Please leave God out of it

Here's my issue with bringing God and religion into Civil Rights' issues like marriage equality:

"He" doesn't belong there.

He doesn't. God can belong in your religious ceremony where you and your loved one get married. You can bring God into your home and worship him any way you feel is appropriate.

But God does not belong in a Civil Rights conversation. Separation of Church and State SHOULD mean that, well, the church and the state are SEPARATED.

Your church does not have to recognize a marriage. They don't have to perform ceremonies on anyone they feel do not meet their criteria. Whatever floats your boat, guys.

If I get married in a court house or a ceremony at the beach with a Justice of the Peace, I am not getting married in a "House of God*." Your religious views should have no bearing on whether or not two people have the "right" to wed. Not anymore. Not here. Not in this country.

If you can prove that there is some other reason why 2 people who are committing their lives to each other should not receive the EXACT SAME BENEFITS from the government, including all medical, property, taxes, etc., then please: let's discuss. But do NOT bring a religious deity into the conversation.




*My opinion is that the entire world is the House of God and that churches are buildings where people go to try to become closer to the religion, not God. But that is my own experience and (hopefully) not yours. I just know that being surrounded by strangers who may be judging what I am wearing and judging the behavior of my family in a building is not the most comfortable place to commune with the Universe.

If World Leaders Listened to their Mothers...

Tolerance = not speaking aloud all of the negative thoughts you are harboring about the person you don't accept. It means believing that you are better than someone else based upon their abilities, social standing or choices, but "enduring" it so that you are socially and politically correct.

Acceptance = genuinely believing that we all have a right to our life styles, religions or beliefs, and careers or lack thereof. It means that you don't see someone's physical/emotional/mental differences as something to be reckoned or "dealt with" because we are ALL different!

Thank God for that.

I'm not perfect, but I would sure love to witness more Acceptance of our Fellow Man in the world instead of simply Tolerance. I can "tolerate" an argument between my children, but I don't "accept" it.

I can "tolerate" a LOT of situations that I will never "accept".

One thing I will never tolerate OR accept will be ignorance of the rights of human beings. Every mother, everywhere has always said:

"Treat others as you'd like to be treated."

Honestly, if mothers were to be truly in charge of the world, the leaders would never reach a situation where they had weapons to play around with. After arguing and yelling and throwing their 'toys' about, they'd be grounded, without privileges, until they figured out how to get along!

I am bone tired of witnessing the pent-up anger of the world. I am fed UP with the whiny, over-privileged People of Luck who cannot empathize with the plight of their fellow man. I want nothing more than to send the leaders who demean and degrade their citizens straight to their rooms for a lengthy time-out. If you can't handle the responsibility that you asked for, then you can't get your allowance!

Honestly.

You say hello. I say goodbye...

Once again, I'm reminded of just how fleeting each stage in our lives are. Try though I might to not let myself get "comfortable" with what is my present, it happens. It happens and happens and each break from every normal is just as painful as the former...

Ebb and flow, in and out.

I had someone tell me recently that they liked my whole "hippie attitude." I smiled and said "Peace and love, go with the flow, live each moment to it's fullest, man." Inside, I wondered if he knew what a facade it really is.

I TRY.

I climb on every roller coaster and pretend to fly. I raise my arms and stretch my legs, letting the absolute joy overtake me. But it's quite the task to be present and conscious and in the moment every blessed day. Ironically enough, living life with joyful abandon requires some serious planning and collaboration. And writing from the heart while breaking up sibling fist fights just doesn't feel all too genuine...

Today I say goodbye.

Today I let another stage end for me and a dear friend as she excitedly begins a new stage in her life. Only fresh beginnings for her. No more dark reminders of the battle fought to achieve the happiness she now treasures. Only honesty and authenticity.

The absolute pride and wistful hope I feel for her is just that: Absolute. But the loss in my own life will be great. The thrill of locating her and renewing our bond just last summer, after a decade apart, makes her upcoming move across the country all the more poignant.


I'll miss you, Annie. Don't let any of your new opportunities pass you by.

Glee and Parenting...

Ok. Now, listen. Before I write this and you all gasp in horror at the fact that I let my kids watch Glee, let's just take into consideration that it's a MUSICAL show about MUSIC and it comes on directly after American Idol which I watch with my kids. And let's not forget the fact that it's about MUSIC which is a GOOD THING, especially in this crazy, messed-up world our kids are growing up today. I mean, there's Global Warming and Sexting! There are people who think it's ok to shout into their cell phones in check-out lines! THESE are the things we need to be worrying over, folks. Am I right or am I right?

Plus? I LOVE GLEE. It's everything I loved about the musicals from the 1940's - 60's but with better acting and more revealing costumes.

