Wednesday, September 02, 2009

To Enjoy It

What have I been doing?

Rolling right along, living life. Wondering about the meaning of it all, and knowing there isn't any answer other than "to enjoy it." Trying to follow that mantra...

Yesterday at the park, watching the kids run and play with other homeschooled children... 1 in the afternoon on a Tuesday, the sun is shining and the rest of my loved ones are inside buildings and offices.

How long will this stage of my life last? When will I again find myself immersed in schedules and paperwork, tedious chores and duties that don't include marching across a field to the creek to search for frogs (we found 1. A Big FAT frog, covered in mud, despite the claims from Evan that is was frog poop)? How many days will I honestly be able to say that I lived without using a clock or watch? NOT ONCE did the numbers that mark the sun's position matter in our week. You're hungry? Eat. You're tired? Sleep. Your schoolwork's done? Play.

So blessed to know this freedom of routine. So blessed to explain The Cold War over pancakes and multiplication until it's understood.

Enjoy this, enjoy this, enjoy this.

Soon this shall pass. Soon they will grow and change and leave. ALL too soon this stage of my life will be only a memory on a blog, long forgotten and difficult to remember... Like the baby pictures of my now-gangly school-children, whose days of infancy are like a blurry dream; some other Tracey. Some other child.

I want to remember the wistful tears in my coffee this morning. The tangles in Justin's hair, the glue and glitter on the kitchen table, and the way Evan's tooth is dangling on its last threads. I want to remember it all, without the dreamlike quality that the passing years inevitably color our memories with...

13 comments:

mom2three said...

I think because you blog...you can remember it all!!! I actually turn my blog posts a few times a year into a book(www.blurb.com)
Since kids are very rarely know what day it is or what time it is anymore...it will be sad when that time passes.
Great thoughts!

Ruby said...

love it

Stephanie said...

I envy your ability to go with the flow like that. That's awesome. I love that homeschooling is working out so well for you!

It can be terrible sometimes, can it not? That we are unable to stop the passage of time and keep our children exactly as they are at this moment. I wish...

Hannah said...

I'm thrilled for you that the home schooling is going so well. And I have to agree with the first poster ... your blog posts are going to be so precious and treasured in the years to come, because even if you DO enjoy EVERY moment, you won't remember all of it ... and coming back here to read and reminisce will be wonderful. It's why I blog, too.

Dana said...

It sounds like a lovely way to spend your days. Too bad my days of homeschooling would include constant bickering. I did it once and it WAS a great experience. Of course that was 3.5 kids ago.....

The tooth dangling on it's last thread....ew. Those ones are maybe best forgotten! LOL

anymommy said...

What is it about this time of year that makes these thoughts take over? We are on the same mental page. Enjoy it indeed.

CaraBee said...

What a beautiful post, Tracey!

Lori said...

Yes Tracey! This brought tears to my eyes. I look back with longing at those carefree days of exploration, setting your own schedules by your own rhythms, learning anywhere, everywhere, and being keenly aware of each of your children's growth. Yes, enjoy it now, because it does change. I have one still at home, one now in high school. And I have wonderful memories of how we all used to spend our days. I'll always have the memories, but I will never have the days again.
Enjoy!

BusyDad said...

It is indeed the little details that make life what it is. And you're right, it is these things that you forget as you go thru life. That is precisely why I started blogging. Of course now, my memories will be about peeing into tupperware and making mushroom burgers and running from the cops with my kid... hmmm. Maybe I should just write poems. :) Enjoy all this while you live it!

Adventures In Babywearing said...

Very very good things to remember. I wonder what it will be like one day to look way back upon these blogs...

Steph

Kristi said...

Aww... love it, Tracey. I need to do much, MUCH more of what you write about here.

Nap Warden said...

About the time you get a grip on things...they go and change. Way to embrace the here and now:)

sheila said...

This post was really reallyyyy nice. A good reminder for all.
:)

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