit upset had I picked up a male friend. I don't talk to other men just because I respect my husband and wouldn't want my hubby hanging out with other women. Not that I don't trust him but you know...If he had a wife and you and the wife hung out while the men hung out then it wouldn't be so bad I guess...It all depends on how you both feel about the situation and maybe this would be a perfect reason to chat about it and if it happens again kind of thing...I don't know, people say I have a backwards way of thinking...
Ok, I'll ask... was he hot? :)
Yeah, I can totally understand the awkwardness. Maybe an email exchange. Email is just easier.
You go, baby girl. And didn't you just have one of those mom moments where you felt like you'd done thing right?!
I would have felt awkward and, like Beck, my husband would be unimpressed by a guy friend he didn't know well.
:) No, not HOT. But very nice, and definitely not UGLY. However, I would have been uncomfortable (ok, JEALOUS) if Patrick had come home with some lady's # for a "playdate" so I really didn't know if it was ok to do it myself. Though he would have probably been FINE with it!
I don't know what I would do in that situation either; I'd probably be to chicken to ask for the phone # - even though it would obviously be for our kiddos to have a playdate. It would just feel weird.
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