Scene: My family room. Popcorn is strewn over my checkboard carpet and a bowl of sherbet is melting at my feet. We have just voted 10 times in a row for Lee Dewyze and Glee flickers onto our set. At this point, I am caught in the eternal parenting struggle: Do I enforce what is "right" and turn off the slightly racy show or do I continue to recline on my comfy mouse-free sofa* and call this a "life learning experience?"

I chose the latter. And I was so glad. I am SO ecstatic about the lesson that my kids and I got to discuss again. I want to send out a loving shout to the writers of Glee and the actors who so beautifully executed the scene between Finn, Curt and his father on 5/24. (If you missed it, check out Hulu and watch Episode 20. )

To paraphrase the scene, Finn is embarrassed to be sharing a room with his mom's new boyfriend's son, Curt, who is openly gay. Finn slings out some very prejudiced remarks and is overheard by Curt's father, who lays into him and defends his son. My heart broke as I thought of all of the teenagers who don't have someone like Curt's father to stand up for them and beside them in the face of discrimination and hatred. (The very thought that someone might look at one of my children and hate them for a lifestyle, religion, or choice they may make in the future absolutely burns me up inside.) And so, in the middle of Glee, we paused the show and continued our ongoing discussion about equal rights, discrimination, homosexuality, and how everyone is different in some way. We discussed the ignorant hatred that some people hold against anyone who is "different" from what they consider "normal."

Evan wanted a better description of exactly what homosexuality is and why someone might hate you for being gay.

Justin had some insightful views about how everyone has something different about them and that maybe people who hate are just trying to hide their own differences.

Corinne made a point of saying that you shouldn't make fun of people, no matter what, "Even if they have purple hair, Mommy. You shouldn't tease someone who has purple hair. And you shouldn't tease someone with blue eyes, either. Like, I shouldn't say 'Blue eyes, blue eyes, you have blue eyes.' Right Mommy?" (She may have missed the point, just a tad...)

But the MAIN point was understood by them: Love people. Accept that the world is full of vastly varied people from incredibly different walks of life. We are all deserving of love and friendship. And no one deserves to live in fear for simply being who they are. I hope that I can instill in my kids the knowledge to not give into the disease that is prejudice and the courage to fight against it, as well...



* IhopeIhopeIhopeIhope...

In Which My Naive Heart Meets Reality

Ever have someone that you just click with? No matter how long the time between talking or seeing each other, you just seem to understand the other's silences and thoughts, their sense of humor and views on life. When I reconnected with a dear person recently, we were both shocked at how much we missed each other, and amazed at how we had managed to live 15 years of our lives without being friends.

What shocked me initially though, was that this kind person was nervous to meet with me. My friend feared that I wouldn't react well to the changes that life had brought to the surface. That I would, in fact, be uncomfortable or reject the possibility of friendship with someone who has finally begun to accept the reality that she is a She, despite what her birth certificate displays.

Am I really that unusual in my ability to accept this change so freely? Is someone being transgender truly something that affects others in such a profoundly vile way? Am I that incredibly naive to assume that the world would OF COURSE see the lovely person inside, without worrying about the external differences?

I've tried to wrap my mind around it, but my heart keeps getting in the way. For all I saw when I gave her a hug, was someone with a generous heart and soul, who wouldn't hurt a fly (or mouse). All I saw was the same sweet person from my youth. True, we've both gotten a little older, and compared a couple of gray hairs (grrrrrr) but the core of who we are is the same. The decision to finally "get busy living" and embrace her true nature hasn't changed the person that is inside.

But I heard the fear of being rejected or treated horribly in her voice. I know that the expectation of being hurt or pushed aside was already thought out in her head before we said hello. For the daily life of someone who is transgender is something I can only imagine...

This gentle soul has to hide her true identity at work. In this economy, none of us want to take a chance at losing our jobs, and the reality is that coming out at work regarding one's gender identity or sexual orientation is still dangerous. Most states don't have any protection for LGBT rights. Though Illinois has some, they are not all-inclusive or equal with those who are born into the gender they identify with or those who have a different sexual orientation. There exists the very real possibility that she could be fired without reason, simply because of who she is. And that? That. Makes. Me. Ill.

We need to wake up. We need to protect EVERYONE. Minorities aren't just ethnicities, religions or those with different physical or mental abilities. Every single person on this planet has something that makes them unique. Some trait, belief, or difference that sets them apart from others. What is YOUR unique difference? How would you feel if that very special trait made you fearful of hate crimes or of losing the right to live a happy, peaceful life?

I know I'm naive, now. I know that I am a little unusual in that I DON'T CARE who makes your heart beat faster or how you want to dress. I want only for each person on Earth to experience happiness, joy and acceptance. It is not up to anyone else to determine how you are "supposed" to feel happy.