Saturday, July 31, 2010

No radio, no a/c, construction traffic and a 4 year old. Do the math.

"Do we have an attic?"

"Why do you ask?" (picturing her climbing into the crawl area in the boys' closet. I've managed to hide that little storage spot from them and intend to keep it that way.)

"I just want to know!"

I hesitate...

"In my closet, way up high, yes."

"Why is it up high? Does it have anything in it? Can I see inside it?"

"Because they made it that way. It's empty. And no."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not for you."

"But why?"

"Because I SAID so. Now let me drive."

....

"Is the devil for real?"

"What do you think?"

"Billy* says the devil's for real and he will GET you if you are bad."

"Get you? Well, Billy's family believes in the devil and the Bible. Everybody's different. You are allowed to believe whatever you want. What do you believe?"

"I don't think the devil's real."

"Fabulous. Let me drive."

......

"Why don't we store anything in our attic?"

"Aaarrrggggh!! Because it's up high and it gets too hot and I don't want to mess around with it. I am a basement person. I store in the basement, not the attic."

"Why does it get hot?"

"Because the insulation and circulation are all screwy up there and if you ever DO go up there without an adult you could get stuck and suffocate and DIE. Now LET ME DRIVE!"

.....

"Did you know that if you put a plastic bag over your head, you can die? Even little kids, Momma. If a little kid puts a bag over her head, she will DIE. Did you know that, hmmm?"

"Holy hell, child. PLEASE be silent, for just a few minutes, please?!?"

.....

"Isn't hell where the devil lives, Mommy? In hell? So, is he real after all? And why are you a basement person? Don't you like the summertime? I like the summertime. You can go swimming in the summertime and eat popsicles outside. Did you know...."


I really need to get another radio in my van.

*not his real name

8 comments:

Fairly Odd Mother said...

LOL, the constant chattering drives me batty too. (and see, you middle kids do rock and get commenters too!)

The Empress said...

ok, since you seem to be and give the appearance of being reasonably sane and stable: he's not going to change. mine is 15, and I practically have to push him out of my bedroom at night so I can sleep. my friends say i'm a lucky woman. I deep down know that,too, and so do you, i'll bet...

Megryansmom said...

Tee hee hee, same conversation continued over here. Sleepover night for the boys....why is the red crayon red? Do you want to color with me? Pa come sit on the floor....

Michelle said...

*giggle* *snort* I love the conversations that occur in the car. The questions they come up with. And the observations!

Lisa said...

You might want to find a way to lock the kids out of the attic. Attics and closets are completely irresistible to kids. My sisters and I were fascinated with attics. Off-limits spaces (such as the hayloft in our barn) were our favorite places- and the danger of getting in trouble only made it better. Once they know it exists, they WILL find a moment when you aren't around to get in.

Caitlin N said...

Haha. This is hilarious. I love having conversations with kids. They're always interesting.

Stacia said...

And if you eat popsicles in the attic in the summer, will you still be hot? Or if you eat them in the basement in the winter, will you still be cold? Or if you ...

I feel you!

Gettysburg Mom said...

I also know the pain of a radio-free minivan. Except I can't hear the kids in the back row. So our conversations tend to go, "What? I can't hear you..." "whisper whisper whisper" What? I can't hear you..." repeat until child screams "Never mind!"

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