Friday, May 22, 2009

MeMeMeMeMeMe

Is being an adult really just a continuous struggle to prove that you're not "old?" So much of our adulthood seems to incorporate a theme of heralding the days of our youth. I am getting sick of my desire to prove that I am just as fun as I used to be, back "in the days" before the responsibilities and little hands pulling on me became such an overwhelming presence that my duties and my personality have meshed into one entity.

Driving home from dropping off my kids at my mother-in-law's house allowed me more quiet time to think without interruption than I've had in months. Literally, MONTHS. Between Patrick's 2 jobs with weird hours and homeschooling, I am constantly surrounded by people. And most of those people expect me to feed/carry/care/etc. for them. And it is tiring...

This little bit of freedom from the duties and doldrums isn't really something I can fully explain. My hands are empty and my mind is racing through all of the things I could be doing with this unprecedented free time. My mother-in-law asked what I was going to bring in order to not get bored at the races... "Nothing" I said. "I welcome the boredom."

That will be me this weekend. Sitting. Standing. Smiling about nothing. Being quiet. Being loud. Being nobody's mother. Paying nobody's bills. Cleaning after no one but myself. Releasing the duties and allowing my personality to stand alone.

Just... existing.

Bliss.

17 comments:

Mom24 said...

That does sound wonderful. I'm afraid I wouldn't have any idea who that person is anymore. Sad.

Enjoy your time.

Gettysburg Mom said...

I can only barely imagine. Not like you need me to tell you or anything, but have fun!

Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

The other week I left the kids in the car to run back into the house and fetch some stuff I had forgotten. Suddenly I realized I was by myself in the house! It was the weirdest, most wonderful feeling :-)

Enjoy your weekend. You deserve it!

JC said...

Enjoy! Sounds like a nice break and like you said plenty of time to think. :) Jennifer

anymommy said...

Lovely. Enjoy. Having nothing pressing to do is heaven.

Vodka Mom said...

have a great weekend.....

WPMomOf2 (jen) said...

I rarely get alone time. Have you seen Marley & Me? Jen Aniston's meltdown was so familiar to me, ha.

Zip n Tizzy said...

Now that I'm moving in on 40 I take back everything I ever said to my mom about getting old not being a big deal. What did I know? I was just a stupid 17 year old.
I guess it happens to all of us.

Have a great time!

Ruby said...

That's what I'm talking about;-)

Have a great weekend!

Kristi said...

Enjoy it, because you deserve it. Oh, I am so jealous!

Kami's Khlopchyk said...

Hope you had a wonderful weekend. If you are like me you enjoyed it but were very happy to pick your kids up again :)

Beck said...

I hope that you had SO much fun, and that you are feeling so refreshed.

Tonya said...

sounds heavenly!

the mama bird diaries said...

Sounds fantastic. And you're right - what you said about constantly trying to recapture our youth. Instead, we should just be, as we are.

sheila said...

I can't believe how I've lost myself. It's funny because you literally wake up one day and realize....I do nothing for me. Nothing.

Hope you enjoyed a boring day. :) You deserve it.

Nap Warden said...

I just got some alone time over the weekend. I sat in silence...felt good:)

Jennifer said...

Hope you were able to enjoy some boredom. =)

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