Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful

You just don't know.

You have no idea what it's like to be me. To be this powerful and important; this insanely pivotal in the lives of the entire household; it's a massive responsibility. Added to all of that, I have to be blessed/cursed with an intensely beautiful countenance? With my sleek lines and everlasting glow, I appeal to more than just the average male's hunger; the women that repeatedly flock to me also cannot contain their desire.

I don't just draw attention: I demand it. I capture it. And I can retain it until you're shivering with joy.

You call me conceited? I call you jealous.

And justified.

After all,

I am not your ordinary appliance.

I am a freaking Whirlpool Gold Side by Side. I have 25 Cubic Feet of space available to store your heart's desire and keep it fresher than you could ever imagine, thanks to my built-in sensors and produce preserver.

Let me guess; Suddenly, you're finding yourself attracted to not only my attractive exterior, but to my brilliant abilities. I'll bet your mother's insistent words of "It's what's INSIDE that counts," are ringing like church bells in your head.

Momma was right. Cuz baby, I am gonna rock your world.

*Disclaimer: I will be reviewing this Whirlpool refrigerator for the next year. Though these posts will be sponsored, all opinions and words will be my own. Also, my refrigerator cannot really talk. I do hope that this is obvious. But it would be a cool feature, eh? 

Thank you to Jocelyn Geboy for the idea... :)


Brandie said...

Your house is just full of beautiful things and people! =)

tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

Oh, Brandie. I love you so much.

Julie said...

I would not want my fridge to talk. It would say, "You're in here again? Why don't you go shop and put some food in me." Hope you enjoy yours!

tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

Julie, mine would probably say "NOT THE ICE CREAM AGAIN! Your THIGHS, woman: YOUR THIGHSSS!!!"

AiringMyLaundry said...

Nice fridge!

Stacia said...

They could market it as the Knight Rider fridge. I'd buy one!

Jenn said...

You had me at hello. Wait...did you even say hello? Maybe you had me BEFORE hello....

Mel S. said...

Can your fridge come over to my house? Cute post!

Lisa Hanneman said...

A new fridge is one of the best things ever... And this is quite the model to break in. Have fun with it! You're off to a good start.

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