Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I wasn't quite ready....

It doesn't mean I don't love them, but I wasn't ready to come home on Monday. I definitely "found myself" again at Indy, but I wasn't happy to return to the other stuff. If anything, that brief snippet of freedom has pushed me down. I long to be sitting alone with Patrick again, just talking and laughing and looking into his eyes...

Especially when I find out that the youngest 2 children were less than well behaved for Grandma. Especially when I just needed something to be easy for a change. It would have been nice to end my short bit of "vacation" with a pleasant report, that's all. I mean, I wasn't happy to be back as it was, let alone to have to be embarrassed at my own kids' behavior the moment I walked through the door.

Today simply continued that fabulous return to reality when Justin absolutely, positively flipped the freak out. Over what? I have no clue. HE has no clue. He even said so. Rather, he sobbed so. Then he blamed his lack of Xbox on his depressed status. That, of course, didn't go over well with me. "The family can't stop for one person" I said, and MADE him go to homeschool club even though he insisted he wouldn't have fun or learn anything while he was there. Funny thing, though; the moment he walked in? He began to help with the art project (shaving crayons to make melted wax paper butterflies). He and 4 other boys put their heads together and created several projects with the boxes that were left over from the butterfly habitats the group created (we're all getting caterpillars soon). And what do you know? They all had a blast. And, (GASP!) maybe even LEARNED something! Even though Justin denied it the moment we left...

And Corinne continued the lovely evening by smacking Evan and involving him in a fight over... I don't know. Does it matter? No. The point is, she went to bed early and I got to sit in my room matching socks for over an hour. Welcome to Reality.

Whatever. I honestly don't care.

I lie. I do care. And because of the public nature of this blog and the people that I know who read it, I cannot go into much more detail about my dark mood. Just let it be said that I am under no illusion that my kids are perfect. THANK GOD. They throw tantrums, and they fight. They question and expect things to be "fair". They are NORMAL. But it still stings when someone else doubts their good aspects or focuses on their bad ones.**

**To clarify as I have hurt the feelings of someone I love deeply: This was NOT referring to my mother-in-law's reports or feelings about her grandkids. This was referring to comments that a random person in my life made that just rubbed me raw after hearing about the kids' actions for Grandma and then Justin's pre-teen angst flip-out. I am not used to having people I know be immediately affected by the blog. Though I have kept my mouth shut on several posts, I see now that I need to make a better effort to be even more discreet and cautious. I apologize....

15 comments:

Becky said...

I'm that way, too. I get frustrated with my kids' lousy behavior myself, but if someone else points it out, I get pretty bent out of shape.

I hope life gets a little less obnoxious soon!

LceeL said...

Tracey, your kids are normal kids. My kids did all of that stuff - and more. But they never lied. They don't cheat. and they've never stolen anything from me - the State of Illinois could get pissed about the DIP sign in my garage, but hey, they were boys. It's a pain when your kids won't behave for others - our kids would suddenly find themselves short of privileges when they'd pull something like that - but if the consequences are soon enough and clear enough, they'll start to remember the consequences the next time someone else watches them for you. They WILL surprise one day. Honest. They WILL do it right. It just might take a little while to get that far.

Jeni said...

It's hard coming home sometimes, especially to all of that. At least you know that it's normal, and that's the important part. Hope another break comes along in the not too distant future.

Hannah said...

"They throw tantrums, and they fight. They question and expect things to be "fair". They are NORMAL. But it still stings when someone else doubts their good aspects or focuses on their bad ones."

AMEN. I can definitely relate to this. My youngest was a terror for his grandparents a few weeks ago (smearing fecal matter on the walls, something he has NEVER done in his entire life) and calling my Mum names. His behaviour was so bad that my Dad ended up bringing him home. I cried. Mostly because I was embarassed that my child had behaved that way, but also because it hurt me SO bad to have his faults pointed out so blatantly. But we got past it, all of us. Things will get better for you guys, too.

Mike said...

Who doesn't?


Mike
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Mom24 said...

Why oh why do we let people we know read our blogs?

I'm sorry.

I have the expectation that others will be so enraptured with my children they will be blind to their faults, and that is exactly the way I behave with my grandkids. It does hurt to have others criticize. It doesn't matter what we know ourselves.

Badness Jones said...

Hugs. I hope the cloud passes over soon.

Gettysburg Mom said...

I'd be worried if my kids never acted out or behaved badly. It's not normal.

We went to a friend's 60th birthday party this weekend. In the midst of a party with 100+ people, a swimming pool, karaoke, mounds of food and a roaming pack of kids, Shea wanted to leave because he was soooooo bored he might die. I thought of it when reading about Justin insisting he wouldn't have any fun at the homeschool group.

I'm pretty sure you don't need me to tell you this too will pass...

L~ said...

I hear you!! No matter what our kids behave like, they are making choices. These choices do not define who they are as people. They are figuring out their was in this world,just like you and I. Others comments about our offspring really hurts.

CaraBee said...

Fighting is normal kid behavior. Or, you know, that's what I hear. My angel would never do anything so crass.

If you believe that, I've got a bridge I'd like you to take a look at. Prime location. Great buy.

Keep your chin up!

Dana said...

I'm so glad to hear you had a great time! I expected you would. As for the naughty kids....I've SO been there and feel for you. I get the whole mama bear thing going when others point out my kids' flaws. It's not like I, myself, don't know them....no need to go ranting and raving to me about what monsters they are. I always feel like their behavior is a direct reflection on me but in reality, it's not.

Sorting socks.....SO not a loved chore at my house! In fact, I'd rather clean the boys' bathroom!

Kristi said...

I think we have opposite problems. Isabella is 2.5 and is therefore a heavily tantrum-proned, whiny little being (love her though I do!). My relatives, however, belieive she is the second coming, and focus on NOTHING but her good qualities, even when she is behaving horribly. And when we discipline her? We're monsters!

I hope you're feeling better soon. This too shall pass.

anymommy said...

Absolutely. There's nothing harder than hearing someone else criticize your kids for any reason. Only me, people, I can do it frequently, you must pretend they are angels ;-)

It's hard to come home and settle in sometimes. May the week improve.

stella said...

I read once in a Vicki Iovine book (she writes all the girlfriends guides) that when someone comes to pick up their child that you should only emphasize the positive!

No Mom wants to hear that their child was the bully, the biter, the tantrum throwing, pants peeing tyrant. But all kids have their glorious moments and all kids are terrible. It really does nobody any good to point out to a parent every little freak out. I'm sorry you got a bad report! Kids are just weird little primitive turds. Don't sweat it!

Marie said...

I appreciate the way you blog about your kids, the good and the bad, because Heaven knows we all deal with it, and the comraderie feels good! Thanks!

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